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The Sunday Series (17), with Mark Brodinsky

February 23, 2014 By markbrodinsky 5 Comments

Craig with cigar

Putting life in perspective.

Stories of hope, courage and inspiration.

The Sunday Series (17): Hold Onto My Heart

It happens every day, though we frequently don’t notice, or are simply not aware. A light is kindled, another extinguished. One soul enters this world, another exits.

Light, life and Craig Wehrle, a perfect match. Craig grabbed onto life with both hands and gave it everything he had. Navy man, businessman, mason, sailor, hunter, father, grandfather, uncle, friend, soul mate. Gail Parker knows all about what made Craig “dynamic, powerful and alive”, she spent two decades by his side. The two brought their respective families together in perfect harmony. Though Craig and Gail never married, it wasn’t because they didn’t want to.

Life just got in the way.

A visit to the podiatrist because of a blister on Craig’s toe led to a referral to a vascular doctor and eventually a neurologist. Tests run, results deciphered, the doctor said Craig had peripheral neuropathy, a condition which can distort and sometimes interrupt messages between the brain and the rest of the body. The doctor put Craig on steroids. It was a Band-Aid for what was ailing him, but the journey inside the journey of Craig’s life was now underway.

craig on the beach
Gail & Craig

A tough man, a war veteran, Craig Wehrle served for the Navy in Vietnam. At one point, spending four solid months in a submarine. His experience taught him to love the water and when he left the Navy, he was ready to sail again. Craig bought a 32-foot Morgan (built by the legendary Charles Morgan), called Lulu, named after the cartoon character Little Lulu. For Craig and for Gail the open waters were magic. They both loved to sail and spent a tremendous amount of time with Lulu, riding her and working on her.

lulu
Lulu

But as the illness took a turn and the “drop-foot” started for Craig, the sailing started to subside. From experiencing trouble with his foot, to walking with a cane and then to a walker, Craig’s mobility was waning. Eventually Gail bought Craig a scooter chair so he could get around quickly, it was important, it was necessary, because besides his love of the water, Craig also loved something else…to work, to provide.

A mechanical engineer by trade, Craig ran his own business then sold it and went into property management, eventually managing a 33-story high-rise, the Penthouse Condominium in Towson, Maryland. The position was not for the weak of heart, nor for someone without stamina, because dealing with more than 300 affluent condo owners, Craig rarely sat still. It wasn’t part of his DNA anyway, he loved not only to sail, but to hunt and to be part of the Masons fraternity. Craig was the Grand Master of his lodge, Liberty 219 Grand Lodge of Mason. For those who might not know, the main principles of Freemasonry insist that each member show tolerance, respect and kindness in his actions toward others; practices charity and care for the community as a whole; and strives to achieve high moral standards in his own personal life. The Masons, their mission, the opportunity to care and give back fit Craig to a tee.

masons
Liberty #219, Grand Lodge of Mason

What didn’t fit with Gail was what was happening to Craig. A man so mobile, so agile, so strong, now had trouble even climbing the stairs. The doctors Craig was working with to battle their diagnosis of neuropathy said they were having success using chemotherapy as a treatment. Gail and Craig were planning to take a trip, they had purchased the airline tickets, ready to go to overseas to Italy, and to get married. But the couple, searching for a ray of light, hoping to improve Craig’s lot in life, canceled the trip and decided to give chemo a try. The first round of chemotherapy, every Friday for ten weeks, brought what the couple believed to be a glimmer of hope, some feeling, some tingling in Craig’s left leg. But not much more. The second round of chemo beat him down. Gail says Craig couldn’t do much more than sleep and still find a way to get to work.

Gail says watching Craig simply get to his car in the morning was tough enough: “A man who was so agile, a sailor, if you saw the things he did on the sailboat, handle the lines, climb up and down the mast and now he was having a hard time just walking to his car. It broke my heart.” Gail decided what the doctors were doing wasn’t working and she was going to take action. Talking with Gail Parker, you can tell she’s a woman of action.

craig and entire family

Gail searched and got in contact with Dr. Vinay Chaudhry of Johns Hopkins. She secured an appointment four months down the road. Gail wanted more information, more help, willing to do whatever it took to find a way to help Craig get better. But time was not on their side. Is it really for any of us? The one thing in life which is completely out of our control, though we search in vain for ways to make time stand still, especially when someone we love is failing…to stop the precious moments from ticking away. Craig was getting worse and by July of 2012 the powers that be told Craig his work in property management was over.

September 17th of that same year, Gail and Craig and their respective families met Dr. Chaudhry. After a nerve connectivity test the doctor asked them a question, one which would bring hope to an end. Dr. Chaudhry, a Professor of Neurology, had a few areas of expertise, one of those was dealing with Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis. “Did anyone talk to you about ALS?”, Dr. Chaudhry asked the family. Gail said the other doctors told her multiple times Craig’s condition was not ALS, it was peripheral neuropathy, which is why they had been searching for treatment to improve his life. Dr. Chaudhry said not only was this ALS, it was aggressive. Hope – which Craig, Gail and their respective families held onto was no longer the word of the day. The focus now was hospice, hospice at home.

Gail says Craig told her, “I don’t want to leave you, but I don’t want to live like this and put you through this. I can’t walk for myself, I can’t care for myself and I don’t want to put you and the family through this.” On December 22nd, just three months after official diagnosis of ALS, Craig was gone.

craig in picture of family
Memories

Gail still harbors anger saying she has little faith in the medical system, believing Craig was put through the mill with misdiagnosis, mishandled and because of all of this the family had little time to prepare for the inevitable. But Gail is also giving back for good. She says the MDA, The Muscular Dystrophy Association, reached out during Craig’s ordeal and Gail has formed Team Craig for the annual walk. Last year she raised $6,000, second most of any team which participated and this year she is striving to be the number one fundraising team for the MDA. The goal, to find a cure for one of the most debilitating of diseases. http://mda.org/?gclid=CIr26o-l4rwCFcY7OgodfwEA3A

MDA team
Team Craig

Gail and Craig’s son Jason have also gotten his beloved boat Lulu back in the water, renamed her Lulu Ann, for Gail’s middle name and the middle name of Craig’s granddaughter Morgan. They plan to spread Craig’s ashes along some of the places Craig and Gail visited together along the Chesapeake.

lulu ann
Lulu Ann

Gail now sails through life without her partner saying she is, “haunted by the experience. But the goodness that comes out of something like this is the family and strength of the family I still have by my side, we’ve continued a very strong bond and that’s wonderful,” says Gail. Part of that family and extended family are Gail’s nephew Jason and his wife, Xian. On December 22nd, Jason and Xian, about to have their first child, came to visit Craig in the hospital. Craig had been overjoyed for his nephew and niece and their impending bundle of joy. On the day he died, Craig was heavily medicated, nearly in a coma, the sight upset Xian, and upon returning home, her water broke. She gave birth to Hailey that same day.

Hailey
Hailey

Gail says she learned of the news and received pictures on her phone. Gail climbed into the hospital bed with Craig, spoke to him, let him know Jason and Xien had a baby girl, named Hailey. She asked Craig to open his eyes to see, Gail says she thought he did, saw them flutter, but she knows he heard her and the announcement. At 7:11, exactly two hours after learning of the news of Hailey’s birth, Craig took his final breath.

A light kindled, a light extinguished. A soul entering this world, a soul exiting. Such is life, it happens more often than we know.

plotkin and baby
A New Light Shines…

craig at the grill
A Light to be Remembered…

Until next time thanks for taking the time,

Mark

Mark Brodinsky
Author, It Takes 2. Surviving Breast Cancer: A Spouse’s Story
#1 Amazon Best-Seller
www.amazon.com/author/markbrodinsky
markbrodinsky@gmail.com
(For feedback, or to share a story for the Sunday Series, please send an e-mail to markbrodinsky@gmail.com)

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Comments

  1. Gail says

    February 23, 2014 at 10:28 am

    Mark you captured Craig and Our Story beautifully. I am indebted to you for the creativity you have. Thank you.
    Gail

    Reply
    • Mark Brodinsky says

      February 23, 2014 at 10:58 am

      Thank you for the kind words. Keep the good fight going with MDA and keep Craig’s spirit alive.

      Reply
  2. Haralee says

    February 23, 2014 at 11:56 am

    What a lovely story. I feel after reading that I knew Craig and share with Gail in her loss.

    Reply
    • Mark Brodinsky says

      February 23, 2014 at 12:34 pm

      Thank you Haralee.

      Reply
  3. Chuck Connolly says

    August 17, 2014 at 9:41 pm

    Thanks for sharing Gail and Jason! RIP Craig!

    Reply

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Love seeing new blogs hit the ground running like this one (by a dad no less), but I also urge anyone vaguely interested in blogging to stay tuned, I am. Good luck on your journey – glad that I am along for the ride.

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Great blog Mark! I always appreciate reading what you have to say. You are very gifted and talented and hopefully someday you’ll not just blog, but write a book.

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I’m definitely along for the ride. We’ve all seen how much damage the written word can inflict. More positive writers are needed. And I love how you are using your personal experiences – those with your wife and children – and your gift of writing to open eyes and to inspire others.

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Absolutely beautifully written! The girls in your life must be very proud of you. Thanks for sharing Mark, I look forward to reading more!

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Very shortly this site will be famous amid all blogging and site-building users, due to it’s pleasant posts.

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Absolutely beautiful! Are you at all thinking of penning a book? You’ve got a fan base out there that really thinks you should Mark. You write so eloquently. Glad that I got onto this site.

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Mark, You are truly a gifted writer and obviously, a special father and husband . Always a delight to read your words.

I’m speechless…beautiful words flow from your heart just like a gentle waterfall into a tranquil stream… thank you so much for the friend request I was blessed the day I clicked confirm.

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From your first writing in 4th grade entitled “People” which was published in the school newspaper, you have always been able to write. Never more so than when you started “Caringbridge” and now your blog, everyone who reads says what a wonderful writer you are. Our DREAM for you is to become an author and encourage people every day. You are by the far the best and we hope and pray you reach your dream.

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I know you always thank us for reading but I would like to say thanks for writing.

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Great piece. You are an inspiration!

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With my busy schedule, there is (sadly) little time for reading. But I have two must-reads every time I come across them, the sports section and your blogs. Keep inspiring and following your dream!

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WOW!!! It Takes 2 is a must read for anyone who has known someone diagnosed with cancer or other life threatening disease. This is the real story of a family lead by an incredible woman, Debbie Brodinsky, who took radical steps to beat the breast cancer beast. The story is told by her husband, Mark Brodinsky, through journal entries he kept starting with diagnosis through one year cancer free. This author's unique ability to pour his heart out onto the page draws you in from the beginning and holds you until the very end.

Thanks to Mark and Debbie Brodinsky for this gift...I have a new perspective on what it means to be a breast cancer survivor. You are a hero, Debbie Brodinsky!

TeeBThree
September 25, 2013

ittakes2_reviews_2

This book gives a heartfelt, in depth description of what it is like to go through breast cancer with the one you love. It is beautifully written and I felt as though I was living it with them! I highly recommend this book!

Jgs17
September 24, 2013

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In It Takes 2, Mark Brodinsky windows us into his world where his wife, the cancer patient, is not the only victim. Part journal, part roadmap, It Takes 2 goes to the real humanity of facing the mortality of one's better half. Mark's candid perspective, love, and fierce intention resonate with hope in a story which is about much more than cancer. Mark himself is perhaps the most heroic character for the way he appreciates this life and so many of us in it...as he says, "thanks for caring."

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September 24, 2013

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It Takes Two: A Spouse's Story by Mark Brodinsky should be read by every person who is experiencing serious illness or injury or by a loved one of someone who is experiencing either of those situations. The book is an eloquent testament to the power of love and the healing energy derived from the belief that things will get better. There is not one word of "poor me" from the author or his wife who suffered breast cancer and the radical surgery she elected to have to beat the cancer. Rather, the book is a celebration of the courage displayed by them both in seeing it through.

The book also encourages readers to speak and write down their true feelings and be validated in them. John Mackovic writing in the Palm Springs, CA Desert Sun on November 2, 2013 quoted author and artist Doe Zantamata who said, " To be happy, you don't have to do anything new. You just have to remember how to believe again...Believe everything good is possible. Believe in your dreams. Believe in people. Believe in love. But most of all...believe in yourself." The author, his wife, their family and extended family and friends never stopped believing in his wife's recovery, and I think, in themselves. Read this book and believe.

Paul A. Riecks
November 4, 2013

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This book is a must read for anyone with a family member with breast cancer. It takes you through the spouse's perspective from diagnosis to recovery. Mark journaled his wife's journey and put all of his emotions out there. It is beautifully written and inspiring to anyone going through breast cancer. Thank you, Mark for sharing Debbie's story.

Jmu1109
October 23, 2013

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A friend recommended this book. This was a great perspective of a man standing beside his partner and passing along to the reader fear, hope, useful information and a broader story than his own. I loved Vinnie the tattoo artist. This is a great book. Thanks for sharing, Mark and "thanks for caring"

Blahsan

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This book is a must read. What sets this book apart from other books about surviving breast cancer is that it is told by the husband and his point of view, not from the survivor. At times sad, at times poignant but even through the worst of it you can always feel the love he has for his wife, her strength and the strength of their extended family and friends. The posts that are included from their friends and family lets you really into the heart and strength of the family. I would recommend this book to anyone who is currently going through this, whether you are the person or the caregiver. I also recommend this book to anyone who has a friend that has been or is currently going through their fight now. It was an eye opener for me.

L. Bogash
Seven Valleys, PA

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There isn't a shortage of books about breast cancer, but most are written from the perspective of the person who has battled cancer or a physician or other expert. What an enlightening experience to read about breast cancer from a husband and caregiver's perspective! Not only does the author give us insight into his wife's experience and emotions, but he openly shares and reveals his love, compassion, support, and, yes, sometimes anger at the disease as he stands by his wife's side during their journey to beat the beast. Your story may not be the same, but I guarantee if you have a loved one battling cancer, you won't go wrong reading It Takes 2.

 PattiM
September 25, 2013

 

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From the moment I opened this book I never stopped reading. Mark invites the reader to come along on this journey that his family went through. I cried, laughed and learned so much. This book will give comfort and knowledge to those going through similar situations. Most importantly, Mark and his family never give up. They get knocked down and get right back up. They fought cancer together and with their strength, determination and will to prevail... They do!

 Jenny Schloss 

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