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#1, CFD is a BFD: It’s Just About… Life.

May 10, 2013 By markbrodinsky 7 Comments

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Sometimes the title says it all. (One Year) Cancer Free Day is a Big F-ing Deal. Maybe all the years will be big. Moving forward there will be anniversaries, but it’s only the first year you can look back on, because that’s when IT happened.

I didn’t buy a card for the occasion, I didn’t buy flowers, I didn’t buy a bottle of wine. But I do have a gift:

Dear Debbie,
Five Hundred Twenty-Five Thousand Six Hundred Minutes. How do you measure a year in the life? I’m about to tell you.

The past year has been one we won’t soon forget. Today, one year ago, you were preparing for a life-changing surgery which you faced with determination and strength. I still remember the nurse taking your vital signs and then saying, “you’re a perfectly healthy 40-year-old woman, except you have breast cancer”. I can still see them wheeling you down the hallway, away from me, toward the operating room, knowing it would be the last time I would see you exactly the same way, and it had nothing to do with how you would look coming out.

No, it had everything to do with the person I saw in recovery. The woman, who at that moment, became a hero to all who love her and to all who know anything about her. Debbie you acted swiftly and without hesitation to make sure you would be the same person to us…to me, to Sophie, to Emily. You made a huge sacrifice and because of your will to give of yourself, we got more than the person who had just hours before, sat shivering in a hospital gown about to face one of the biggest moments of her life. In return, we received a stronger, more resilient, tougher, and even more beautiful person inside and out, if that’s even possible. Now you were a warrior, a survivor.

And make no mistake, beating breast cancer had nothing to do with you and everything to do with you. The doctors stepped in for the surgery, and the results were positive, in our favor, big time. They took control and we lucked out. But when the last stitch was sewn, the last drain removed, the final pill popped, then the medical book closed. The next story to be written was up to you. Where do you go from here?

I’ll tell you where and it’s not down any yellow brick road. You got up, you got out, and you got on with it. Debbie you showed our family, you showed everyone, how it’s done. Our lives, mine, Sophie and Emily’s, barely skipped a beat. How is that possible? It seems impossible, yet ordinary people do extraordinary things all the time. It was only possible because the person who took the punch, got right back up and carried on. Deb, I don’t know what we would do without you. You continue to amaze me and your girls every single day. You gave up so much and yet were able to still give so much in return. You exemplify what is right about life, those who face adversity can truly become more than they ever were before. You had every right to go the other way… breast cancer is a bitch. So unfair. It’s a shame, that you, or any woman should have to suffer just because what makes you different can, without warning, be ravaged by bad cells. The very thing that physically make you female, suddenly makes you sick. It’s a f*ing crime.

But there were few tears here. Plenty of tired days and nights. Plenty of pain and physical suffering. But you my love, kept most of it out of sight. Instead you put on the brave face and showed the sense of humor which endears you to so many. And g-d forbid you could ever let what happened cause you to skip even a step from being there for whatever your girls needed. You stayed steadfast and on course with life’s most important reponsibility. Sophie and Emily are who they are because of you, and believe me they have learned so much, even if they don’t show it yet. How could they not? Their Mom is one of a kind.

So it’s time to celebrate, to celebrate life and how it continues to be this crazy ride. One Year Cancer Free, the words sound good to say, good to hear, and as good as it gets. And on the cusp of another Mother’s Day Weekend I simply want to say thank you. I think I’ve done a fairly good job over the past year of making sure my words would be something we would remember. My words had power, especially for me, because without the chance to write, to share our story, and to let my feelings pour from my heart and onto these pages, I’m not sure what I would have done.

But sometimes words fall short. And this is one of those times. I could write for days, months, or years and never be able to truly express how I feel about you and what you mean to my life. I might not always say it either, but I can only hope from this past year, from my posts, from my actions, you are beginning to get the point.

We go back a long way. I’ve known you since you were in your teens. I fell in love with you when you were in your twenties. I’ve admired you for what seems like a hundred years. And I will respect you for all eternity.

One Year Cancer Free. Here we are.
I love you.
Mark

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Comments

  1. wendy brown says

    May 10, 2013 at 7:49 am

    Jason mraz sings A Beautiful Mess and the song ends with these lyrics.
    Here we are, here we are
    Here we are, we’re still here

    And what a beautiful mess this is
    It’s like taking a guess when the only answer is yes

    And through timeless words and priceless pictures
    We’ll fly like birds not of this earth
    And tides they turn and hearts disfigure
    But that’s no concern when we’re wounded together
    And we tore our dresses and stained our shirts
    But it’s nice today, oh, the wait was so worth it

    Read more: JASON MRAZ – A BEAUTIFUL MESS LYRICS

    Happy and Healthy Mothers day to Debbie

    Reply
  2. barry says

    May 10, 2013 at 2:34 pm

    wow!!!! So beautifully written!!! Happy Anniversary to you both!

    Reply
    • Mark Brodinsky says

      May 10, 2013 at 3:25 pm

      Thanks Cuz!

      Reply
  3. rcommodari says

    May 10, 2013 at 8:15 pm

    Mark,

    Words cannot express what an incredible piece of writing that was and what an awesome story you shared. You shared from the heart and when you share or speak from the heart everyone buys in my friend. Sound familiar?

    Rob C

    Reply
    • Mark Brodinsky says

      May 10, 2013 at 9:54 pm

      Thanks Rob. You are an inspiration. I am honored to have met you and call you my friend. The best is yet to come.

      Mark

      Reply
  4. Gayle Blank says

    May 12, 2013 at 5:47 am

    Happy 1 year and Happy Mothers Day
    to Deb!!!! What a beautifully written piece
    of art !!! The tears just continue to flow
    when reading your incredible story!!

    Reply
    • Mark Brodinsky says

      May 12, 2013 at 6:34 am

      Thanks for all your support Gayle. Happy Mother’s Day to you!!

      Reply

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Mark Brodinsky
Emmy Award Winner, 1996

Ever thought about writing a book? check this out!

Blog Reviews

Love seeing new blogs hit the ground running like this one (by a dad no less), but I also urge anyone vaguely interested in blogging to stay tuned, I am. Good luck on your journey – glad that I am along for the ride.

Rachel Blaufeld

Great blog Mark! I always appreciate reading what you have to say. You are very gifted and talented and hopefully someday you’ll not just blog, but write a book.

 Stephen Koncurat

I’m definitely along for the ride. We’ve all seen how much damage the written word can inflict. More positive writers are needed. And I love how you are using your personal experiences – those with your wife and children – and your gift of writing to open eyes and to inspire others.

Victoria Endicott

Absolutely beautifully written! The girls in your life must be very proud of you. Thanks for sharing Mark, I look forward to reading more!

Gina Glick Jolson

Very shortly this site will be famous amid all blogging and site-building users, due to it’s pleasant posts.

Leila Galloway

Absolutely beautiful! Are you at all thinking of penning a book? You’ve got a fan base out there that really thinks you should Mark. You write so eloquently. Glad that I got onto this site.

Marilyn Lefkowitz

Mark, You are truly a gifted writer and obviously, a special father and husband . Always a delight to read your words.

I’m speechless…beautiful words flow from your heart just like a gentle waterfall into a tranquil stream… thank you so much for the friend request I was blessed the day I clicked confirm.

Lynne Turner Dorsey

From your first writing in 4th grade entitled “People” which was published in the school newspaper, you have always been able to write. Never more so than when you started “Caringbridge” and now your blog, everyone who reads says what a wonderful writer you are. Our DREAM for you is to become an author and encourage people every day. You are by the far the best and we hope and pray you reach your dream.

Bonnie Brodinsky

I know you always thank us for reading but I would like to say thanks for writing.

Stuart Abell

Great piece. You are an inspiration!

Rob Commodari

Mark I just wanted to let you know that you are succeeding in your “ultimate goal”. I have gained so much from your blogs. I look forward to reading them for the special lift that they give me. Thank you.

Amy F.

I love waking up and starting my day with my coffee and your blog! It a great way to start my day with positive uplifting thoughts!! It puts me in a positive frame of mind throughout the day and allows me to reflect on my personal life, make changes, and grow !!!

Gayle Blank

You are quite talented Mark. Thanks for sharing!

Cynthia

I always look forward to your Blog Mark. Thanks for sharing and as you always do, make it a great / remarkable Day!

Chuck Connolly

Thanks for your Blog Mark. It is fun, encouraging and a nice break from a day full of ups and downs.

Jackie Hetrick

With my busy schedule, there is (sadly) little time for reading. But I have two must-reads every time I come across them, the sports section and your blogs. Keep inspiring and following your dream!

Ed Nemec

Mark, you are a truly remarkable individual. You do speak from your heart, I can’t wait to read your book. You are an incredible writer.

Debbie Press

Mark, I am glad I clicked on your post this morning, which lead me to your writing, your goal.
Would like to connect. This speaks to me.

Aileen Braverman

I can’t wait to read the book. I have followed all the blogs and feel so good that I know u guys. You make me cry but you make me laugh too. All the very best to you!

Beverlee Rendelman

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WOW!!! It Takes 2 is a must read for anyone who has known someone diagnosed with cancer or other life threatening disease. This is the real story of a family lead by an incredible woman, Debbie Brodinsky, who took radical steps to beat the breast cancer beast. The story is told by her husband, Mark Brodinsky, through journal entries he kept starting with diagnosis through one year cancer free. This author's unique ability to pour his heart out onto the page draws you in from the beginning and holds you until the very end.

Thanks to Mark and Debbie Brodinsky for this gift...I have a new perspective on what it means to be a breast cancer survivor. You are a hero, Debbie Brodinsky!

TeeBThree
September 25, 2013

ittakes2_reviews_2

This book gives a heartfelt, in depth description of what it is like to go through breast cancer with the one you love. It is beautifully written and I felt as though I was living it with them! I highly recommend this book!

Jgs17
September 24, 2013

ittakes2_reviews_2

In It Takes 2, Mark Brodinsky windows us into his world where his wife, the cancer patient, is not the only victim. Part journal, part roadmap, It Takes 2 goes to the real humanity of facing the mortality of one's better half. Mark's candid perspective, love, and fierce intention resonate with hope in a story which is about much more than cancer. Mark himself is perhaps the most heroic character for the way he appreciates this life and so many of us in it...as he says, "thanks for caring."

Réné Pallace
September 24, 2013

ittakes2_reviews_2

It Takes Two: A Spouse's Story by Mark Brodinsky should be read by every person who is experiencing serious illness or injury or by a loved one of someone who is experiencing either of those situations. The book is an eloquent testament to the power of love and the healing energy derived from the belief that things will get better. There is not one word of "poor me" from the author or his wife who suffered breast cancer and the radical surgery she elected to have to beat the cancer. Rather, the book is a celebration of the courage displayed by them both in seeing it through.

The book also encourages readers to speak and write down their true feelings and be validated in them. John Mackovic writing in the Palm Springs, CA Desert Sun on November 2, 2013 quoted author and artist Doe Zantamata who said, " To be happy, you don't have to do anything new. You just have to remember how to believe again...Believe everything good is possible. Believe in your dreams. Believe in people. Believe in love. But most of all...believe in yourself." The author, his wife, their family and extended family and friends never stopped believing in his wife's recovery, and I think, in themselves. Read this book and believe.

Paul A. Riecks
November 4, 2013

ittakes2_reviews_2

This book is a must read for anyone with a family member with breast cancer. It takes you through the spouse's perspective from diagnosis to recovery. Mark journaled his wife's journey and put all of his emotions out there. It is beautifully written and inspiring to anyone going through breast cancer. Thank you, Mark for sharing Debbie's story.

Jmu1109
October 23, 2013

ittakes2_reviews_2

A friend recommended this book. This was a great perspective of a man standing beside his partner and passing along to the reader fear, hope, useful information and a broader story than his own. I loved Vinnie the tattoo artist. This is a great book. Thanks for sharing, Mark and "thanks for caring"

Blahsan

ittakes2_reviews_2

This book is a must read. What sets this book apart from other books about surviving breast cancer is that it is told by the husband and his point of view, not from the survivor. At times sad, at times poignant but even through the worst of it you can always feel the love he has for his wife, her strength and the strength of their extended family and friends. The posts that are included from their friends and family lets you really into the heart and strength of the family. I would recommend this book to anyone who is currently going through this, whether you are the person or the caregiver. I also recommend this book to anyone who has a friend that has been or is currently going through their fight now. It was an eye opener for me.

L. Bogash
Seven Valleys, PA

ittakes2_reviews_2

There isn't a shortage of books about breast cancer, but most are written from the perspective of the person who has battled cancer or a physician or other expert. What an enlightening experience to read about breast cancer from a husband and caregiver's perspective! Not only does the author give us insight into his wife's experience and emotions, but he openly shares and reveals his love, compassion, support, and, yes, sometimes anger at the disease as he stands by his wife's side during their journey to beat the beast. Your story may not be the same, but I guarantee if you have a loved one battling cancer, you won't go wrong reading It Takes 2.

 PattiM
September 25, 2013

 

ittakes2_reviews_2

From the moment I opened this book I never stopped reading. Mark invites the reader to come along on this journey that his family went through. I cried, laughed and learned so much. This book will give comfort and knowledge to those going through similar situations. Most importantly, Mark and his family never give up. They get knocked down and get right back up. They fought cancer together and with their strength, determination and will to prevail... They do!

 Jenny Schloss 

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