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Giving Thanks, The “Extra” Chapter: It’s Just About… Life.

November 28, 2013 By markbrodinsky 2 Comments

tattoo the tatas
It is Thanksgiving Day. A day of reflection and gratitude and with that in mind I have decided to give thanks for you, by giving away something for free. This now is the “extra” chapter, for those who followed my wife’s breast cancer journey and my journal online,(www.caringbridge.org), or have read the book, this is the final chapter I did not have time to include in the first printing of It Takes 2. Surviving Breast Cancer: A Spouse’s Story.

The Extra Chapter: Redemption.
——————————————————————————————————————————————————–
Even now as I reflect back on our appointment at Little Vinnie’s Tattoo Shop, it is hard not to get a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes.

From cancer diagnosis, to mastectomy, to reconstruction, to revisions, to all of the countless doctor’s appointments before, after and in-between. Of all the times we were scared, sad, anxious, doubtful, hopeful, sure, angry, happy… outside of the day we learned Debbie was cancer free, little could compare to this.

It was everything we hoped for and more…

Vinnie is a talented artist to say the least and has transformed his part of the tattoo parlor into a mecca for miracles. For the women who battled the beast and won, whether temporarily, or permanently and want an opportunity to feel whole again, this is the place.

Debbie and I had paid a visit to Vinnie six months before, only to be turned away because he took one look at Debbie’s breasts and told us it was “too soon”. The scars from a second round of implant revisions were too fresh and he refused to take the chance, though he said others might have. Though we were deeply disappointed, it was the right thing to do.

Now, in the beginning of September, 14 months removed from the double mastectomy, with the revisions and recoveries in the rear view mirror, now was the right time.

And Vinnie got right to work. After Debbie took off her top and slipped on the surgical gown, she and I held our collective breath as Vinnie took some cleaning solution and rubbed her breasts, the same place he stopped last time around, only to tell us he couldn’t move forward, that we would have to go back and wait. This time, he kept going, saying the scars looked “good” and healed enough for him to proceed. For the first time since this ordeal began it was easy to smile…relief that my bride was going to get what she so badly wanted, a piece of redemption.

Vinnie got to work mixing up some type of magic potion, talking to us the whole time, as he carefully prepared his equipment and used his special tattoo hardware to craft a too-good-to-be-true nipple right where it should go, on top of the scar on Debbie’s right breast.

Debbie was facing the mirror and I was seated a little distance behind her so I could see the entire process. The whole time I was talking to Vinnie, asking him questions, as he shared a good part of his life story and the reason he decided to dedicate his business to helping breast cancer victims. Vinnie had been doing similar work for a while and was thinking of giving it up, because much of the work he was being asked to do was single areola and nipple reconstruction. It’s difficult work, trying to match up his own handiwork to look like the woman’s G-d given nipple and breast which already exists. Vinnie was ready to call it quits a few years back, and then one day he got a phone call.

On the other end of the line was his sister and she was upset. She had just been diagnosed with breast cancer. Vinnie remembers the call vividly, as do all of us who have heard the phone ring and heard sadness and despair on the other end. He says it was the parking lot call that changed it all. Sounds familiar. Vinnie says it was that phone call and his sister’s situation which led him to his decision to not to give up, to not only move forward, but to expand… and to learn more about the craft, to become what he is today, someone who is changing lives, providing the last final piece of the puzzle, a physical, emotional and psychological piece of redemption to hundreds of breast cancer victims. Vinnie is leaving a legacy.

The right breast didn’t take long. Soon enough Vinnie turned Debbie’s chair around to work on the left breast and now she was facing me. I had brought along the draft for the book, It Takes 2, which was just days away from going to the local printer. At the time, it was the only physical evidence I had that I was actually going through with the publication, and I wanted Vinnie to see it was real… and let him know he was to be part of our journey in the pages of this story. He was excited to be a part of it all. I talk about Vinnie several times in the book, though I knew I was out of time to include this particular moment, my editor and graphic artist would never allow it because the deadline of publishing was a few days away. There just wasn’t time, until today.

In less than an hour, Vinnie was finished. Unbelievable. Not just in the time it took to change the appearance of Debbie’s breasts, but the work was in a word, phenomenal. Perfect color, perfect size, and to top it all off the nipples were 3-D. It was about as close to reality as you can get. Instantly I could see it in Debbie’s eyes… a change, she was happy with Vinnie’s masterpiece, she was smiling, though I didn’t know it at the time, also in a fairly good deal of pain. Hell, no pain, no gain. It was worth it.

We left with instructions and some ointment and non-stick bandages. Debbie would need to use the bandages for a little while, just to make sure Vinnie’s work didn’t cling to some clothing and have to be redone. There was deep satisfaction and gratitude for this small miracle. Everything I had read, everything I myself had written about Vinnie and his practice, had come true. It was hard not to get teary-eyed, thinking back to my own parking lot call, so many, many months ago… which now had come full circle with Debbie’s personal triumph.

And I knew it was a job well done, because for more than a year following her double mastectomy, revision and implants, my wife mostly kept her reconstruction and scars to herself, keeping a towel or shirt on even after showering, not really wanting to look at the scars often and certainly not feeling fulfilled by the entire process. Now she was popping her top for family and close friends… showing off the handiwork which has given her a new outlook, a chance to feel whole again, a piece of redemption.
——————————————————————————————————————————————————-
The day of diagnosis, April 13th, 2012, won’t ever be forgotten, but every day it becomes more of a distant memory. Since that day so much has happened physically, mentally, emotionally and even spelled out in the pages of a best-selling book for the world to share our story.

Today on Thanksgiving we are preparing to host family at our home for the annual gathering, and it seems fitting to bring this final chapter to a close. The one I didn’t have time to include in the pages of the book, but wanted to share on this most perfect of days for gratitude.

So let me end by saying… Thanks for caring.

Mark

Mark Brodinsky, Author
It Takes 2. Surviving Breast Cancer: A Spouse’s Story
#1 Best-Seller on Amazon
www.spouses-story.com, www.amazon.com/author/markbrodinsky
markbrodinsky@gmail.com

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Comments

  1. Anne King says

    November 28, 2013 at 9:09 am

    Thanks for reminding me what I have to look forward to.

    Reply
    • Mark Brodinsky says

      November 28, 2013 at 9:24 am

      Thank you Anne. It’s an honor to have a warrior share in the story.

      Reply

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Mark Brodinsky
Emmy Award Winner, 1996

Ever thought about writing a book? check this out!

Blog Reviews

Love seeing new blogs hit the ground running like this one (by a dad no less), but I also urge anyone vaguely interested in blogging to stay tuned, I am. Good luck on your journey – glad that I am along for the ride.

Rachel Blaufeld

Great blog Mark! I always appreciate reading what you have to say. You are very gifted and talented and hopefully someday you’ll not just blog, but write a book.

 Stephen Koncurat

I’m definitely along for the ride. We’ve all seen how much damage the written word can inflict. More positive writers are needed. And I love how you are using your personal experiences – those with your wife and children – and your gift of writing to open eyes and to inspire others.

Victoria Endicott

Absolutely beautifully written! The girls in your life must be very proud of you. Thanks for sharing Mark, I look forward to reading more!

Gina Glick Jolson

Very shortly this site will be famous amid all blogging and site-building users, due to it’s pleasant posts.

Leila Galloway

Absolutely beautiful! Are you at all thinking of penning a book? You’ve got a fan base out there that really thinks you should Mark. You write so eloquently. Glad that I got onto this site.

Marilyn Lefkowitz

Mark, You are truly a gifted writer and obviously, a special father and husband . Always a delight to read your words.

I’m speechless…beautiful words flow from your heart just like a gentle waterfall into a tranquil stream… thank you so much for the friend request I was blessed the day I clicked confirm.

Lynne Turner Dorsey

From your first writing in 4th grade entitled “People” which was published in the school newspaper, you have always been able to write. Never more so than when you started “Caringbridge” and now your blog, everyone who reads says what a wonderful writer you are. Our DREAM for you is to become an author and encourage people every day. You are by the far the best and we hope and pray you reach your dream.

Bonnie Brodinsky

I know you always thank us for reading but I would like to say thanks for writing.

Stuart Abell

Great piece. You are an inspiration!

Rob Commodari

Mark I just wanted to let you know that you are succeeding in your “ultimate goal”. I have gained so much from your blogs. I look forward to reading them for the special lift that they give me. Thank you.

Amy F.

I love waking up and starting my day with my coffee and your blog! It a great way to start my day with positive uplifting thoughts!! It puts me in a positive frame of mind throughout the day and allows me to reflect on my personal life, make changes, and grow !!!

Gayle Blank

You are quite talented Mark. Thanks for sharing!

Cynthia

I always look forward to your Blog Mark. Thanks for sharing and as you always do, make it a great / remarkable Day!

Chuck Connolly

Thanks for your Blog Mark. It is fun, encouraging and a nice break from a day full of ups and downs.

Jackie Hetrick

With my busy schedule, there is (sadly) little time for reading. But I have two must-reads every time I come across them, the sports section and your blogs. Keep inspiring and following your dream!

Ed Nemec

Mark, you are a truly remarkable individual. You do speak from your heart, I can’t wait to read your book. You are an incredible writer.

Debbie Press

Mark, I am glad I clicked on your post this morning, which lead me to your writing, your goal.
Would like to connect. This speaks to me.

Aileen Braverman

I can’t wait to read the book. I have followed all the blogs and feel so good that I know u guys. You make me cry but you make me laugh too. All the very best to you!

Beverlee Rendelman

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WOW!!! It Takes 2 is a must read for anyone who has known someone diagnosed with cancer or other life threatening disease. This is the real story of a family lead by an incredible woman, Debbie Brodinsky, who took radical steps to beat the breast cancer beast. The story is told by her husband, Mark Brodinsky, through journal entries he kept starting with diagnosis through one year cancer free. This author's unique ability to pour his heart out onto the page draws you in from the beginning and holds you until the very end.

Thanks to Mark and Debbie Brodinsky for this gift...I have a new perspective on what it means to be a breast cancer survivor. You are a hero, Debbie Brodinsky!

TeeBThree
September 25, 2013

ittakes2_reviews_2

This book gives a heartfelt, in depth description of what it is like to go through breast cancer with the one you love. It is beautifully written and I felt as though I was living it with them! I highly recommend this book!

Jgs17
September 24, 2013

ittakes2_reviews_2

In It Takes 2, Mark Brodinsky windows us into his world where his wife, the cancer patient, is not the only victim. Part journal, part roadmap, It Takes 2 goes to the real humanity of facing the mortality of one's better half. Mark's candid perspective, love, and fierce intention resonate with hope in a story which is about much more than cancer. Mark himself is perhaps the most heroic character for the way he appreciates this life and so many of us in it...as he says, "thanks for caring."

Réné Pallace
September 24, 2013

ittakes2_reviews_2

It Takes Two: A Spouse's Story by Mark Brodinsky should be read by every person who is experiencing serious illness or injury or by a loved one of someone who is experiencing either of those situations. The book is an eloquent testament to the power of love and the healing energy derived from the belief that things will get better. There is not one word of "poor me" from the author or his wife who suffered breast cancer and the radical surgery she elected to have to beat the cancer. Rather, the book is a celebration of the courage displayed by them both in seeing it through.

The book also encourages readers to speak and write down their true feelings and be validated in them. John Mackovic writing in the Palm Springs, CA Desert Sun on November 2, 2013 quoted author and artist Doe Zantamata who said, " To be happy, you don't have to do anything new. You just have to remember how to believe again...Believe everything good is possible. Believe in your dreams. Believe in people. Believe in love. But most of all...believe in yourself." The author, his wife, their family and extended family and friends never stopped believing in his wife's recovery, and I think, in themselves. Read this book and believe.

Paul A. Riecks
November 4, 2013

ittakes2_reviews_2

This book is a must read for anyone with a family member with breast cancer. It takes you through the spouse's perspective from diagnosis to recovery. Mark journaled his wife's journey and put all of his emotions out there. It is beautifully written and inspiring to anyone going through breast cancer. Thank you, Mark for sharing Debbie's story.

Jmu1109
October 23, 2013

ittakes2_reviews_2

A friend recommended this book. This was a great perspective of a man standing beside his partner and passing along to the reader fear, hope, useful information and a broader story than his own. I loved Vinnie the tattoo artist. This is a great book. Thanks for sharing, Mark and "thanks for caring"

Blahsan

ittakes2_reviews_2

This book is a must read. What sets this book apart from other books about surviving breast cancer is that it is told by the husband and his point of view, not from the survivor. At times sad, at times poignant but even through the worst of it you can always feel the love he has for his wife, her strength and the strength of their extended family and friends. The posts that are included from their friends and family lets you really into the heart and strength of the family. I would recommend this book to anyone who is currently going through this, whether you are the person or the caregiver. I also recommend this book to anyone who has a friend that has been or is currently going through their fight now. It was an eye opener for me.

L. Bogash
Seven Valleys, PA

ittakes2_reviews_2

There isn't a shortage of books about breast cancer, but most are written from the perspective of the person who has battled cancer or a physician or other expert. What an enlightening experience to read about breast cancer from a husband and caregiver's perspective! Not only does the author give us insight into his wife's experience and emotions, but he openly shares and reveals his love, compassion, support, and, yes, sometimes anger at the disease as he stands by his wife's side during their journey to beat the beast. Your story may not be the same, but I guarantee if you have a loved one battling cancer, you won't go wrong reading It Takes 2.

 PattiM
September 25, 2013

 

ittakes2_reviews_2

From the moment I opened this book I never stopped reading. Mark invites the reader to come along on this journey that his family went through. I cried, laughed and learned so much. This book will give comfort and knowledge to those going through similar situations. Most importantly, Mark and his family never give up. They get knocked down and get right back up. They fought cancer together and with their strength, determination and will to prevail... They do!

 Jenny Schloss 

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