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The Dash, A Dot, The Circle: It’s Just About… Life.

June 24, 2013 By markbrodinsky 2 Comments

grant funeral picture 2

I’m sure you have heard the expression about life coming full circle, this past weekend, I lived it all in one day. In less than one day. A day I won’t soon forget, a moment in time, a lesson in life.

“Say the name, Grant Kinkade. No I mean it, say the name, Grant Kinkade.”

That’s how New York Life Financial Adviser Frank Chiovaro opened his remarks during the funeral for Senior Partner Grant Kinkade. Frank said if all of us who are living will keep saying Grant’s name and talk to other people about him, then until we take our last breaths, Grant will forever live on forever in our hearts, in our minds. Talk about Grant and his life. As his friend Scott Cole said, talk about Grant and his Dash. Ever hear of The Dash? I’m sure many of you have. It’s a thought-provoking poem, and one worth reading. The link to the poem by Linda Ellis:
http://lindaellis.net/the-dash/

The ceremony to say farewell to Grant Kinkade was one of the most beautiful I have ever attended, complete with singing and a video montage so moving and so heart-breaking. And yet it was simply a dot on The Dash for Grant. His life, his book has been written, now it is our duty to continue to tell his story. To re-live his Dash so the world might never forget… thousands of moments, of tiny dots comprising his Dash. As a father, husband, co-worker and friend.

And speaking of friend, as I walked out of the church on Saturday I felt my phone buzz. It was a Facebook reminder to wish a friend a Happy Birthday. That friend is Ed Nemec, the Managing Partner of my firm, who on this day, on his birthday, was burying one of his close friends, and co-workers, Grant Kinkade. It’s not supposed to be like this. Unfortunately, it’s life, doing what life does… sometimes. In the span of a few moments, I had gone from witnessing death to finding a way to commemorate a birth. On a day like that day, a Happy Birthday seemed out of place, so I modified it in my Facebook post: “On the toughest of days, I still wish you a Happy Birthday. The date will connect you and your good friend for all time. G-d bless.”
This day, a dot on Ed Nemec’s Dash, one which will mark a solemn time, yet at the same time celebrate the day of his birth, a dot to stand out bigger than most along his way.

ed nemec

Within a few hours, I was with my wife Debbie, driving over the Bay Bridge for a wedding for the son of our good friends, Gary & Beth Dahne. Their son Jason and his fiance’ Emily, to be married early that evening. The wedding, outdoors, on the sun-kissed shores of the Chesapeake Bay, with the wind blowing, and beautiful blue skies overhead, was simply breathtaking. A gorgeous bride, a handsome groom and plenty of love in the air. I could feel a sense of peace and happiness, sitting there next to my bride and watching two people, vowing to create a bond and create a family from that moment, until eternity, and beyond. It was an incredible setting as we watched the sun set shortly after the ceremony and the super moon rise in the sky as daylight gave way to night.

dahne wedding

The wedding ceremony wrapped up that evening at 11pm. Just thirteen hours earlier, Grant’s funeral had begun. For anyone who has followed this blog, from the day I launched it on my daughter Sophie’s thirteenth birthday back on January 9th, knows how significant this number has been in our lives. I was once again struck at how it keeps coming back into the most important moments of our existence. In this instance, I had been through an entire cycle of life, from mourning death, to commemorating birth, to celebrating the union of two people in wedded bliss. Life, full circle, all in the span of one day, in thirteen hours. Unbelievable.

Sometimes the human heart and spirit can only handle so much. This day my heart was exhausted, from sorrow to celebration, it had been broken and repaired, broken and repaired. I was excited for Jason and Emily and their new life together, but my as I fell asleep my mind kept going back to thoughts of the Kinkade family and their time ahead. They will need all the love and support possible, as only time can provide any closure. And while time seems to speed by, at times, it moves achingly slow. This is one of those times.

grant kinkade

For me the enduring image of the day, and one I will carry through my life, was one of such great tenderness and love. As those in attendance walked out of the church that morning, to the lyrics of “Let it Be” by the Beatles, I glanced back at the front of the room. There stood Grant’s wife Penny, leaning over his open casket, softly speaking to him to say her final farewell. I couldn’t hear her words, but I could see the incredible expression of love on her face and in her eyes. That image will stay with me for all the days of my life.

The day, a dot on my own Dash, inside the circle of life.

Until next time, thanks for taking the time.

Mark

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Comments

  1. Frank says

    June 26, 2013 at 11:25 pm

    tears.

    Reply
    • Mark Brodinsky says

      June 27, 2013 at 6:26 am

      Frank you displayed incredible poise that morning.

      Reply

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Love seeing new blogs hit the ground running like this one (by a dad no less), but I also urge anyone vaguely interested in blogging to stay tuned, I am. Good luck on your journey – glad that I am along for the ride.

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Great blog Mark! I always appreciate reading what you have to say. You are very gifted and talented and hopefully someday you’ll not just blog, but write a book.

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I’m definitely along for the ride. We’ve all seen how much damage the written word can inflict. More positive writers are needed. And I love how you are using your personal experiences – those with your wife and children – and your gift of writing to open eyes and to inspire others.

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Absolutely beautifully written! The girls in your life must be very proud of you. Thanks for sharing Mark, I look forward to reading more!

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Very shortly this site will be famous amid all blogging and site-building users, due to it’s pleasant posts.

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Absolutely beautiful! Are you at all thinking of penning a book? You’ve got a fan base out there that really thinks you should Mark. You write so eloquently. Glad that I got onto this site.

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Mark, You are truly a gifted writer and obviously, a special father and husband . Always a delight to read your words.

I’m speechless…beautiful words flow from your heart just like a gentle waterfall into a tranquil stream… thank you so much for the friend request I was blessed the day I clicked confirm.

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From your first writing in 4th grade entitled “People” which was published in the school newspaper, you have always been able to write. Never more so than when you started “Caringbridge” and now your blog, everyone who reads says what a wonderful writer you are. Our DREAM for you is to become an author and encourage people every day. You are by the far the best and we hope and pray you reach your dream.

Bonnie Brodinsky

I know you always thank us for reading but I would like to say thanks for writing.

Stuart Abell

Great piece. You are an inspiration!

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Mark I just wanted to let you know that you are succeeding in your “ultimate goal”. I have gained so much from your blogs. I look forward to reading them for the special lift that they give me. Thank you.

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I love waking up and starting my day with my coffee and your blog! It a great way to start my day with positive uplifting thoughts!! It puts me in a positive frame of mind throughout the day and allows me to reflect on my personal life, make changes, and grow !!!

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I always look forward to your Blog Mark. Thanks for sharing and as you always do, make it a great / remarkable Day!

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Thanks for your Blog Mark. It is fun, encouraging and a nice break from a day full of ups and downs.

Jackie Hetrick

With my busy schedule, there is (sadly) little time for reading. But I have two must-reads every time I come across them, the sports section and your blogs. Keep inspiring and following your dream!

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WOW!!! It Takes 2 is a must read for anyone who has known someone diagnosed with cancer or other life threatening disease. This is the real story of a family lead by an incredible woman, Debbie Brodinsky, who took radical steps to beat the breast cancer beast. The story is told by her husband, Mark Brodinsky, through journal entries he kept starting with diagnosis through one year cancer free. This author's unique ability to pour his heart out onto the page draws you in from the beginning and holds you until the very end.

Thanks to Mark and Debbie Brodinsky for this gift...I have a new perspective on what it means to be a breast cancer survivor. You are a hero, Debbie Brodinsky!

TeeBThree
September 25, 2013

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This book gives a heartfelt, in depth description of what it is like to go through breast cancer with the one you love. It is beautifully written and I felt as though I was living it with them! I highly recommend this book!

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September 24, 2013

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In It Takes 2, Mark Brodinsky windows us into his world where his wife, the cancer patient, is not the only victim. Part journal, part roadmap, It Takes 2 goes to the real humanity of facing the mortality of one's better half. Mark's candid perspective, love, and fierce intention resonate with hope in a story which is about much more than cancer. Mark himself is perhaps the most heroic character for the way he appreciates this life and so many of us in it...as he says, "thanks for caring."

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September 24, 2013

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It Takes Two: A Spouse's Story by Mark Brodinsky should be read by every person who is experiencing serious illness or injury or by a loved one of someone who is experiencing either of those situations. The book is an eloquent testament to the power of love and the healing energy derived from the belief that things will get better. There is not one word of "poor me" from the author or his wife who suffered breast cancer and the radical surgery she elected to have to beat the cancer. Rather, the book is a celebration of the courage displayed by them both in seeing it through.

The book also encourages readers to speak and write down their true feelings and be validated in them. John Mackovic writing in the Palm Springs, CA Desert Sun on November 2, 2013 quoted author and artist Doe Zantamata who said, " To be happy, you don't have to do anything new. You just have to remember how to believe again...Believe everything good is possible. Believe in your dreams. Believe in people. Believe in love. But most of all...believe in yourself." The author, his wife, their family and extended family and friends never stopped believing in his wife's recovery, and I think, in themselves. Read this book and believe.

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November 4, 2013

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This book is a must read for anyone with a family member with breast cancer. It takes you through the spouse's perspective from diagnosis to recovery. Mark journaled his wife's journey and put all of his emotions out there. It is beautifully written and inspiring to anyone going through breast cancer. Thank you, Mark for sharing Debbie's story.

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October 23, 2013

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A friend recommended this book. This was a great perspective of a man standing beside his partner and passing along to the reader fear, hope, useful information and a broader story than his own. I loved Vinnie the tattoo artist. This is a great book. Thanks for sharing, Mark and "thanks for caring"

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This book is a must read. What sets this book apart from other books about surviving breast cancer is that it is told by the husband and his point of view, not from the survivor. At times sad, at times poignant but even through the worst of it you can always feel the love he has for his wife, her strength and the strength of their extended family and friends. The posts that are included from their friends and family lets you really into the heart and strength of the family. I would recommend this book to anyone who is currently going through this, whether you are the person or the caregiver. I also recommend this book to anyone who has a friend that has been or is currently going through their fight now. It was an eye opener for me.

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There isn't a shortage of books about breast cancer, but most are written from the perspective of the person who has battled cancer or a physician or other expert. What an enlightening experience to read about breast cancer from a husband and caregiver's perspective! Not only does the author give us insight into his wife's experience and emotions, but he openly shares and reveals his love, compassion, support, and, yes, sometimes anger at the disease as he stands by his wife's side during their journey to beat the beast. Your story may not be the same, but I guarantee if you have a loved one battling cancer, you won't go wrong reading It Takes 2.

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September 25, 2013

 

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From the moment I opened this book I never stopped reading. Mark invites the reader to come along on this journey that his family went through. I cried, laughed and learned so much. This book will give comfort and knowledge to those going through similar situations. Most importantly, Mark and his family never give up. They get knocked down and get right back up. They fought cancer together and with their strength, determination and will to prevail... They do!

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