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The Sunday Series (24), with Mark Brodinsky

April 13, 2014 By markbrodinsky Leave a Comment

It’s nothing more than a muscle, a small part of your makeup which beats in rhythm to sustain life. Yet it holds so much significance, not just in its ability to exist at the core of your body, but at the very center of your being. Its physical importance can’t be denied, but it’s the light which emanates from that core that gives life meaning.

The Sunday Series (24): Heartlight

You could literally see his heart beating. Hayden lay there, his chest wide open, covered only with some light bandages, in critical condition. His parents sitting by his bedside throughout the night, with one single purpose, one single desire, one single prayer… please let Hayden live.

It was only a little more than four years before that moment Hayden Lazorchak was born, prematurely. But at 4-lbs, 12-ounces, he was a seemingly healthy preemie, at least for a day. That’s when doctors in the NICU discovered something was missing – half his heart. Hayden’s issue was never caught in-utero. An ultrasound about halfway through the pregnancy showed all four chambers. But somewhere between that midpoint and his birth about a month earlier than normal, something failed to develop, and within 24 hours of his entry into this world the doctors knew Hayden would embark on a rare journey, one shrouded in a dark cloud of doubt that it could even succeed.

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It’s called Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome. HLHS is a rare congenital heart defect in which the left ventricle of the heart is severely underdeveloped, basically the person has only half a functioning heart. In babies with HLHS, the aorta and left ventricle are underdeveloped before birth, and the aortic and mitral valves are too small to allow sufficient blood flow. For Hayden doctors said his best chance at survival would be three corrective surgeries, the first to begin immediately, the second at six months, the third a few years down the road. That’s the medical game plan. The reality is no one could be sure it would work, but there was little choice.

So having entered the world only hours before, Hayden was about to undergo major open heart surgery. His parents, Ali and Rob were given time with their newborn son, to hold him, to take photos, to be in the moment, because at that moment, the doctors were unsure Hayden would even make it.

But somehow he did.

The first emergency surgery was deemed a success. Though Hayden spent a month in the hospital, he was then allowed to come home.

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Ali says the challenge of taking care of a new life, even a “normal” baby, can be overwhelming, but add to that the task of caring for a baby having undergone open heart surgery and the real challenge becomes creating as normal an existence as possible, especially when you know what is looming around the corner, surgery number two.

Ali says the first surgery was a “whirlwind”, an immediate and necessary emergency procedure just to keep Hayden alive. But the second time around, Hayden was already six-months old, “we knew him”, says Ali, “this one was going to be so much harder.”

And it was.

Hayden was supposed to be in the hospital for a week, his stay lasted four months. During that time, and through a myriad of complications, Hayden suffered…including becoming addicted to pain killers. This tiny life, a little more than half-a-year old, was now an addict, forced to be put on methadone to help ween him off the pain drugs which the doctors were forced to give Hayden just to help him exist. He had also been intubated for so long now, Hayden didn’t even know how to eat on his own anymore. Physical and drug rehabilitation now became a part of this tiny baby’s existence.

They say God does not give you more than you can handle. Sometimes that is hard to believe. During the same period, Ali was forced to undergo an emergency open appendectomy, after her appendix ruptured when she and Rob were out one evening. Ali says for her family, especially for Rob, with his son suffering, his wife recovering from her own major surgery, it seemed like the world was teetering on the brink. But Ali recovered and then Hayden, still less than one-year-old, having survived his second surgery and his “rehabilitation”, eventually came home.

Except for the medications Hayden needed to take daily, Ali says life was, “really normal. We did everything normal families do.” They did, but the Lazorchak’s were doing even more. During Hayden’s second surgery stay, Ali and Rob decided they needed to give back and created a non-profit organization called Hayden’s Heart Heroes, with funds raised going directly to the pediatric cardiology division and the PICU at Johns Hopkins Hospital, where Hayden was being treated. Ali says when you are going through something like this there are “two roads to take. Get through it and then try to forget it, or so something about it. For us it was about doing and emotionally that’s where we were able to put our energy, it gave us direction.” (http://www.haydensheartheroes.com/)

For the next few years, the direction for the Lazorchak family was a positive one. Outside of the visits with their cardiologist Dr. Joel Brenner, and the daily medications, Hayden was living and growing just like a normal child. Ali says from the outside it was impossible to tell he had been through so much. That’s what made surgery number three, the final one the doctors told them about shortly after Hayden was born, so tough to take. “It was horrible for us”, says Ali, “unbelievably difficult because he was totally this little person. You already have all these connections. He loved to sing, loved to golf, it was so much different than when he was a baby, at four-years-old, it was so much more real and it was very hard to hand him over that day.”

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Hard quickly became an understatement. The prior surgeries had not been easy, this one ended up requiring a heart-lung bypass and the discovery of a tricuspid valve leakage. On the surgery table for ten hours, the doctors would come out to give updates to Ali and Rob, and none of them were positive. The doctors believed by that evening Hayden might need to go on full life support. Coming out of surgery that day Hayden’s chest remained opened because of a build-up of fluid, the doctors pumped him with diuretics for three full days. The rabbi who came to see Hayden nearly fainted when he saw the young boy lying there with his chest open, his heart visibly beating.

But in nothing short of a miracle the doctors were able to stabilize the young boy. They closed him up and after overcoming a few more complications, discussion of a heart transplant which Ali and Rob somehow convinced the doctors would not be needed, and more than a month in the hospital, Hayden finally came home.

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Hayden is now 9-years old and slowly over these past five years his heart function has steadily improved, his valve leakage is no longer an issue and doctors say his heart is the best its ever been. Hayden takes a daily dose of the blood thinner Cumadin, which he will do for the rest of his life, but Ali says to him all of this is normal. She and Rob have fought hard to make life normal for Hayden and for them and to continue to give back. Hayden’s Heart Heroes will hold its 9th golf tournament this June and the book fair this fall, and the foundation is about to hit the $100,000 mark in donations.

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In the end it’s all about heart. Whether it’s a half, a whole, or something in between. It’s not the heart muscle, but the light which emanates from its core, and touches all those who come in contact. For Ali and Rob it’s the glow of that light, Hayden’s light, now stronger than ever, which makes their own hearts shine ever brighter.

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Until next time thanks for taking the time,
Mark

Mark Brodinsky, Author, Blogger
It Takes 2. Surviving Breast Cancer: A Spouse’s Story
#1 Amazon Best-Seller
www.amazon.com/author/markbrodinsky

For feedback or ideas for The Sunday Series, send an e-mail to markbrodinsky@gmail.com

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Mark Brodinsky
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Blog Reviews

Love seeing new blogs hit the ground running like this one (by a dad no less), but I also urge anyone vaguely interested in blogging to stay tuned, I am. Good luck on your journey – glad that I am along for the ride.

Rachel Blaufeld

Great blog Mark! I always appreciate reading what you have to say. You are very gifted and talented and hopefully someday you’ll not just blog, but write a book.

 Stephen Koncurat

I’m definitely along for the ride. We’ve all seen how much damage the written word can inflict. More positive writers are needed. And I love how you are using your personal experiences – those with your wife and children – and your gift of writing to open eyes and to inspire others.

Victoria Endicott

Absolutely beautifully written! The girls in your life must be very proud of you. Thanks for sharing Mark, I look forward to reading more!

Gina Glick Jolson

Very shortly this site will be famous amid all blogging and site-building users, due to it’s pleasant posts.

Leila Galloway

Absolutely beautiful! Are you at all thinking of penning a book? You’ve got a fan base out there that really thinks you should Mark. You write so eloquently. Glad that I got onto this site.

Marilyn Lefkowitz

Mark, You are truly a gifted writer and obviously, a special father and husband . Always a delight to read your words.

I’m speechless…beautiful words flow from your heart just like a gentle waterfall into a tranquil stream… thank you so much for the friend request I was blessed the day I clicked confirm.

Lynne Turner Dorsey

From your first writing in 4th grade entitled “People” which was published in the school newspaper, you have always been able to write. Never more so than when you started “Caringbridge” and now your blog, everyone who reads says what a wonderful writer you are. Our DREAM for you is to become an author and encourage people every day. You are by the far the best and we hope and pray you reach your dream.

Bonnie Brodinsky

I know you always thank us for reading but I would like to say thanks for writing.

Stuart Abell

Great piece. You are an inspiration!

Rob Commodari

Mark I just wanted to let you know that you are succeeding in your “ultimate goal”. I have gained so much from your blogs. I look forward to reading them for the special lift that they give me. Thank you.

Amy F.

I love waking up and starting my day with my coffee and your blog! It a great way to start my day with positive uplifting thoughts!! It puts me in a positive frame of mind throughout the day and allows me to reflect on my personal life, make changes, and grow !!!

Gayle Blank

You are quite talented Mark. Thanks for sharing!

Cynthia

I always look forward to your Blog Mark. Thanks for sharing and as you always do, make it a great / remarkable Day!

Chuck Connolly

Thanks for your Blog Mark. It is fun, encouraging and a nice break from a day full of ups and downs.

Jackie Hetrick

With my busy schedule, there is (sadly) little time for reading. But I have two must-reads every time I come across them, the sports section and your blogs. Keep inspiring and following your dream!

Ed Nemec

Mark, you are a truly remarkable individual. You do speak from your heart, I can’t wait to read your book. You are an incredible writer.

Debbie Press

Mark, I am glad I clicked on your post this morning, which lead me to your writing, your goal.
Would like to connect. This speaks to me.

Aileen Braverman

I can’t wait to read the book. I have followed all the blogs and feel so good that I know u guys. You make me cry but you make me laugh too. All the very best to you!

Beverlee Rendelman

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WOW!!! It Takes 2 is a must read for anyone who has known someone diagnosed with cancer or other life threatening disease. This is the real story of a family lead by an incredible woman, Debbie Brodinsky, who took radical steps to beat the breast cancer beast. The story is told by her husband, Mark Brodinsky, through journal entries he kept starting with diagnosis through one year cancer free. This author's unique ability to pour his heart out onto the page draws you in from the beginning and holds you until the very end.

Thanks to Mark and Debbie Brodinsky for this gift...I have a new perspective on what it means to be a breast cancer survivor. You are a hero, Debbie Brodinsky!

TeeBThree
September 25, 2013

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This book gives a heartfelt, in depth description of what it is like to go through breast cancer with the one you love. It is beautifully written and I felt as though I was living it with them! I highly recommend this book!

Jgs17
September 24, 2013

ittakes2_reviews_2

In It Takes 2, Mark Brodinsky windows us into his world where his wife, the cancer patient, is not the only victim. Part journal, part roadmap, It Takes 2 goes to the real humanity of facing the mortality of one's better half. Mark's candid perspective, love, and fierce intention resonate with hope in a story which is about much more than cancer. Mark himself is perhaps the most heroic character for the way he appreciates this life and so many of us in it...as he says, "thanks for caring."

Réné Pallace
September 24, 2013

ittakes2_reviews_2

It Takes Two: A Spouse's Story by Mark Brodinsky should be read by every person who is experiencing serious illness or injury or by a loved one of someone who is experiencing either of those situations. The book is an eloquent testament to the power of love and the healing energy derived from the belief that things will get better. There is not one word of "poor me" from the author or his wife who suffered breast cancer and the radical surgery she elected to have to beat the cancer. Rather, the book is a celebration of the courage displayed by them both in seeing it through.

The book also encourages readers to speak and write down their true feelings and be validated in them. John Mackovic writing in the Palm Springs, CA Desert Sun on November 2, 2013 quoted author and artist Doe Zantamata who said, " To be happy, you don't have to do anything new. You just have to remember how to believe again...Believe everything good is possible. Believe in your dreams. Believe in people. Believe in love. But most of all...believe in yourself." The author, his wife, their family and extended family and friends never stopped believing in his wife's recovery, and I think, in themselves. Read this book and believe.

Paul A. Riecks
November 4, 2013

ittakes2_reviews_2

This book is a must read for anyone with a family member with breast cancer. It takes you through the spouse's perspective from diagnosis to recovery. Mark journaled his wife's journey and put all of his emotions out there. It is beautifully written and inspiring to anyone going through breast cancer. Thank you, Mark for sharing Debbie's story.

Jmu1109
October 23, 2013

ittakes2_reviews_2

A friend recommended this book. This was a great perspective of a man standing beside his partner and passing along to the reader fear, hope, useful information and a broader story than his own. I loved Vinnie the tattoo artist. This is a great book. Thanks for sharing, Mark and "thanks for caring"

Blahsan

ittakes2_reviews_2

This book is a must read. What sets this book apart from other books about surviving breast cancer is that it is told by the husband and his point of view, not from the survivor. At times sad, at times poignant but even through the worst of it you can always feel the love he has for his wife, her strength and the strength of their extended family and friends. The posts that are included from their friends and family lets you really into the heart and strength of the family. I would recommend this book to anyone who is currently going through this, whether you are the person or the caregiver. I also recommend this book to anyone who has a friend that has been or is currently going through their fight now. It was an eye opener for me.

L. Bogash
Seven Valleys, PA

ittakes2_reviews_2

There isn't a shortage of books about breast cancer, but most are written from the perspective of the person who has battled cancer or a physician or other expert. What an enlightening experience to read about breast cancer from a husband and caregiver's perspective! Not only does the author give us insight into his wife's experience and emotions, but he openly shares and reveals his love, compassion, support, and, yes, sometimes anger at the disease as he stands by his wife's side during their journey to beat the beast. Your story may not be the same, but I guarantee if you have a loved one battling cancer, you won't go wrong reading It Takes 2.

 PattiM
September 25, 2013

 

ittakes2_reviews_2

From the moment I opened this book I never stopped reading. Mark invites the reader to come along on this journey that his family went through. I cried, laughed and learned so much. This book will give comfort and knowledge to those going through similar situations. Most importantly, Mark and his family never give up. They get knocked down and get right back up. They fought cancer together and with their strength, determination and will to prevail... They do!

 Jenny Schloss 

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