A Deep Dive Into Failure: It's Just About... Life

After a little time off from the weekly blogs on personal growth and self-improvement, I’m back.

Took some time off from writing and learned something about myself – while I love doing The Sunday Series each week and sharing other people’s stories with the world, I also love writing It’s Just About… Life at least once a week – sharing something I’ve learned, read, listened to, or experienced… or simply just because.

I figure if I love it and I do it, then maybe some other people might like it as well. Though that’s not the point, but if you don’t share what you learn, what good is it? And believe me I have not applied all I have learned the way I should, yes I’ve failed and I am failing. Time and time again.

But after a great conversation with a new friend yesterday I’ve also come to realize that even if others don’t respond, you are touching lives and impacting others in ways you don’t even know about, or can’t imagine. And if others don’t like it that’s OK too. They don’t have to read it, and I’m not afraid to fail or look different. I’m just trying to be me.

Just read an unbelievable article in Success Magazine by Mel Robbins, she is a coach, speaker, author, CNN analyst and now Success columnist who is quickly becoming one of my favorites, because she is so raw and real.

Her latest article begins this way:

“Big, fat failure is the key to realizing your dreams. The funny thing is you already know failure is good for you.” If failure is the key to getting what we want, why do we do everything in our power to avoid it?”

It’s true. Failure, rejection, pain. If you avoid it at all costs there is no way you can become more than who you are. Failure is success deferred. Or as Mel writes: “Failure is an essential part of moving forward, of learning, of being human.”

The other part of any progress is overcoming rejection and fear – they are failure’s best friends.

So how to overcome? The article offers a few tips:

What’s Holding You Back?

Fear of looking stupid: You have a fear that people will laugh at you or think your idea is dumb. First, they probably won’t. And second, so what?
Fear of injury to pride: Your idea might be dumb, but you’ll never know till you put it out there. It probably isn’t.
Fear of social rejection: If you get paralyzed with worry about what your friends think, maybe it’s time for new friends. Remember it’s 2016. There are 8 billion people on the planet, and most of them are on Facebook.
Fear of feeling bad: Rejection can trigger a feeling similar to physical discomfort. You’ll live.
Fear of uncertainty: Just tell yourself that no matter what happens, you’ll figure it out.

There’s plenty more to this article, seven pages of stuff about screwing up. What a joy. There’s even a website called rejectiontherapy.com Almost like failure for the soul.

Like Mel says:

“You remain snugly in your comfort zone because your feelings tell you to, and it’s your feelings that you have to overcome if you want to take that risk, launch that idea or send that proposal. You won’t do what feels hard. If you’re planning to put yourself out there only when you feel like it, you’ll be waiting forever. In fact, there’s probably something right now that you’re avoiding. And that might be the thing you have to push yourself to do – whether you feel like it or not.”

Until next time thanks for taking the time (to fail),

Mark

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