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What He Was: It’s Just About… Life

August 29, 2017 By markbrodinsky Leave a Comment

Live long enough and you just might just see it all. The good, the bad, the ugly… the heartbreaking.

It’s been several days now since Brian Feit died on a road just outside Towson, Maryland. His car crossed the center line, his life had barely crossed the half-century mark. Too young. Too soon. Too crazy to comprehend.

Yet, it’s reality. For his wife Holly, his daughter Zoey, his son Trevor, it’s too much to bear. For a community in shock, for literally hundreds of friends and family who knew Brian, it’s nearly impossible to imagine. And it’s a sad sequel to a time most of us wish never happened.

Back in 2010 one of Brian’s best friends, Larry Bensky, was killed while riding his bike along the back roads in Baltimore County. At the time it was tough for Brian to understand how God could allow his best friend’s life to be cut short.  Larry was only 44 when he died. Now the two are together. There, up in heaven, maybe they both have come to understand what it’s hard to believe here on earth – once in a while God takes a really good one. But much too soon.

 

I knew both Brian and Larry and all I can figure is it must be a tough job being the Almighty, and I suppose you need some real angels to help get it right, to help make sure souls here on earth are taken care of, are shown the right way, are taught that love conquers all – that’s why He needed two blood brothers to join Him. To teach us all how to become more.

It’s the only reason that makes any sense. Since high school, Brian came in-and-out of my life and at different times I got to spend time with both he and his wife Holly. But in what now seems an incredible twist of fate, Brian passed right through my life again, less than a week before he passed away.

When the garbage disposal broke under the kitchen sink the week of August 14th, there was only one call I needed to make – to Brian. Brian was a master plumber, and a friend. Who else would I want? When asked, “how much does he charge?”, it didn’t really matter, my response was, “I trust he will get it right and he’ll be fair.” The best thing I’ve known about Brian is, he was always fair. Before he left the house on August 18th he wrote up a receipt and for some reason I saved it, I have no idea why. The day I got the text Brian was gone, I just stared at that receipt, wondering aloud why I hadn’t tossed it aside.

Was there some inner sense I felt something was coming? No way. Maybe just because when it came to Brian, there was something worth savoring.

I don’t know Brian as well as his close friends from school and no one will ever know him as well as his beautiful wife and two incredible children. But to hear the stories and see the overwhelming love over the past few days – you know there’s one man who got life right. The love you get is only equal to the love you give.

“I is what I is”, he would say.

Brian & his sister Gayle

 

Standing at the outdoor services to honor Brian’s memory the past few evenings, under the dimming light, in the waning days of the summer season, with a cool breeze gently blowing through the backyard, you could almost feel as if Brian was there watching. As if perhaps God tried to give his family a gift – crafting two of the most perfect weather days of the year. If God wanted Brian, maybe the Lord was trying to leave a little perfection behind for his family. One more warm memory. And why not, Brian was a soulful spirit who never left anyone feeling cold.

Cold wasn’t in Brian’s vocabulary – certainly not in the life he brought to this earth. Honest to a fault, devoted to his family, adored by his friends, Brian was almost an anomaly in a world where everyone tries to be like everyone else. But Brian refused to follow the herd. Not only was he a master plumber, he was a master griller, he never met a piece of good Baltimore beef he didn’t like, or couldn’t cook. He loved to tell stories, to tell it like it is, to hold nothing back.  I was not among his circle of closest friends, but to hear the stories his friends and family told at his funeral – of a man with great character, integrity, great fun and great caring – you got the sense that while Brian didn’t try to be everything to everyone, there was no one he met who wasn’t left with an impression of meeting someone special.

“I is what I is”, he would say.

 

What he was will long be remembered. You don’t create a life so many celebrate without leaving an indelible mark. The goal of this life is to make sure people know you came this way. There was much more “way” in front of Brian, but behind him now are memories that will take a lifetime to recall. That’s the good stuff – be who you are – manage to pull that off and no one will ever forget you, and so many will love you, for just being you.

It was a life well-lived, albeit much, much too short. Brian was Brian. “I is what I is”, he would say.

Rest in peace Brian Feit. Thanks for being who you were meant to be.

 

Until next time thanks for taking the time,

Mark Brodinsky

 

 

 

 

 

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Love seeing new blogs hit the ground running like this one (by a dad no less), but I also urge anyone vaguely interested in blogging to stay tuned, I am. Good luck on your journey – glad that I am along for the ride.

Rachel Blaufeld

Great blog Mark! I always appreciate reading what you have to say. You are very gifted and talented and hopefully someday you’ll not just blog, but write a book.

 Stephen Koncurat

I’m definitely along for the ride. We’ve all seen how much damage the written word can inflict. More positive writers are needed. And I love how you are using your personal experiences – those with your wife and children – and your gift of writing to open eyes and to inspire others.

Victoria Endicott

Absolutely beautifully written! The girls in your life must be very proud of you. Thanks for sharing Mark, I look forward to reading more!

Gina Glick Jolson

Very shortly this site will be famous amid all blogging and site-building users, due to it’s pleasant posts.

Leila Galloway

Absolutely beautiful! Are you at all thinking of penning a book? You’ve got a fan base out there that really thinks you should Mark. You write so eloquently. Glad that I got onto this site.

Marilyn Lefkowitz

Mark, You are truly a gifted writer and obviously, a special father and husband . Always a delight to read your words.

I’m speechless…beautiful words flow from your heart just like a gentle waterfall into a tranquil stream… thank you so much for the friend request I was blessed the day I clicked confirm.

Lynne Turner Dorsey

From your first writing in 4th grade entitled “People” which was published in the school newspaper, you have always been able to write. Never more so than when you started “Caringbridge” and now your blog, everyone who reads says what a wonderful writer you are. Our DREAM for you is to become an author and encourage people every day. You are by the far the best and we hope and pray you reach your dream.

Bonnie Brodinsky

I know you always thank us for reading but I would like to say thanks for writing.

Stuart Abell

Great piece. You are an inspiration!

Rob Commodari

Mark I just wanted to let you know that you are succeeding in your “ultimate goal”. I have gained so much from your blogs. I look forward to reading them for the special lift that they give me. Thank you.

Amy F.

I love waking up and starting my day with my coffee and your blog! It a great way to start my day with positive uplifting thoughts!! It puts me in a positive frame of mind throughout the day and allows me to reflect on my personal life, make changes, and grow !!!

Gayle Blank

You are quite talented Mark. Thanks for sharing!

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I always look forward to your Blog Mark. Thanks for sharing and as you always do, make it a great / remarkable Day!

Chuck Connolly

Thanks for your Blog Mark. It is fun, encouraging and a nice break from a day full of ups and downs.

Jackie Hetrick

With my busy schedule, there is (sadly) little time for reading. But I have two must-reads every time I come across them, the sports section and your blogs. Keep inspiring and following your dream!

Ed Nemec

Mark, you are a truly remarkable individual. You do speak from your heart, I can’t wait to read your book. You are an incredible writer.

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Mark, I am glad I clicked on your post this morning, which lead me to your writing, your goal.
Would like to connect. This speaks to me.

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I can’t wait to read the book. I have followed all the blogs and feel so good that I know u guys. You make me cry but you make me laugh too. All the very best to you!

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WOW!!! It Takes 2 is a must read for anyone who has known someone diagnosed with cancer or other life threatening disease. This is the real story of a family lead by an incredible woman, Debbie Brodinsky, who took radical steps to beat the breast cancer beast. The story is told by her husband, Mark Brodinsky, through journal entries he kept starting with diagnosis through one year cancer free. This author's unique ability to pour his heart out onto the page draws you in from the beginning and holds you until the very end.

Thanks to Mark and Debbie Brodinsky for this gift...I have a new perspective on what it means to be a breast cancer survivor. You are a hero, Debbie Brodinsky!

TeeBThree
September 25, 2013

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This book gives a heartfelt, in depth description of what it is like to go through breast cancer with the one you love. It is beautifully written and I felt as though I was living it with them! I highly recommend this book!

Jgs17
September 24, 2013

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In It Takes 2, Mark Brodinsky windows us into his world where his wife, the cancer patient, is not the only victim. Part journal, part roadmap, It Takes 2 goes to the real humanity of facing the mortality of one's better half. Mark's candid perspective, love, and fierce intention resonate with hope in a story which is about much more than cancer. Mark himself is perhaps the most heroic character for the way he appreciates this life and so many of us in it...as he says, "thanks for caring."

Réné Pallace
September 24, 2013

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It Takes Two: A Spouse's Story by Mark Brodinsky should be read by every person who is experiencing serious illness or injury or by a loved one of someone who is experiencing either of those situations. The book is an eloquent testament to the power of love and the healing energy derived from the belief that things will get better. There is not one word of "poor me" from the author or his wife who suffered breast cancer and the radical surgery she elected to have to beat the cancer. Rather, the book is a celebration of the courage displayed by them both in seeing it through.

The book also encourages readers to speak and write down their true feelings and be validated in them. John Mackovic writing in the Palm Springs, CA Desert Sun on November 2, 2013 quoted author and artist Doe Zantamata who said, " To be happy, you don't have to do anything new. You just have to remember how to believe again...Believe everything good is possible. Believe in your dreams. Believe in people. Believe in love. But most of all...believe in yourself." The author, his wife, their family and extended family and friends never stopped believing in his wife's recovery, and I think, in themselves. Read this book and believe.

Paul A. Riecks
November 4, 2013

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This book is a must read for anyone with a family member with breast cancer. It takes you through the spouse's perspective from diagnosis to recovery. Mark journaled his wife's journey and put all of his emotions out there. It is beautifully written and inspiring to anyone going through breast cancer. Thank you, Mark for sharing Debbie's story.

Jmu1109
October 23, 2013

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A friend recommended this book. This was a great perspective of a man standing beside his partner and passing along to the reader fear, hope, useful information and a broader story than his own. I loved Vinnie the tattoo artist. This is a great book. Thanks for sharing, Mark and "thanks for caring"

Blahsan

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This book is a must read. What sets this book apart from other books about surviving breast cancer is that it is told by the husband and his point of view, not from the survivor. At times sad, at times poignant but even through the worst of it you can always feel the love he has for his wife, her strength and the strength of their extended family and friends. The posts that are included from their friends and family lets you really into the heart and strength of the family. I would recommend this book to anyone who is currently going through this, whether you are the person or the caregiver. I also recommend this book to anyone who has a friend that has been or is currently going through their fight now. It was an eye opener for me.

L. Bogash
Seven Valleys, PA

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There isn't a shortage of books about breast cancer, but most are written from the perspective of the person who has battled cancer or a physician or other expert. What an enlightening experience to read about breast cancer from a husband and caregiver's perspective! Not only does the author give us insight into his wife's experience and emotions, but he openly shares and reveals his love, compassion, support, and, yes, sometimes anger at the disease as he stands by his wife's side during their journey to beat the beast. Your story may not be the same, but I guarantee if you have a loved one battling cancer, you won't go wrong reading It Takes 2.

 PattiM
September 25, 2013

 

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From the moment I opened this book I never stopped reading. Mark invites the reader to come along on this journey that his family went through. I cried, laughed and learned so much. This book will give comfort and knowledge to those going through similar situations. Most importantly, Mark and his family never give up. They get knocked down and get right back up. They fought cancer together and with their strength, determination and will to prevail... They do!

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