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The Sunday Series (21), with Mark Brodinsky

March 23, 2014 By markbrodinsky Leave a Comment

sophie and emily

Sometimes it’s personal.

The Sunday Series (21): In Full Bloom, Again

The focus of this series, real stories, your stories is to provide perspective on life, through others who are showing us the way with their courage, hope and inspiration. My daughters do this every day by their very existence, because they have given me life’s most precious gift, the ability to experience unconditional love from the moment they arrived. Every kiss good morning, every hug good night, is the most simple reinforcement of a love which is truly beyond words.

They also teach me. And one year ago today, my oldest, Sophie, taught me one of my most important lessons, one so strong, it provided me not only the final inspiration but also the signature line for my book: “speak from the heart and everyone who has one will buy in.”

On Saturday, March 23rd 2013, Sophie demonstrated to more than 200 people in attendance, the meaning of that sentence. Men, women, children… most sitting there listening with tears in their eyes listening to my daughter, who that day, the day of her Bat Mitzvah, truly did step into another stage of life by showing maturity and deep emotion many will long remember and I won’t ever forget. That evening, in a speech she had crafted just days before, and I had never heard, she gratefully thanked nearly all of her close family and friends, those she believed in her heart, helped her get to this point in her life. It was so powerful and moving for her that when she got to the part about her grandfather, the deepest sense of loss in her young life, she needed the assistance of her tutor to move through it.

I am using this day, this Sunday, one year later to recap with a few links. At the time this blog, launched just a few months prior, was still in its infancy, and I took the opportunity to write down my own feelings about what was happening in our lives and what what turned into a trilogy of blogs that long weekend. It didn’t start out that way, but progressed into such in my mind and my heart, so I went with it. The first I titled, “The (Our) Rose”, the second, “In Full Bloom”, the third, “Don’t Stop Believing”.

Below I am providing the links to the first and the third blogs. I respect your time and your own existence, so if you choose to click on those and read them, wonderful, if not, that’s fine too. I believe they provide perspective on the story of that weekend, however, the second blog, “In Full Bloom”, stands on its own because it was the centerpiece of the experience. The event which touched so many lives and stands today, for me, as one of the most inspirational moments of these past twelve months.

The first blog, The (Our) Rose: (http://markbrodinsky.com/2013/03/23/the-our-rose-its-just-about-life/)
The third blog, Don’t Stop Believing: (http://markbrodinsky.com/2013/03/26/dont-stop-believing-its-just-about-life/)

And, the second: In Full Bloom, which I am re-posting below…

There was barely a dry eye in the room when Sophie Rose finished her thank you speech Saturday night. She had touched people’s hearts in a way that will long be remembered. There were hearts overflowing with joy and love, as she put an exclamation point on one of the most special events of our lives, and certainly of hers.

Sophie nailed it, without really even trying, because she owned it. Our daughter’s Bat Mitzvah ceremony was just that, her Bat Mitzvah ceremony. After her Torah portion and an explanation of what it all meant, she shared feelings that lay deep in her heart, about those who helped her make it this far in her life. At the ripe old age of 13, my girl connected to this moment in time like I have seen few do. Granted, I am her father, but from the testimonials I have received all day from other people who were sitting in the same room as I, Sophie connected with them too. She was simply remarkable. I watched her conduct herself with poise, grace and then in an instant, tears of appreciation, gratitude and love for those closest to her and for those who had been so close, but are no longer in this world, living only in her memory and in her heart.

She broke down, but then recovered and broke through to every heart in that room. There’s no way I can transcribe all the powerful words she said in those minutes, they were so meaningful and mature for someone who on certain days, I still view as so young, or maybe it’s just in my mind’s eye… wishing she was.

She had words of gratitude for so many, her tutor, her aunts and uncle, our neighbors, (who we consider our other family), her grandparents, cousins, myself, her mother Debbie and her sister, Emily. But maybe the most powerful words were the ones she wrote, but felt so strongly in the depths of her heart, she was unable to say out loud. Her tutor Lucia stepped up and stood by her side, to read what Sophie had written about her grandfather, her Poppy, who left us too soon, when Sophie was only nine years old:

“Poppy, here I am. It’s my big day. The night I wrote this, I came downstairs crying to my Mom about how I didn’t remember you enough. I remember you cooking us eggs, lox and onions in the morning. I remember the feeling of your prickly beard. I remember you sitting by the ocean while we collected seashells. But I think the only thing I need to remember is how much you loved us, and still do.”

From a young heart still stinging from the pain of loss for one she loved so much. Sophie recovered and was able to continue on to talk about her little sister: “Emily, I think you are so beautiful and the most energetic person I’ve ever met and you’re always smiling. You inspire me to look on the bright side of even the worst situations. I love you.”

To me: “Daddy, I think you are the most amazing man I have ever met, you’re so determined and hard-working and you are the person who taught me to never give up, which I think is the best thing a person could learn. I love you.”

To Debbie: “Mommy, I have no clue what I would do without you. You help me through every possible problem I could ever have. Even though you nose your way into every dramatic issue I have, you always help me out in the end. You are the strongest person I have ever met, knowing what you have been through. Thank you for working your butt off so I could have the best day of my life. I love you.”

“Last but not least I’d like to thank Adonai (God). I don’t know how it worked out, but you made me an amazing life. I am so blessed with all of these amazing people. Thank you for being the one thing that can never leave my heart. Amen.”

It was powerful and heartfelt and I held back my emotions the whole time, for fear of Sophie Rose looking down at me in the front row and seeing tears streaming down my face, only making it tougher for her. The tears are here now, hard to write and then read Sophie’s words without it happening. But there’s one thing I need to correct about what she said about Debbie and I. There’s a line I omitted from Sophie’s speech about us: “I think I have the best parents ever and I’d like to thank them for everything.”

The problem is my girl has got it all backward. It’s we, who are grateful to her, for becoming the person she is today. Just maybe we are doing something right along the way. These miracles don’t come with manuals, and it’s Sophie who has to take what she learns, and make it her own. From what I saw last night, she’s on her way.

I’ve been talking about it for months now. Gratitude, appreciation and love. It’s the hat trick and my beautiful daughter proved it, just ask anyone who was scrambling to find a tissue as she spoke, or sniffling their way through much of her ceremony. When you speak from the heart, everyone who has one, is all in.

I will leave you with this. Driving home this afternoon after a trip to the mall, the title of a song popped up on the screen of our satellite radio. It was a good one, a tune from a legend, Elton John. Before the lyrics began Debbie told Sophie to listen and to pay attention to the words and think about her ceremony.

The song? Can You Feel the Love Tonight.

Enough said.

Sophie classic picture

Until next time thanks for taking the time,
Mark Brodinsky

Mark Brodinsky, Author
It Takes 2. Surviving Breast Cancer: A Spouse’s Story
#1 Amazon Best-Seller
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For feedback, to share a story idea, or if you are looking for free-lance writing assistance, send an e-mail to markbrodinsky@gmail.com.

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Blog Reviews

Love seeing new blogs hit the ground running like this one (by a dad no less), but I also urge anyone vaguely interested in blogging to stay tuned, I am. Good luck on your journey – glad that I am along for the ride.

Rachel Blaufeld

Great blog Mark! I always appreciate reading what you have to say. You are very gifted and talented and hopefully someday you’ll not just blog, but write a book.

 Stephen Koncurat

I’m definitely along for the ride. We’ve all seen how much damage the written word can inflict. More positive writers are needed. And I love how you are using your personal experiences – those with your wife and children – and your gift of writing to open eyes and to inspire others.

Victoria Endicott

Absolutely beautifully written! The girls in your life must be very proud of you. Thanks for sharing Mark, I look forward to reading more!

Gina Glick Jolson

Very shortly this site will be famous amid all blogging and site-building users, due to it’s pleasant posts.

Leila Galloway

Absolutely beautiful! Are you at all thinking of penning a book? You’ve got a fan base out there that really thinks you should Mark. You write so eloquently. Glad that I got onto this site.

Marilyn Lefkowitz

Mark, You are truly a gifted writer and obviously, a special father and husband . Always a delight to read your words.

I’m speechless…beautiful words flow from your heart just like a gentle waterfall into a tranquil stream… thank you so much for the friend request I was blessed the day I clicked confirm.

Lynne Turner Dorsey

From your first writing in 4th grade entitled “People” which was published in the school newspaper, you have always been able to write. Never more so than when you started “Caringbridge” and now your blog, everyone who reads says what a wonderful writer you are. Our DREAM for you is to become an author and encourage people every day. You are by the far the best and we hope and pray you reach your dream.

Bonnie Brodinsky

I know you always thank us for reading but I would like to say thanks for writing.

Stuart Abell

Great piece. You are an inspiration!

Rob Commodari

Mark I just wanted to let you know that you are succeeding in your “ultimate goal”. I have gained so much from your blogs. I look forward to reading them for the special lift that they give me. Thank you.

Amy F.

I love waking up and starting my day with my coffee and your blog! It a great way to start my day with positive uplifting thoughts!! It puts me in a positive frame of mind throughout the day and allows me to reflect on my personal life, make changes, and grow !!!

Gayle Blank

You are quite talented Mark. Thanks for sharing!

Cynthia

I always look forward to your Blog Mark. Thanks for sharing and as you always do, make it a great / remarkable Day!

Chuck Connolly

Thanks for your Blog Mark. It is fun, encouraging and a nice break from a day full of ups and downs.

Jackie Hetrick

With my busy schedule, there is (sadly) little time for reading. But I have two must-reads every time I come across them, the sports section and your blogs. Keep inspiring and following your dream!

Ed Nemec

Mark, you are a truly remarkable individual. You do speak from your heart, I can’t wait to read your book. You are an incredible writer.

Debbie Press

Mark, I am glad I clicked on your post this morning, which lead me to your writing, your goal.
Would like to connect. This speaks to me.

Aileen Braverman

I can’t wait to read the book. I have followed all the blogs and feel so good that I know u guys. You make me cry but you make me laugh too. All the very best to you!

Beverlee Rendelman

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WOW!!! It Takes 2 is a must read for anyone who has known someone diagnosed with cancer or other life threatening disease. This is the real story of a family lead by an incredible woman, Debbie Brodinsky, who took radical steps to beat the breast cancer beast. The story is told by her husband, Mark Brodinsky, through journal entries he kept starting with diagnosis through one year cancer free. This author's unique ability to pour his heart out onto the page draws you in from the beginning and holds you until the very end.

Thanks to Mark and Debbie Brodinsky for this gift...I have a new perspective on what it means to be a breast cancer survivor. You are a hero, Debbie Brodinsky!

TeeBThree
September 25, 2013

ittakes2_reviews_2

This book gives a heartfelt, in depth description of what it is like to go through breast cancer with the one you love. It is beautifully written and I felt as though I was living it with them! I highly recommend this book!

Jgs17
September 24, 2013

ittakes2_reviews_2

In It Takes 2, Mark Brodinsky windows us into his world where his wife, the cancer patient, is not the only victim. Part journal, part roadmap, It Takes 2 goes to the real humanity of facing the mortality of one's better half. Mark's candid perspective, love, and fierce intention resonate with hope in a story which is about much more than cancer. Mark himself is perhaps the most heroic character for the way he appreciates this life and so many of us in it...as he says, "thanks for caring."

Réné Pallace
September 24, 2013

ittakes2_reviews_2

It Takes Two: A Spouse's Story by Mark Brodinsky should be read by every person who is experiencing serious illness or injury or by a loved one of someone who is experiencing either of those situations. The book is an eloquent testament to the power of love and the healing energy derived from the belief that things will get better. There is not one word of "poor me" from the author or his wife who suffered breast cancer and the radical surgery she elected to have to beat the cancer. Rather, the book is a celebration of the courage displayed by them both in seeing it through.

The book also encourages readers to speak and write down their true feelings and be validated in them. John Mackovic writing in the Palm Springs, CA Desert Sun on November 2, 2013 quoted author and artist Doe Zantamata who said, " To be happy, you don't have to do anything new. You just have to remember how to believe again...Believe everything good is possible. Believe in your dreams. Believe in people. Believe in love. But most of all...believe in yourself." The author, his wife, their family and extended family and friends never stopped believing in his wife's recovery, and I think, in themselves. Read this book and believe.

Paul A. Riecks
November 4, 2013

ittakes2_reviews_2

This book is a must read for anyone with a family member with breast cancer. It takes you through the spouse's perspective from diagnosis to recovery. Mark journaled his wife's journey and put all of his emotions out there. It is beautifully written and inspiring to anyone going through breast cancer. Thank you, Mark for sharing Debbie's story.

Jmu1109
October 23, 2013

ittakes2_reviews_2

A friend recommended this book. This was a great perspective of a man standing beside his partner and passing along to the reader fear, hope, useful information and a broader story than his own. I loved Vinnie the tattoo artist. This is a great book. Thanks for sharing, Mark and "thanks for caring"

Blahsan

ittakes2_reviews_2

This book is a must read. What sets this book apart from other books about surviving breast cancer is that it is told by the husband and his point of view, not from the survivor. At times sad, at times poignant but even through the worst of it you can always feel the love he has for his wife, her strength and the strength of their extended family and friends. The posts that are included from their friends and family lets you really into the heart and strength of the family. I would recommend this book to anyone who is currently going through this, whether you are the person or the caregiver. I also recommend this book to anyone who has a friend that has been or is currently going through their fight now. It was an eye opener for me.

L. Bogash
Seven Valleys, PA

ittakes2_reviews_2

There isn't a shortage of books about breast cancer, but most are written from the perspective of the person who has battled cancer or a physician or other expert. What an enlightening experience to read about breast cancer from a husband and caregiver's perspective! Not only does the author give us insight into his wife's experience and emotions, but he openly shares and reveals his love, compassion, support, and, yes, sometimes anger at the disease as he stands by his wife's side during their journey to beat the beast. Your story may not be the same, but I guarantee if you have a loved one battling cancer, you won't go wrong reading It Takes 2.

 PattiM
September 25, 2013

 

ittakes2_reviews_2

From the moment I opened this book I never stopped reading. Mark invites the reader to come along on this journey that his family went through. I cried, laughed and learned so much. This book will give comfort and knowledge to those going through similar situations. Most importantly, Mark and his family never give up. They get knocked down and get right back up. They fought cancer together and with their strength, determination and will to prevail... They do!

 Jenny Schloss 

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