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The Sunday Series (139), with Mark Brodinsky

February 19, 2017 By markbrodinsky 2 Comments

There’s this journey we call life. It is a miracle. You are given this one chance and you must own it. Ownership means responsibility. Yet on any given day we fail in our responsibility – one which God has literally empowered us to do – which is to LIVE life.

Living means giving. Giving means becoming the very best version of ourselves so that we can have more to give each and every day.

A successful life is in the details – those details make up the sum of your parts here on earth – they create your journey and they form your story. Share yours and we all win, which means life wins as well.

Everyone has a story.

I am Mark Brodinsky and this is The Sunday Series.


The Sunday Series (139): A Sense of Peace

Do you want to know a secret?

For a long time Jim White kept his locked inside, even from those who know him best, not out of shame, just because there seemed to be no reason to share… he had long ago overcome. His life is in a good place of faith and of love. He is already viewed and respected as a leader and a giver. What reason would there be to reveal more? Why would he share any weakness or setback he faced?

Why? Because when we do, when we share our vulnerability and the details of our journey we give others permission to do the same. The more we know about each other, the more we can accept each other for who we truly are.

For Jim it’s truly a celebration. At the time in his life he faced the demon it was a death sentence. Yet now here he stands 40-years removed from the moment he was told he had won.

Remission.

“At nine-years-old I was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s Disease,” says Jim.  That was 1971 and back then there wasn’t a ton of hope. My parents were told I had two good years left. Back then cancer was a big secret, most people felt like it was a death sentence and other people could catch it, it was contagious. It was something you didn’t talk about.”

It was such a “big secret” even Jim’s parents kept it from their young son. “My own parents didn’t even tell me until a year or so into the diagnosis,” says Jim. “It wasn’t until I went to scout camp and would have to go to the first-aid facility for daily treatments that my mom got worried someone else might tell me I had cancer. I only knew I was sick, but up until that point I didn’t know why.”

“I still remember the moment. My mother pulled me aside, sat me down on the bed and said I need to talk to you. She told me I had cancer. I didn’t know what it was, or what it would do to me. I was also told not to talk about it. Even my sister and brothers didn’t know. I had been going through chemotherapy treatments a few times a week, but didnt’ know what they were. I was only told I was a very sick boy and I had to go to the doctors to get help and to get better. The treatments were at least twice-a-week or more for the first year or two. Not to mention the five surgeries I had been through, on my neck, my tonsils, my adenoids, sinuses and finally a biopsy before one doctor figured it out. The doctor removed as many lymph nodes from my neck as he could without crippling me and then turned me over to an oncologist. He’s the one who told my parents let him be normal… cause he only has one or two good years left.”

But Jim had no idea, no details – until that moment his mom told him the secret. Not that his life would be short, but that the “C” word was part of his life. In fact there was more than one “C” word… the one Jim refused to adopt even in his darkest moments… compromise. Although he wandered through the well-traveled valley of the ultimate question – why me, he never wavered on the foundation of his life, one his family had embedded into him from birth – faith.

 

“I remember lying in my bed, or being out there on my own and trying to deal with these things growing up. But my faith drew me closer to God. We were a very tight family. My mom and dad were so supportive. Although he traveled a lot in sales, my dad was great. From a young age I still remember my dad taking me to church and teaching me the importance of faith in my life. I didn’t know much, expect never compromise it. My mom was amazing, she was always by my side. Always. She went with me to every appointment, to the hospital, or to the doctor.”

Jim & Dad

Despite the tremendous health challenge life presented in his childhood, since his father traveled so much, Jim knew he needed to be the man of the house when his dad was away… and to act like one. “Growing up, I was a skinny little kid, (made even more so by the chemo treatments), and other kids saw me as different. Even though I was small I wanted to be a leader. I was always volunteering to take on different assignments in class. I started a school newspaper in the 6th grade just to raise money for the school. We sold the papers for a nickel and used the money to buy equipment for the school. I worked to be successful no matter what.”

While helping to take care of his family and create success… there was still the secret. Four years had passed since diagnosis when Jim finally told his sister Susan. To this day Jim remembers it well: “Susan is one-year older than me and she had said I was getting special treatment since I was always spending so much time with our mom. Walking home from school one day, I was already 13-1/2, I told my sister I’m not getting special treatment… I’m sick. I have cancer. My sister was shocked. She started crying and asked me if I was going to be OK.”

“My younger brothers didn’t find out until they were 12-or-13, I was already about 18. Again, back in the day you didn’t talk about cancer. I kept it to myself. My friends and a lot of the people I’ve known throughout my life didn’t, or don’t know about it.”

As so many times is the case, the cancer journey was not without its twists and turns. If life doesn’t provide you a straight line, why would the illness you are forced to deal with – deal with you any differently? As he battled the beast, Jim nearly was forced to give up his spleen. If not for a special doctor and the entire cancer board at North Children’s Hospital in Kentucky doing some more testing and investigation, and then offering him a last-minute reprieve from surgery, the course of his life – and his challenge with his health – might have turned out much differently.

Through it all Jim says his family kept the faith. “My family was very tight”, says Jim. “Faith was very important to us all. I still remember after mass on Sunday we’d always go somewhere – a museum, the park, or someplace else – in order to spend time together as a family. We weren’t rich by any means, but we had each other.”

Dad & His Boys

Health is wealth, but sometimes there are circumstances beyond our control. But so is family and faith, riches of life we have in our control and we all can aspire to emulate the path the White family chose to take, despite the challenges of living. Keeping those pieces of his life front and center led Jim and his family to hold steadfast to the hope for a better tomorrow and even though at first given only two years to live – by the age of 14 the doctors stopped the chemotherapy treatments, telling Jim and his parents he was in remission. A life sentence reversed. Jim says he was “definitely in the right place at the right time to get the necessary treatment”, but also appreciates his fortitude and faith to see him through.

Through his childhood journey with cancer Jim learned not only the drive to have great success, but to celebrate, as he refers to them, “the little triumphs.” Jim also learned the power of helping those around him, as he himself was helped to heal and survive.  In college, at East Carolina University, he earned the right to become a member of the Sigma Phi Epsilon fraternity. The Creed of that fraternity: To strive in every way to live up to the high principles for which it stands. These are virtue, diligence and brotherly love. 

Jim’s participation in that fraternity taught him life lessons and the power and importance of recruiting the right people to your cause and to work and to serve with you. His business acumen, (he graduated from East Carolina with a degree in business administration), led him into financial services, and his faith kept him tied to the church. At a church finance committee he met a man, Rick Berg, and together the two helped to finance and build another church in the Raleigh, North Carolina area. It is a labor of love Jim says, “in providing something bigger than myself and providing hope and encouragement to so many people who create their own families. It is a special community of people.”

Unfortunately Jim had to say goodbye and bury his father at that same church, but it was shortly thereafter he met his wife Terry, the two were wed at the church in 2002. The fragility of life and the fortitude of a great love, taking place in the same space. “I can’t imagine my life without Terry,” says Jim. “We got married for all the right reasons. We love being together and when we are apart, we can’t wait until we see each other again.”

 

Jim’s professional life eventually led him to work in the insurance industry with his good friend Rick.  But in 1997, shortly after teeing off on the golf course, Rick suddenly dropped to his knees and died of a heart attack. The death of his good friend coming just months before Jim’s father passed away.

Jim went in and rescued the remnants of the now defunct insurance agency, trying his best to save dollars and distribute them to the families who helped build the company. In 2002 he was offered to come and work with USHEALTH Group, as Vice-President of Agency. The company faced some tough times, but in 2012 Jim says Troy McQuagge came on the scene and asked him to join his team in the home office as Senior Vice-President of Field Sales. Jim says he has had some great mentors over his lifetime, but with Troy it’s different. “Troy is a true visionary,” says Jim. “He really cares about teaching and building a legacy. Troy does a wonderful job of leading, providing mentorship and encouraging others to understand we are all called to make a difference, no matter how short, or how long our time here is on earth.”

Battling and defeating the inner demon which threatened to claim his life, back in October Jim and his family celebrated 40 years in remission from the cancer.

Jim & Mom

Jim says revealing his “secret” is kind of a “coming-out party” for him. But he also knows it will mean so much if it encourages people to, as Jim says, “strive to help others and make a difference in the world we all live in. When I look back at my life what I want to leave is I want other people to feel special, to know they were loved and that I cared deeply about them and that it was important to me to make a difference in their lives.”

For people to know he loved, he cared and by sharing his story, help others to better their own. For Jim White, a sense of peace.

Until next time thanks for taking the time,

Mark Brodinsky

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Author: The #1 Amazon Best Seller: It Takes 2. Surviving Breast Cancer: A Spouse’s Story
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Comments

  1. greg van wye says

    February 19, 2017 at 1:40 pm

    Jim is one special guy

    Reply
  2. Nonnie Hamer says

    February 21, 2017 at 12:23 pm

    Thank you Jim White for making a difference in my life & countless others!

    Reply

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Mark Brodinsky
Emmy Award Winner, 1996

Ever thought about writing a book? check this out!

Blog Reviews

Love seeing new blogs hit the ground running like this one (by a dad no less), but I also urge anyone vaguely interested in blogging to stay tuned, I am. Good luck on your journey – glad that I am along for the ride.

Rachel Blaufeld

Great blog Mark! I always appreciate reading what you have to say. You are very gifted and talented and hopefully someday you’ll not just blog, but write a book.

 Stephen Koncurat

I’m definitely along for the ride. We’ve all seen how much damage the written word can inflict. More positive writers are needed. And I love how you are using your personal experiences – those with your wife and children – and your gift of writing to open eyes and to inspire others.

Victoria Endicott

Absolutely beautifully written! The girls in your life must be very proud of you. Thanks for sharing Mark, I look forward to reading more!

Gina Glick Jolson

Very shortly this site will be famous amid all blogging and site-building users, due to it’s pleasant posts.

Leila Galloway

Absolutely beautiful! Are you at all thinking of penning a book? You’ve got a fan base out there that really thinks you should Mark. You write so eloquently. Glad that I got onto this site.

Marilyn Lefkowitz

Mark, You are truly a gifted writer and obviously, a special father and husband . Always a delight to read your words.

I’m speechless…beautiful words flow from your heart just like a gentle waterfall into a tranquil stream… thank you so much for the friend request I was blessed the day I clicked confirm.

Lynne Turner Dorsey

From your first writing in 4th grade entitled “People” which was published in the school newspaper, you have always been able to write. Never more so than when you started “Caringbridge” and now your blog, everyone who reads says what a wonderful writer you are. Our DREAM for you is to become an author and encourage people every day. You are by the far the best and we hope and pray you reach your dream.

Bonnie Brodinsky

I know you always thank us for reading but I would like to say thanks for writing.

Stuart Abell

Great piece. You are an inspiration!

Rob Commodari

Mark I just wanted to let you know that you are succeeding in your “ultimate goal”. I have gained so much from your blogs. I look forward to reading them for the special lift that they give me. Thank you.

Amy F.

I love waking up and starting my day with my coffee and your blog! It a great way to start my day with positive uplifting thoughts!! It puts me in a positive frame of mind throughout the day and allows me to reflect on my personal life, make changes, and grow !!!

Gayle Blank

You are quite talented Mark. Thanks for sharing!

Cynthia

I always look forward to your Blog Mark. Thanks for sharing and as you always do, make it a great / remarkable Day!

Chuck Connolly

Thanks for your Blog Mark. It is fun, encouraging and a nice break from a day full of ups and downs.

Jackie Hetrick

With my busy schedule, there is (sadly) little time for reading. But I have two must-reads every time I come across them, the sports section and your blogs. Keep inspiring and following your dream!

Ed Nemec

Mark, you are a truly remarkable individual. You do speak from your heart, I can’t wait to read your book. You are an incredible writer.

Debbie Press

Mark, I am glad I clicked on your post this morning, which lead me to your writing, your goal.
Would like to connect. This speaks to me.

Aileen Braverman

I can’t wait to read the book. I have followed all the blogs and feel so good that I know u guys. You make me cry but you make me laugh too. All the very best to you!

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WOW!!! It Takes 2 is a must read for anyone who has known someone diagnosed with cancer or other life threatening disease. This is the real story of a family lead by an incredible woman, Debbie Brodinsky, who took radical steps to beat the breast cancer beast. The story is told by her husband, Mark Brodinsky, through journal entries he kept starting with diagnosis through one year cancer free. This author's unique ability to pour his heart out onto the page draws you in from the beginning and holds you until the very end.

Thanks to Mark and Debbie Brodinsky for this gift...I have a new perspective on what it means to be a breast cancer survivor. You are a hero, Debbie Brodinsky!

TeeBThree
September 25, 2013

ittakes2_reviews_2

This book gives a heartfelt, in depth description of what it is like to go through breast cancer with the one you love. It is beautifully written and I felt as though I was living it with them! I highly recommend this book!

Jgs17
September 24, 2013

ittakes2_reviews_2

In It Takes 2, Mark Brodinsky windows us into his world where his wife, the cancer patient, is not the only victim. Part journal, part roadmap, It Takes 2 goes to the real humanity of facing the mortality of one's better half. Mark's candid perspective, love, and fierce intention resonate with hope in a story which is about much more than cancer. Mark himself is perhaps the most heroic character for the way he appreciates this life and so many of us in it...as he says, "thanks for caring."

Réné Pallace
September 24, 2013

ittakes2_reviews_2

It Takes Two: A Spouse's Story by Mark Brodinsky should be read by every person who is experiencing serious illness or injury or by a loved one of someone who is experiencing either of those situations. The book is an eloquent testament to the power of love and the healing energy derived from the belief that things will get better. There is not one word of "poor me" from the author or his wife who suffered breast cancer and the radical surgery she elected to have to beat the cancer. Rather, the book is a celebration of the courage displayed by them both in seeing it through.

The book also encourages readers to speak and write down their true feelings and be validated in them. John Mackovic writing in the Palm Springs, CA Desert Sun on November 2, 2013 quoted author and artist Doe Zantamata who said, " To be happy, you don't have to do anything new. You just have to remember how to believe again...Believe everything good is possible. Believe in your dreams. Believe in people. Believe in love. But most of all...believe in yourself." The author, his wife, their family and extended family and friends never stopped believing in his wife's recovery, and I think, in themselves. Read this book and believe.

Paul A. Riecks
November 4, 2013

ittakes2_reviews_2

This book is a must read for anyone with a family member with breast cancer. It takes you through the spouse's perspective from diagnosis to recovery. Mark journaled his wife's journey and put all of his emotions out there. It is beautifully written and inspiring to anyone going through breast cancer. Thank you, Mark for sharing Debbie's story.

Jmu1109
October 23, 2013

ittakes2_reviews_2

A friend recommended this book. This was a great perspective of a man standing beside his partner and passing along to the reader fear, hope, useful information and a broader story than his own. I loved Vinnie the tattoo artist. This is a great book. Thanks for sharing, Mark and "thanks for caring"

Blahsan

ittakes2_reviews_2

This book is a must read. What sets this book apart from other books about surviving breast cancer is that it is told by the husband and his point of view, not from the survivor. At times sad, at times poignant but even through the worst of it you can always feel the love he has for his wife, her strength and the strength of their extended family and friends. The posts that are included from their friends and family lets you really into the heart and strength of the family. I would recommend this book to anyone who is currently going through this, whether you are the person or the caregiver. I also recommend this book to anyone who has a friend that has been or is currently going through their fight now. It was an eye opener for me.

L. Bogash
Seven Valleys, PA

ittakes2_reviews_2

There isn't a shortage of books about breast cancer, but most are written from the perspective of the person who has battled cancer or a physician or other expert. What an enlightening experience to read about breast cancer from a husband and caregiver's perspective! Not only does the author give us insight into his wife's experience and emotions, but he openly shares and reveals his love, compassion, support, and, yes, sometimes anger at the disease as he stands by his wife's side during their journey to beat the beast. Your story may not be the same, but I guarantee if you have a loved one battling cancer, you won't go wrong reading It Takes 2.

 PattiM
September 25, 2013

 

ittakes2_reviews_2

From the moment I opened this book I never stopped reading. Mark invites the reader to come along on this journey that his family went through. I cried, laughed and learned so much. This book will give comfort and knowledge to those going through similar situations. Most importantly, Mark and his family never give up. They get knocked down and get right back up. They fought cancer together and with their strength, determination and will to prevail... They do!

 Jenny Schloss 

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The question might speak to you. It should. It might be one of life’s most important questions, if you want to live and not simply survive. Jack Welch, the legendary business executive who served as CEO of General Electric for twenty-one years and over his tenure helped the company to grow 4000%, (yes that’s three […]

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They say never give up. Learning from those who refuse to lose might be the greatest inspiration of all. The Sunday Series (37): Amanda’s Sunrise Just days away from a major milestone in her life, 17-year-old Amanda Endres is feeling good. She’s a fighter. She’s determined and she is looking forward to a ton of […]

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