The attitude of gratitude. It’s a powerful emotion. There’s plenty of that to go around this weekend, so much to look forward to and so much to be thankful for… and plenty of other times if you really put your attention on it. Focus on it and it changes everything.

On the drive to work Friday morning, I was thinking about the weekend ahead. A quiet Friday night dinner at home with family, a Saturday full of celebration, for our close friend’s son’s Bar Mitzvah, the BIG game – Ravens vs Patriots Sunday night and the chance to share that moment with friends and because of the power of social media, to share it with not only an entire community, but the world. And then there’s my oldest daughter, Sophie, and her soccer game. It’s the “hat trick”, focus on the Big Three each day, or even each weekend and your mind is altered in ways you can’t imagine. Life becomes the ride you know it can be.

So how cool can life get? Very… if you let your thoughts go there. I can do it. It’s easy. I mean, there’s some serious mojo at work here just this weekend. First up, the Bar Mitzvah for Jake Carswell, the son of our dear close friends. We have the privilege of living in a tremendous neighborhood with people who have truly become our extended family. Friends are the family you meet along the way. That sign posted in our neighbors’ home stays with me and I am reminded of it, every time we have the opportunity to be in each others presence. It’s a blessing quite like no other. I hope some of them are reading this right now, because I can’t thank you enough for always being there in good times and in tough times. Today, we get the chance to celebrate one of the good times that remind us all why we even exist – to appreciate the joy our children bring to our lives, with prayer and quite a party. And the cool thing is, it’s a shared experience and I know it. Just the other day I had the opportunity to enjoy a professional lunch with one of our neighbors and she easily and succinctly described to my business partner about the ‘hood and her gratitude for the experience of this neighborhood “family. It was unsolicited and it was special. It’s rare air indeed to be present in this community, but hearing your neighbor and friend else say it out loud and mirror your thoughts exactly, helped to cement those emotions. What a cool moment.

Today and tonight we’ll take it all to the next level. And it’s what life is really all about, if you let it. It’s not about the stress of the dress code tonight, as a matter of fact it’s a “tailgate party”, you get to wear whatever jersey or t-shirt you want. All that does is take it up another notch… the emotions, the energy are all that much higher when it’s a relaxed atmosphere and parents and kids alike get to party their asses off…. neighbors, friends…. family. If you let it in, it takes you to place and moments in time you’ll remember all your life. It’s history in the making.

And the synergy doesn’t stop there. What were the chances a tailgate bar mitzvah party takes place the night before the event – Ravens vs Patriots. The AFC Championship rematch. Just a few weeks back it looked like nothing like this would ever happen. Then comes the Mile High Miracle and all is right with the world (at least in Baltimore) again. Ya want gratitude? It’s not tough to dig deep on this one. I firmly believe that the Ravens are “all in” for one singular purpose, showing their gratitude for their team and spiritual leader, Ray Lewis. I transcribed the words from his post-game news conference last week (Rare Air: Observations of Life) and they are powerful. How can you not want to go for it for this guy? He might not be perfect, I mean who is, but he gets it, this is more than just about a game. Believe that and you can accomplish anything. The miracle happened last week, because everyone bought into the appreciation, dedication and devotion to that one purpose – extending Ray’s career, one more game, one game at a time. The power of gratitude the whole team feels for what Ray Lewis means to them, is overwhelming. If love is unstoppable, the power of gratitude can move your forward in ways you can’t imagine. The Ravens are proving it and it is special to watch. And watch we will.. in community, together. For those who scoff at sports, just look at the spirit, the energy and the goodwill a big game can garner, with those you are close to and those you have never met. Time to take off the critical cap and slip on a team hat. Just enjoy the ride.

Which brings me to what, for all intents and purposes, is really the big moment of the weekend, because it gets me as close to the core of what drives the power of gratitude for me every day. It’s Sophie’s soccer game. In its simplicity, it’s just one game in a bigger season and it’s smack dab in the middle of the mayhem of a much bigger weekend, high noon on Sunday. An hour that could easily be lost down the river of a much bigger ocean of events over the next 48 hours. But if I focus on it, it takes me to the greatest place of all. Because for 60 minutes the piece of my heart she owns gets transferred out onto that indoor field. The life I helped create takes a slice of mine right out there with her. Last week the kid scored a goal in the first game. Not too shabby. But goal or no goal, that doesn’t really matter in the end. If I do it right, pay attention and appreciate the hour on Sunday, I will get more from those 60 minutes than anything else that happens over this special weekend. And, as I have described there’s plenty to be thankful for already. It’s watching that soul, that spirit, that human I had a part of helping bring into this world go out there and try to be a little bit more, physically, mentally and emotionally, much more than if she is just sitting on the sidelines. She’s in the game and that’s what it’s all about. Just get in the game. I’m in… all in.

The power of gratitude. And my big three, at least for this weekend. Give it a shot. Believe me it took a lot longer to write this, than it does for you to think of yours. But it changes everything.

Until next time, thanks for taking the time.

Mark

All I could think was, “that’s my baby”. Another moment.

The other night my youngest, Emily, stood up from amongst the other orchestra members on stage at her elementary school, with microphone in hand and did it. She didn’t sing, instead it was her purpose, her responsiblity, to explain the next piece of music and how they were going to play it. She did it eloquently, perfectly, with a big smile, received a round of applause and then sat back down. A simple, solitary act, but more meaningful in the multitude of moments I hold for her in my heart.

Emily first came to tell me the other day, proudly, that she had been given a speaking part in the Winter Concert at school. She started to explain it, then held back, telling me I would see what she meant. You see Emily plays trumpet in the orchestra. She just started it this year in 5th grade and we all chuckled a bit when she decided that was what she wanted to play. Mainly because the instrument is about half her size, and we knew with her discipline and dedication we would be hearing the practicing going on in our home all (school) year long. Actually, Emily doesn’t overdo it with the practice, and she is actually quite good. You can’t exactly tap your feet to the music, but she’s got the keys and the notes down.

But I digress. So there she was in her white and gray dress, hair perfectly straightened and hanging down past her shoulders, playing along with the rest of the orchestra. When the first song ended, they handed her a microphone, and she popped up just above the music sheet holder in front of her and read her piece about the next song to be played and its meaning. Crazy thing is, I have no idea what she said, I was just so proud she was saying it and saying it so perfectly, I was focused on the performance, not the content. But she knocked it out of the park. After she was finished, one of our friends snapped a picture, with his camera (a real camera, not the smartphone kind). I don’t have the picture yet, but he showed to me right afterward. Emily, with her head tilted to one side, and a huge, beautiful smile from ear to ear. He told me he had been taking pictures of all the kids, especially those we know from “the hood” and Emily was the picture of the night. His words, not mine. I’ll take it.

To know Emily, is to know that it was really not a big deal for her to get up and speak, but it WAS a big deal to be asked to do it. She prides herself on accomplishment and is disciplined and focused on any task she is given. The kid is a doer – from the time she was small – when she wanted to do everything “myself”, as she would say. She is shy to say hello sometimes, which can give you the misperception she is cold. Couldn’t be further from the truth. My baby is as sweet and loving as they come. But her shy demeanor around others, made the solo performance she gave the other night a more meaningful act for those who might only get a meek hello from her when they see her in public. I think they have new respect for that quiet kid.

Again it was a moment. When I launched the blog last week, I spoke of Sophie and the place she holds in my heart as my first. Her beauty, creativity and sense of humor is remarkable. Emily holds the other spot. She’s my baby. Always will be. She is just as beautiful, creative and funny. I couldn’t possibly be a luckier man. And there are none coming behind her. She’s it. If I could keep her little I would. At 10 years old, it’s already happening too fast. You want your baby to stay a baby… to hold onto that last gasp of innocence that makes life so refreshing. But the one thing you can’t control, time, keeps moving forward. Always. So you buckle up and enjoy the ride — as we go from diapers to diamonds, and all the moments in between.

It was another moment. From the toddler that used to scream “I do it myself”, if you had the audacity to do it for her. She would then undo what you did and redo it, herself. The other night she did it. Herself. And I couldn’t be more proud.

The girl that sees so much in black and white, adds so much incredible color to my world.

I love you Emily, forever.

Til next time, thanks for taking the time.

Mark

Talk about going deep. I made a vow to do it on this page, the Ravens did it last night. They wrote the script for this blog and if you do nothing else, at least give yourself the gift of reading the transcript of Ray Lewis’s news conference I put at the bottom of this page.  It’s 2 minutes of your life you will never want back.

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Ravens down by 7. Third and 3 from the 30 with 31 seconds in regulation and to timeouts.  Flacco to Jacoby. Touchdown.

The Mile High Miracle. But damn it’s so much more than that.

Yes it’s about sports, but it’s about inspiration, it’s about dedication, it’s about a dream, it’s about a vision, it’s about a plan, it’s about grit and it’s about success.  The Ravens. Joe Flacco. Jacoby Jones. Ray Lewis. Ray Rice. Josh Tucker. Corey Graham. Everyone on that team showed us last night how you never, ever give up.  You must find a way to persevere against the greatest of adversity. If you have a dream, create a vision, have a goal, command great leadership of yourself and of others, have an unwavering devotion to planning and practice and grind it out, you can do anything. As John Harbaugh said that game did football proud.  But that game was much more than a game. It was a lesson in life and it was special.

Who didn’t feel like someone had put a spring under the sofa, and leaped into the air when Jones brought that ball to his chest and pranced into the end zone?  Who didn’t experience the unbelievable moment of heart-stopping exhilaration? Even the minimalist sports fan had to feel something after that catch, after that comeback, right?  Because despite it’s problems and despite the critics, sports can still take you there.  You don’t have to idolize, just enjoying the ride is enough. And sometimes, the game teaches you a life lesson you might just carry over to the next day… and beyond.  Keep it in your heart, stay steadfast to the kind of game plan the Ravens put in place, pay attention to how they overcame adversity, and luck just might present itself at your doorstep.  The Ravens were serious underdogs, playing on a short week, in hostile territory, 5,000 feet above sea level in thin air, with a “feels like” temperature of about 1 degree. And they didn’t even show up until the day before, with no time to adapt to the conditions! Everything, everything, was stacked against them.

But last night wasn’t about luck, it was about believing you can accomplish anything you put your mind to and having an overwhelming sense of confidence you can do it.  It’s not about genetics, it’s not about intelligence, it’s about grit.  It’s about having the vision and never wavering from it when other people are mocking you, discounting you and discouraging you.  Yet you find a way to win. You have an unwavering devotion to becoming something more. When you tell your mind its going to happen, have the vision and see it through, opportunity has a way of finding you.  Joe Flacco found it.  That pass he put up to Jones was like every deep ball you might have thrown in your backyard or in the middle of the street when you played football as a kid.  Put it up high, like a rainbow and hope for the pot of gold.  Last night, the Flacco Fling landed in the heart of Oz.

And what about Ray Lewis.  As promised, the man who will forever be a sports legend in this town, gives this page the perfect ending.  But here’s the reason he should grace this page… because he’s a legend, not just for what he does on the field, but what he does off the field.  It’s all about what Lewis does with his life. Want to be remembered? Do something small  to give back every day that gets you to that place.  It’s the little things that make a difference… and it’s life changing.

When asked what it feels like to extend his career with this game, here’s Ray Ray’s response:

“To do it like this. To do it for my team, to do it for my teammates, to do it for my children, who are my greatest inspiration, and then to do it for my city. There’s no other reason you do it. And if you were to go out any other way man, I challenge people to fight your darndest to go out this way. To feel what that ride feels like, to look into men’s eyes and get everybody to buy in. And when you get everybody to buy in, it’s just so special when you see it come to fruition, then it changes perspective on what we should pay attention to.  I went down to Johns Hopkins Thursday night. A friend of mine called me and asked me to come see some kids. I walked in there and I’m lookin’ at these babies, ya know, who are unfortunate because they have to be there.  And it just took everything away. Cause I made a mistake before, before the AFC championship and a very ill child I was supposed to go see before the game. I never got a chance to see him off, I never got a chance to say my last goodbyes to him. And this time when the call came, I HAD to go do it.  I put my iPad down and I let studying take care of itself. I had studied so much.  To go look at those kids and to listen to those kids and to listen to the things they were asking me… to just keep going on in life. Just the actual opportunity in life.  It’s why you do what you do. It’s why you sacrifice everything and there is just no greater reward.”

Until next time, thanks for taking the time.

Mark

Begin with the end in mind. You’ve gotta know your WHY.

A few days ago I posted my first blog ever – on the morning of my daughter Sophie’s 13th birthday and I have tremendous gratitude for the terrific feedback I received on Facebook, in e-mails, texts and phone calls. Thank you. Sincerely.

But I think it’s only fair that you learn a little more about me. I mean, why care? Just because I do? Why blog at all? Why share thoughts? Why share emotions? Why?

That’s exactly it. It’s my WHY. There has to be a reason. There has to be a reason for anything you do, if you expect it to be worthwhile. And there is. It’s easy and maybe too cliche to say that it’s because of my wife Debbie, my daughters Sophie, Emily, and even our dog Ollie. But lets face it, they are my life. I live for them, and life is ultimately about them. There is nothing I wouldn’t do or try to make them happy.  After all it is my life’s greatest love and most important responsibility.  But it has to come from inside, so it’s also about me. If you don’t have and can’t find a purpose, if you don’t want to make a difference, create meaning and leave a legacy, then what’s it all for? I mean are you simply along for the ride of life? And if so, where are you going? Questions only you can answer. But find the answer… and it all becomes clear.

I’m a husband, father, friend, a financial services agent — and I’m a writer. There I said it. And I have something to say. And so do you, and so does everyone else. So here’s the rub. I choose to take the thoughts circling around in my brain and put them on paper, or on a web page and for some reason other people react in ways I am just beginning to understand. Is it a gift? I don’t believe it’s all genetic. Here’s what I believe, I am determined, but more importantly I am-not-afraid. We all live with doubts and fears and worries. I have no fear to speak from the heart and share those feelings, share perceptions, take thoughts and words and make them into something more than I ever thought they could be.  Being able to share my emotions, being able to share part of my being…seems to strike a chord. But I believe the chord is simply a reaction from others who might just be too afraid to do the same, or just don’t care to. And that’s ok. That’s why I’m here.

I’ve taken a look back at some of the journal entries I posted in the wake of my wife’s breast cancer http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/debbiebrodinsky/journal and realized I was definitely letting it all out. It felt good to do it while a bad thing was happening, if that makes sense. Good to emote, good to rant, good to use thoughts that came from my heart, to my head and tried to make sense of everything that was going on. To say it was catharsis for me is an understatement. But being able to share and find love in return was the ultimate gift.

And from that – here I am. And here we are, if you’re along for this ride. This page, this site, is a journey to WHY. I want to leave something for the people I love the most. I want to give something back to the people I meet along the way and to the people I might never meet, short of this page. I have a voice and I have decided it can’t hurt to share. And just maybe, it can even help.

It’s incredibly exciting to think of all the possibilities, moments, observations and sharing we can do – it’s more than I can hope for or even imagine. Actually, no it’s not. My ultimate goal is to become more than I am and in doing so help others to do the same. If we share a laugh, a tear, or a common feeling along the way, isn’t that what life is all about? I’m ready to share.

In the coming days, weeks, months, and heck maybe years… this is part of the journey, part of destiny, part of my WHY. I’m going to dig deep, look and work from the inside out and I’m not going to be afraid. I hope you won’t be afraid to go with me. The possibilities are endless.

Til next time, thanks for taking the time.

Mark