Life & The Sunday Series

Find your why and find your way. Become more.

  • About Mark Brodinsky
  • Contact
  • The Higher Shelf!
  • Home

Need inspiration to find your why and your way?

Join the Tribe Today!

The Sunday Series (53), with Mark Brodinsky

January 11, 2015 By markbrodinsky 6 Comments

It is pure and raw courage from those who live through it. It is the inspiration from those afflicted and then from those left behind. It is a living, breathing beacon of  light and hope, from those who find a way to come back from its depths.

The Sunday Series (53): Margaux’s Heart

It was just before the holiday season began a few weeks ago, when I received an e-mail from Lesley, a woman from Switzerland whom I have never met:

I just came upon your blog post of August 26th about Victoria Gelfman, a post I came to by way of Facebook through the friend of a friend, (http://markbrodinsky.com/the-sunday-series-38-with-mark-brodinsky/). I didn’t know Victoria or her parents, but I somehow immediately felt connected to them via your post, which struck a chord so deep within the core of my being that I simply had to write you and thank you.  Rare is the individual who is able to express the depths of a parent’s sorrow with such poignancy, such sensitivity and compassion, as you did with this post:
“We are all children forever, in the minds, in the eyes and in the hearts of our parents. And the place that heart should never have to go is the place where life is completely turned upside down, a place so dark, an abyss so deep that if there was ever a moment time should stand still, if simply to pay respect to life’s greatest tragedy, then that is the moment.  The loss of a child.”

lesley and the kids

Lesley Imhof has been there and back. And closing in on a decade since that moment, she has a story and a lesson for all of us.

Her daughter Margaux was a normal 15-year-old girl, a junior at St. George’s School in Lausanne, Switzerland. Margaux was a good skier, a good athlete, she sang in the choir, she was an avid reader, she spoke fluent French and Spanish and even dreamed of being an actress one day. The days of her life were full and she was living the life of a teenager.

Margaux & Nicholas

Margaux & Nicholas

 

But then there was that day in May of 2004 when Margaux showed her mom the growth on the inside of her thigh.

The growth, about the size of a golf ball, was diagnosed as Hodgkins lymphoma, and the family was told that caught in the early stages it was highly curable. But another set of tests told a different story, the growth was actually an aggressive type of cancer, rhabdomyosarcoma – and it had already progressed to stage 4.

Lesley says it felt like “I’d been hit by a train. But for Margaux it was different. I don’t think she realized what was happening, I don’t think she ever thought it could be fatal “, says Lesley. “She always thought she would be part of the 65% who survived.”

Treatment was swift – rounds of chemotherapy and some exploratory surgery to find where the cancer originated. That surgery was a success and Margaux was determined to finish out her junior year at St. George’s School. Her teachers and other students were fully supportive, doing whatever it took to keep Margaux on track. For many it was the first time anyone at the school had to deal with this type of life event – a child dealing with a life-threatening illness.  Margaux’s principal even showed up at the hospital room where Margaux was undergoing treatment to bring in one of her exams. Margaux finished that year, celebrated her 16th birthday in June and continued to battle back.

margaux solo

Part of that battle soon became Margaux’s purpose in life. She wanted to raise money for a foundation to help others – so perhaps no other child would have to go through what she was enduring. Despite the tough treatments for her illness, Margaux managed to mobilize a campaign through her school and the community to raise funds for fond’action against cancer,  (http://www.fondaction.ch/). Margaux’s choir created a CD of songs to sell. The CEO of the Fiat car company even donated a car for which the students sold lottery tickets and other students wrote a book of poems, all to raise money and awareness for Margaux’s cause.  Despite her daily fight against the disease, Margaux was able to lead an effort which raised an astonishing $100,000.

Lesley says her daughter was certainly brave and fearless (at least on the surface) in the face of extreme adversity, but her legacy is Margaux’s ability to connect with people, and to touch their hearts. Lesley remembers how often times Margaux would go out of her way to laugh with the nurses and the other hospital staff to make THEM feel more comfortable when treating her. Her innate ability to make people, young and old, feel at ease, was her most attractive quality.

margaux pretty

Quality matters, but it was the quantity of time that was running short.

Time. That one element of our lives that pushes us toward some destiny, some outcome, sometimes one so random, it is completely out of our control. Despite her positive outlook – the illness continued to get the best of Margaux.

By the spring of her 16th year, Lesley and her husband Robert tried to get Margaux into a clinical trial and get a hold of a drug which they had heard was having success. Their oncologist was not convinced it was worth it, but as Lesley says at the time, as Margaux was getting worse, “you accept anything you can” to try and save her.

Unfortunately the drug failed to perform and by July of 2005 Lesley and Robert were told to bring Margaux home for hospice. On July 25th, a month after her 17th-birthday, Margaux slipped away.

The entire community held a memorial service for Margaux. Many people, students and teachers alike, had never experienced this kind of tragedy at the St. George’s School, losing someone so young to cancer. Lesley says the memorial service was just beautiful. The choir sang a series of songs, students, teachers and the principal read some beautiful poems, including the classic from Mary Elizabeth Frye:

Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there; I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow,
I am the sun on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning’s hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there; I did not die.

“As a parent all you want to do is protect your child from harm”, says Lesely. But when you know the end is near all you can do is succumb to the knowledge that we are all so profoundly vulnerable and the only thing that really matters is to tell your child how much they mean to you. We are all just passing through, let’s not waste any more time before we share our gratitude for each other, for our health, for our life.”

There’s a quote from the esteemed poet Maya Angelou, which Lesley says sums up Margaux’s life – a life though much too short, had such a tremendous impact on others: “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

It’s that feeling that Lesley says she wants to keep alive, Margaux’s tremendous spirit and how she was able to touch the hearts of others. Lesley says,” life without Margaux was very hard, especially the first year.” But then there’s the concept of time again. Margaux’s time on this earth was much too short, but the time since she passed until today, has helped, in some small respect, to heal. Now, nearly ten years removed from the depths of sadness, Lesley says what she feels is gratitude. “As Margaux’s parent I witnessed a powerful transformation from a materialistic teenager to a driven, focused young woman who was inspired by her ordeal to make a difference. What I have learned is to feel and express gratitude. It was the most enriching, life-changing experience I have ever had. Margaux was my hero, she was her father’s hero and her brother Nicholas’s hero. I don’t feel anything other than extremely blessed to have had my time with her.”

lesley and margaux margaux and her dad

Let’s be honest, every life matters. The trouble with life is when the order of the universe is up-ended, when everything we believe about the cycle of life is in inverse proportion to how we are told our lives should go. At some point we are meant to say goodbye, to bid a final farewell to those who came before us. But never – ever – should it be the other way around. Never should we have to bury a child.

Yet it happens.

There is no reason why, no justification, no final resolution for the simply unimaginable loss and then as a parent to find your way back from the abyss. Not everyone finds their way back.

Earlier in this story I shared Lesley’s comment from her original e-mail, “that rare is the individual who can express the depths of a parent’s sorrow.”  Yes, I am a father to two daughters, and I understand the incredible unconditional love that resonates with this miracle of life. And while I appreciate Lesley’s kind words, because it means my own writing spoke to her heart, there is a chasm here so big, one I hope never to cross, but it must be acknowledged. I wrote it, but Lesley lived it.

So on a personal note I say to Lesley, rare is the individual who can suffer life’s greatest tragedy, and turn this personal, unfathomable pain into what you described as your greatest gain, one of pure gratitude for receiving the honor to experience the miracle of life with this single heart which was so loved by others.

A beautiful heart, named Margaux.

A_Sister&Brother_BestFriends

Until next time, thanks for taking the time.

Mark

Mark Brodinsky, Author, Blogger, Speaker, Financial Services
Author: The #1 Best-Seller, It Takes 2. Surviving Breast Cancer: A Spouse’s Story
(http://www.spouses-story.com/)

Feel free to leave feedback, or comments on the blog. For suggestions for The Sunday Series, send an e-mail to markbrodinsky@gmail.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

Related

{total}Tweet
{total}+1
{total}Like
{total}Share
{total}Pin

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Top Posts & Pages

  • Life Is A Highway: Observations of Life
  • The Sunday Series (27), with Mark Brodinsky
  • A Rose Is A Rose: It's Just About... Life
  • The Sunday Series (123), with Mark Brodinsky
  • The Sunday Series (71), with Mark Brodinsky
  • Next Time in Heaven: It's Just About... Life
  • The Sunday Series (30), with Mark Brodinsky
  • The Higher Shelf!
  • About Mark Brodinsky
  • The Sunday Series (151), with Mark Brodinsky

Comments

  1. Gail Parker says

    January 11, 2015 at 8:42 am

    Another moving story that I so can relate to. It’s stories like this that helps my own healing process. You and your series has been the best medicine that anyone could prescribe. Your loyal fan.
    Gail

    Reply
    • markbrodinsky says

      January 11, 2015 at 8:45 am

      Gail, you touch my heart with your comment. Thank you and thank you for trusting me with your story. Keep healing.
      Mark

      Reply
  2. Sheila Weinberg says

    January 11, 2015 at 10:39 am

    Thanks for sharing. I hope one day it will help all of us. The Weinbrrg’s

    Reply
  3. Bonnie Brodinsky says

    January 11, 2015 at 3:05 pm

    We need never to forget how fleeting time can be and to always remember the love we have
    for each other. Your words always have such meaning and depth!

    Reply
  4. Bonnie Blas Kashnow says

    January 11, 2015 at 3:23 pm

    Beautiful and touching story. Yes, we definitely have to appreciate all those we hold so dear – every day! We never do know what tomorrow will bring.

    Reply
    • markbrodinsky says

      January 11, 2015 at 3:43 pm

      True Bonnie. Thanks for reading.

      Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Search over 500 posts, including The Sunday Series

Get all My Latest News & Offers
Introduce yourself with your name and email below

#1 Best Seller on Amazon

Click to order your copy today!

The Book Trailer

Mark Brodinsky
Emmy Award Winner, 1996

Ever thought about writing a book? check this out!

Blog Reviews

Love seeing new blogs hit the ground running like this one (by a dad no less), but I also urge anyone vaguely interested in blogging to stay tuned, I am. Good luck on your journey – glad that I am along for the ride.

Rachel Blaufeld

Great blog Mark! I always appreciate reading what you have to say. You are very gifted and talented and hopefully someday you’ll not just blog, but write a book.

 Stephen Koncurat

I’m definitely along for the ride. We’ve all seen how much damage the written word can inflict. More positive writers are needed. And I love how you are using your personal experiences – those with your wife and children – and your gift of writing to open eyes and to inspire others.

Victoria Endicott

Absolutely beautifully written! The girls in your life must be very proud of you. Thanks for sharing Mark, I look forward to reading more!

Gina Glick Jolson

Very shortly this site will be famous amid all blogging and site-building users, due to it’s pleasant posts.

Leila Galloway

Absolutely beautiful! Are you at all thinking of penning a book? You’ve got a fan base out there that really thinks you should Mark. You write so eloquently. Glad that I got onto this site.

Marilyn Lefkowitz

Mark, You are truly a gifted writer and obviously, a special father and husband . Always a delight to read your words.

I’m speechless…beautiful words flow from your heart just like a gentle waterfall into a tranquil stream… thank you so much for the friend request I was blessed the day I clicked confirm.

Lynne Turner Dorsey

From your first writing in 4th grade entitled “People” which was published in the school newspaper, you have always been able to write. Never more so than when you started “Caringbridge” and now your blog, everyone who reads says what a wonderful writer you are. Our DREAM for you is to become an author and encourage people every day. You are by the far the best and we hope and pray you reach your dream.

Bonnie Brodinsky

I know you always thank us for reading but I would like to say thanks for writing.

Stuart Abell

Great piece. You are an inspiration!

Rob Commodari

Mark I just wanted to let you know that you are succeeding in your “ultimate goal”. I have gained so much from your blogs. I look forward to reading them for the special lift that they give me. Thank you.

Amy F.

I love waking up and starting my day with my coffee and your blog! It a great way to start my day with positive uplifting thoughts!! It puts me in a positive frame of mind throughout the day and allows me to reflect on my personal life, make changes, and grow !!!

Gayle Blank

You are quite talented Mark. Thanks for sharing!

Cynthia

I always look forward to your Blog Mark. Thanks for sharing and as you always do, make it a great / remarkable Day!

Chuck Connolly

Thanks for your Blog Mark. It is fun, encouraging and a nice break from a day full of ups and downs.

Jackie Hetrick

With my busy schedule, there is (sadly) little time for reading. But I have two must-reads every time I come across them, the sports section and your blogs. Keep inspiring and following your dream!

Ed Nemec

Mark, you are a truly remarkable individual. You do speak from your heart, I can’t wait to read your book. You are an incredible writer.

Debbie Press

Mark, I am glad I clicked on your post this morning, which lead me to your writing, your goal.
Would like to connect. This speaks to me.

Aileen Braverman

I can’t wait to read the book. I have followed all the blogs and feel so good that I know u guys. You make me cry but you make me laugh too. All the very best to you!

Beverlee Rendelman

Connect with Mark!

  • Facebook
  • LinkedIn
  • Twitter

WOW!!! It Takes 2 is a must read for anyone who has known someone diagnosed with cancer or other life threatening disease. This is the real story of a family lead by an incredible woman, Debbie Brodinsky, who took radical steps to beat the breast cancer beast. The story is told by her husband, Mark Brodinsky, through journal entries he kept starting with diagnosis through one year cancer free. This author's unique ability to pour his heart out onto the page draws you in from the beginning and holds you until the very end.

Thanks to Mark and Debbie Brodinsky for this gift...I have a new perspective on what it means to be a breast cancer survivor. You are a hero, Debbie Brodinsky!

TeeBThree
September 25, 2013

ittakes2_reviews_2

This book gives a heartfelt, in depth description of what it is like to go through breast cancer with the one you love. It is beautifully written and I felt as though I was living it with them! I highly recommend this book!

Jgs17
September 24, 2013

ittakes2_reviews_2

In It Takes 2, Mark Brodinsky windows us into his world where his wife, the cancer patient, is not the only victim. Part journal, part roadmap, It Takes 2 goes to the real humanity of facing the mortality of one's better half. Mark's candid perspective, love, and fierce intention resonate with hope in a story which is about much more than cancer. Mark himself is perhaps the most heroic character for the way he appreciates this life and so many of us in it...as he says, "thanks for caring."

Réné Pallace
September 24, 2013

ittakes2_reviews_2

It Takes Two: A Spouse's Story by Mark Brodinsky should be read by every person who is experiencing serious illness or injury or by a loved one of someone who is experiencing either of those situations. The book is an eloquent testament to the power of love and the healing energy derived from the belief that things will get better. There is not one word of "poor me" from the author or his wife who suffered breast cancer and the radical surgery she elected to have to beat the cancer. Rather, the book is a celebration of the courage displayed by them both in seeing it through.

The book also encourages readers to speak and write down their true feelings and be validated in them. John Mackovic writing in the Palm Springs, CA Desert Sun on November 2, 2013 quoted author and artist Doe Zantamata who said, " To be happy, you don't have to do anything new. You just have to remember how to believe again...Believe everything good is possible. Believe in your dreams. Believe in people. Believe in love. But most of all...believe in yourself." The author, his wife, their family and extended family and friends never stopped believing in his wife's recovery, and I think, in themselves. Read this book and believe.

Paul A. Riecks
November 4, 2013

ittakes2_reviews_2

This book is a must read for anyone with a family member with breast cancer. It takes you through the spouse's perspective from diagnosis to recovery. Mark journaled his wife's journey and put all of his emotions out there. It is beautifully written and inspiring to anyone going through breast cancer. Thank you, Mark for sharing Debbie's story.

Jmu1109
October 23, 2013

ittakes2_reviews_2

A friend recommended this book. This was a great perspective of a man standing beside his partner and passing along to the reader fear, hope, useful information and a broader story than his own. I loved Vinnie the tattoo artist. This is a great book. Thanks for sharing, Mark and "thanks for caring"

Blahsan

ittakes2_reviews_2

This book is a must read. What sets this book apart from other books about surviving breast cancer is that it is told by the husband and his point of view, not from the survivor. At times sad, at times poignant but even through the worst of it you can always feel the love he has for his wife, her strength and the strength of their extended family and friends. The posts that are included from their friends and family lets you really into the heart and strength of the family. I would recommend this book to anyone who is currently going through this, whether you are the person or the caregiver. I also recommend this book to anyone who has a friend that has been or is currently going through their fight now. It was an eye opener for me.

L. Bogash
Seven Valleys, PA

ittakes2_reviews_2

There isn't a shortage of books about breast cancer, but most are written from the perspective of the person who has battled cancer or a physician or other expert. What an enlightening experience to read about breast cancer from a husband and caregiver's perspective! Not only does the author give us insight into his wife's experience and emotions, but he openly shares and reveals his love, compassion, support, and, yes, sometimes anger at the disease as he stands by his wife's side during their journey to beat the beast. Your story may not be the same, but I guarantee if you have a loved one battling cancer, you won't go wrong reading It Takes 2.

 PattiM
September 25, 2013

 

ittakes2_reviews_2

From the moment I opened this book I never stopped reading. Mark invites the reader to come along on this journey that his family went through. I cried, laughed and learned so much. This book will give comfort and knowledge to those going through similar situations. Most importantly, Mark and his family never give up. They get knocked down and get right back up. They fought cancer together and with their strength, determination and will to prevail... They do!

 Jenny Schloss 

Recent Comments

  • Patricia Storey on The Sunday Series (152), with Mark Brodinsky
  • markbrodinsky on The Sunday Series (152), with Mark Brodinsky
  • markbrodinsky on The Sunday Series (152), with Mark Brodinsky
  • Abby Scherr on The Sunday Series (152), with Mark Brodinsky
  • Sheila Hyman on The Sunday Series (152), with Mark Brodinsky

Shuffle In, Hearts Out: It’s Just About… Life.

The color Red. It means stop. It means anger. It means power. More importantly, it’s the color of your heart. And today, more than 2,000 hearts poured onto the streets of Baltimore to give their love, one step at a time, one foot in front of the other, all for one purpose… the kids. Anyone […]

Writing Wednesdays: Your Opinion, No Matter

Imagine for a moment I gave you a photograph, a still picture from your favorite movie. Not the movie, just a photo. Then I asked you to take that photo into a crowd of people and try to convince them that still picture was the whole movie. I mean point to the photo and say, “Wow, […]

Categories

  • Life
  • Sunday Series
  • Uncategorized

Pages

  • About Mark Brodinsky
  • Contact
  • Resources
  • Storytelling
  • The Higher Shelf!

Connect With Mark!

  • Facebook
  • LinkedIn
  • Twitter

Categories

© 2023 Life and The Sunday Series. All Rights Reserved.

Built Masterfully on WordPress and Maintained by the Blogging Experts