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The Sunday Series (132), with Mark Brodinsky

December 11, 2016 By markbrodinsky Leave a Comment

It’s not always easy when the challenges are weighing you down, but in this life we are all bigger than the problems we face. You must believe that and never, ever forget it. Life doesn’t happen to you, it happens for you.

To rise above whatever circumstance is in front of you takes only one step into the arena many fear to tread, that of courage. Get knocked down so you can learn to get back up and hold your position.

Then go on and share your story so others can be inspired.

After all, everyone has a story.

I’m Mark Brodinsky and this is The Sunday Series.


The Sunday Series (132): Healing Hearts

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“One thing we know about life, is that it is always changing, sometimes you’re up, sometimes you’re down, sometimes you’re happy and sometimes your sad, that’s that thing called life.” – Les Brown

The holiday season is a time of joy and fellowship, family and friends, love and enriched spirit. The season speaks to us as a way to rekindle the romance of life and a reminder of that time of inward innocence from our youth, before life creeps in and tries to draw our attention outward. For Molly Garrison and her children the season will always carry mixed emotions.

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The day after Christmas, December 2010 was going to be like any other day during the holiday season. Molly’s children, Amanda, Trey and Michael, despite being teenagers, or on the threshold of young adulthood still enjoyed climbing into bed with their mom to plan their day, banana pancakes for breakfast and a full day of holiday togetherness on the horizon.

That is until Molly opened the closet. Her suitcase, which had still been packed after a two-week trip out west for skiing with the family, was missing. Molly’s clothes were dumped on the floor and her husband’s wedding band was on the dresser.

Gone.

The man who trained for years to become a cardiothoracic surgeon, helping to save hearts, in the blink of an eye left four broken ones in his wake. Deciding he no longer wanted the responsibilities of fatherhood and family, he left.

The reasons why are close and personal to the Garrison family, and truly not as important as the stark reality which now stared Molly in the face. At age 51, she was left to pick up the pieces. Halfway through life, she was starting over and would need to be born again.

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You’re going to have some ups and you’re going to have some downs, but during those down moments, that’s where the growth takes place, that’s where the work is.

Molly, who hadn’t really worked outside the home in 15 years as she raised her family and helped her husband to build his medical practice, thought she had the benefit of a double masters in early childhood and psychology. Inspired by her own sister who was mentally disabled, Molly had always enjoyed helping those with special needs and for years had worked in the education field.

But now work was going to be hard to find… a decade-and-a-half removed from her last position, teaching jobs were few and far between. “Interestingly the only job I could get was as an assistant to a first year teacher”, says Molly. “She had a bachelor’s degree, I have a double masters, it was very humbling. There were quite a few humbling years. I worked for a friend of mine who owned a boutique and designed wedding invitations and portfolios. I did the design work based on what my mom taught me, but it was tough to support myself and my family.”

molly-and-kids

The real challenge, the real challenge of growth, mentally, emotionally and spiritually comes when you get knocked down. How you handle it. Are you going through it or are you growing through it? Are you bigger and better because of it?

Support was tough to come by, Molly’s husband left the family on the heels of both her parents passing away within eight months of each other. But organization and resourcefulness are two of Molly’s greatest strengths. During the difficult years of a one-income family while her husband attended medical school, Molly did the impossible. “I love telling the story that while we were living in Monterey, Mexico for four years we lived on $100-a-month for groceries. If you know me, you know I’m a little organized and I accounted for a one-month menu and accounted for every ingredient on the menu. For example the schedule called for spaghetti twice for dinner, once for lunch and then freeze it to have leftovers and make sure we could make ends meet. I’m very sequential. My mom, who was a nurse, but also a decorator, taught me things were done in odd numbers. Do it right the first time and you don’t have to look back.”

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Molly continues: “I probably made a mistake but my attitude was that my marriage or my divorce was not going to be about money. I didn’t want my kids to think that’s what it was about. I wasn’t aggressive, didn’t hire an aggressive attorney and instead made it my responsibility to pick up the pieces. I knew there was a path, but I didn’t know what it would be. I had very little confidence in myself, but lots of faith. I went through divorce class at church and knew God had a plan and if I keep working and if I keep pushing and show this (resolve) to my children it would be OK.”

Things are going to happen to you and the most important thing you can do is to harness your will… and let it go.

In the meantime, there were attempts at reconciliation between the children and their father, but much of it especially early on, was difficult and hurtful. They didn’t see their dad until a year-and-a-half after he left and Michael graduated from high school. Through the strained relationships, it’s been Molly who has championed the cause of her kids spending time with their dad. “I encourage them to have a relationship with their father because I cannot be a father to them. A mother loves unconditionally. A father supplies the “attaboys”. When a father tells his son how proud he is of him he gives his son value and I can’t do that. They know I’m always going to support them and tell them how amazing they are. I encourage them to see their dad at Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving and at least once during the summer.”

I’m in control here. I’m not going to let this get me down. I’m not going to let this destroy me. I’m coming back and I’ll be better and stronger because of it.

Strength has always been at the core of Molly’s life, spiritual, family and hard work taught to her by her own father and mother. “I still remember my father worked at the Sun oil company (Sunoco)”, says Molly “and he worked up to being vice-president of administrative services. When he was finished at the office he would come home, eat dinner and then go into his home office and work until the wee hours of the morning. He always said because he didn’t have a college education he had to work longer to get it right, but he always worked until he got it done.”

molly-and-dad

Develop the necessary habit of working harder than what you are paid for.

Though good-paying work was hard to come by for Molly, early in 2014 she found a webinar hosted by a man named Kevin Ferrell. She immediately called the office in Texas and set an appointment to meet with Kelly Morgan. Molly says Kelly talked a lot about HOPE, Helping Other People Everyday. “I thought I can do this I love helping people”, says Molly. “I had no idea what I was doing but I listened to Kelly and I took notes of every manager. I worked out of the storage closet and anytime any agent came in the office to ask a question I would jump up to listen to hear what they were dealing with. I would listen and take notes and learn as much as I could. I was committed from the get-go. I called leads that were 2 and 3 years old, loved hearing people’s stories and helping them. I hit my early milestones quickly and after only a few months got invited to Cabo San Lucas on a company trip and that was life-changing.

“Don’t know how I got there except the power of prayer. I watched a panel of men up on the stage actually crying about the impact this company has had on their lives. How it took them from their dark days to where they are now. I started bawling and Troy McQuagge, our President and CEO was sitting at the table behind me, probably wondering why I was crying too. But in those moments I finally understood and felt hope. I can give my kids hope now and in the future. I did not do a good job when their dad left. Hope was there but I could not find it. But it is about what you do for others. Hope anchors the soul and definitely anchors my soul.”

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I’m going to turn this situation around. I’m not going to sit back and moan and cry over what happened and what went wrong and who did what. I’m going to do something about this situation. Expect things to get better for you because they are!

Until next time thanks for taking the time,

Mark Brodinsky

(Italicized quotes courtesy of Les Brown)

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Author: The #1 Amazon Best Seller: It Takes 2. Surviving Breast Cancer: A Spouse’s Story
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Mark Brodinsky
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Blog Reviews

Love seeing new blogs hit the ground running like this one (by a dad no less), but I also urge anyone vaguely interested in blogging to stay tuned, I am. Good luck on your journey – glad that I am along for the ride.

Rachel Blaufeld

Great blog Mark! I always appreciate reading what you have to say. You are very gifted and talented and hopefully someday you’ll not just blog, but write a book.

 Stephen Koncurat

I’m definitely along for the ride. We’ve all seen how much damage the written word can inflict. More positive writers are needed. And I love how you are using your personal experiences – those with your wife and children – and your gift of writing to open eyes and to inspire others.

Victoria Endicott

Absolutely beautifully written! The girls in your life must be very proud of you. Thanks for sharing Mark, I look forward to reading more!

Gina Glick Jolson

Very shortly this site will be famous amid all blogging and site-building users, due to it’s pleasant posts.

Leila Galloway

Absolutely beautiful! Are you at all thinking of penning a book? You’ve got a fan base out there that really thinks you should Mark. You write so eloquently. Glad that I got onto this site.

Marilyn Lefkowitz

Mark, You are truly a gifted writer and obviously, a special father and husband . Always a delight to read your words.

I’m speechless…beautiful words flow from your heart just like a gentle waterfall into a tranquil stream… thank you so much for the friend request I was blessed the day I clicked confirm.

Lynne Turner Dorsey

From your first writing in 4th grade entitled “People” which was published in the school newspaper, you have always been able to write. Never more so than when you started “Caringbridge” and now your blog, everyone who reads says what a wonderful writer you are. Our DREAM for you is to become an author and encourage people every day. You are by the far the best and we hope and pray you reach your dream.

Bonnie Brodinsky

I know you always thank us for reading but I would like to say thanks for writing.

Stuart Abell

Great piece. You are an inspiration!

Rob Commodari

Mark I just wanted to let you know that you are succeeding in your “ultimate goal”. I have gained so much from your blogs. I look forward to reading them for the special lift that they give me. Thank you.

Amy F.

I love waking up and starting my day with my coffee and your blog! It a great way to start my day with positive uplifting thoughts!! It puts me in a positive frame of mind throughout the day and allows me to reflect on my personal life, make changes, and grow !!!

Gayle Blank

You are quite talented Mark. Thanks for sharing!

Cynthia

I always look forward to your Blog Mark. Thanks for sharing and as you always do, make it a great / remarkable Day!

Chuck Connolly

Thanks for your Blog Mark. It is fun, encouraging and a nice break from a day full of ups and downs.

Jackie Hetrick

With my busy schedule, there is (sadly) little time for reading. But I have two must-reads every time I come across them, the sports section and your blogs. Keep inspiring and following your dream!

Ed Nemec

Mark, you are a truly remarkable individual. You do speak from your heart, I can’t wait to read your book. You are an incredible writer.

Debbie Press

Mark, I am glad I clicked on your post this morning, which lead me to your writing, your goal.
Would like to connect. This speaks to me.

Aileen Braverman

I can’t wait to read the book. I have followed all the blogs and feel so good that I know u guys. You make me cry but you make me laugh too. All the very best to you!

Beverlee Rendelman

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WOW!!! It Takes 2 is a must read for anyone who has known someone diagnosed with cancer or other life threatening disease. This is the real story of a family lead by an incredible woman, Debbie Brodinsky, who took radical steps to beat the breast cancer beast. The story is told by her husband, Mark Brodinsky, through journal entries he kept starting with diagnosis through one year cancer free. This author's unique ability to pour his heart out onto the page draws you in from the beginning and holds you until the very end.

Thanks to Mark and Debbie Brodinsky for this gift...I have a new perspective on what it means to be a breast cancer survivor. You are a hero, Debbie Brodinsky!

TeeBThree
September 25, 2013

ittakes2_reviews_2

This book gives a heartfelt, in depth description of what it is like to go through breast cancer with the one you love. It is beautifully written and I felt as though I was living it with them! I highly recommend this book!

Jgs17
September 24, 2013

ittakes2_reviews_2

In It Takes 2, Mark Brodinsky windows us into his world where his wife, the cancer patient, is not the only victim. Part journal, part roadmap, It Takes 2 goes to the real humanity of facing the mortality of one's better half. Mark's candid perspective, love, and fierce intention resonate with hope in a story which is about much more than cancer. Mark himself is perhaps the most heroic character for the way he appreciates this life and so many of us in it...as he says, "thanks for caring."

Réné Pallace
September 24, 2013

ittakes2_reviews_2

It Takes Two: A Spouse's Story by Mark Brodinsky should be read by every person who is experiencing serious illness or injury or by a loved one of someone who is experiencing either of those situations. The book is an eloquent testament to the power of love and the healing energy derived from the belief that things will get better. There is not one word of "poor me" from the author or his wife who suffered breast cancer and the radical surgery she elected to have to beat the cancer. Rather, the book is a celebration of the courage displayed by them both in seeing it through.

The book also encourages readers to speak and write down their true feelings and be validated in them. John Mackovic writing in the Palm Springs, CA Desert Sun on November 2, 2013 quoted author and artist Doe Zantamata who said, " To be happy, you don't have to do anything new. You just have to remember how to believe again...Believe everything good is possible. Believe in your dreams. Believe in people. Believe in love. But most of all...believe in yourself." The author, his wife, their family and extended family and friends never stopped believing in his wife's recovery, and I think, in themselves. Read this book and believe.

Paul A. Riecks
November 4, 2013

ittakes2_reviews_2

This book is a must read for anyone with a family member with breast cancer. It takes you through the spouse's perspective from diagnosis to recovery. Mark journaled his wife's journey and put all of his emotions out there. It is beautifully written and inspiring to anyone going through breast cancer. Thank you, Mark for sharing Debbie's story.

Jmu1109
October 23, 2013

ittakes2_reviews_2

A friend recommended this book. This was a great perspective of a man standing beside his partner and passing along to the reader fear, hope, useful information and a broader story than his own. I loved Vinnie the tattoo artist. This is a great book. Thanks for sharing, Mark and "thanks for caring"

Blahsan

ittakes2_reviews_2

This book is a must read. What sets this book apart from other books about surviving breast cancer is that it is told by the husband and his point of view, not from the survivor. At times sad, at times poignant but even through the worst of it you can always feel the love he has for his wife, her strength and the strength of their extended family and friends. The posts that are included from their friends and family lets you really into the heart and strength of the family. I would recommend this book to anyone who is currently going through this, whether you are the person or the caregiver. I also recommend this book to anyone who has a friend that has been or is currently going through their fight now. It was an eye opener for me.

L. Bogash
Seven Valleys, PA

ittakes2_reviews_2

There isn't a shortage of books about breast cancer, but most are written from the perspective of the person who has battled cancer or a physician or other expert. What an enlightening experience to read about breast cancer from a husband and caregiver's perspective! Not only does the author give us insight into his wife's experience and emotions, but he openly shares and reveals his love, compassion, support, and, yes, sometimes anger at the disease as he stands by his wife's side during their journey to beat the beast. Your story may not be the same, but I guarantee if you have a loved one battling cancer, you won't go wrong reading It Takes 2.

 PattiM
September 25, 2013

 

ittakes2_reviews_2

From the moment I opened this book I never stopped reading. Mark invites the reader to come along on this journey that his family went through. I cried, laughed and learned so much. This book will give comfort and knowledge to those going through similar situations. Most importantly, Mark and his family never give up. They get knocked down and get right back up. They fought cancer together and with their strength, determination and will to prevail... They do!

 Jenny Schloss 

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Thank You Mr. Angelos: It’s Just About… Life.

It was all because of the letter, right? Ask and ye shall receive? Give back. Tell a good story, speak to the heart and then, magic. I can certainly imagine it happened this way. Orioles owner Peter Angelos heard about my blog post, titled, Dear Mr. Angelos (http://markbrodinsky.com/2014/02/08/dear-mr-angelos-its-just-about-life/), and the next thing you know pitchers […]

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