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The Sunday Series (76), with Mark Brodinsky

August 2, 2015 By markbrodinsky 1 Comment

It’s life. You live it – or at least you try – and when faced with circumstances which appear to go beyond what most others have to deal with, you take what is in your control and give it everything you’ve got. It’s all you can do and live with the knowledge that you tried your best, so win or lose, it is a life for which you can be proud.

Everyone has a story and this is The Sunday Series.


The Sunday Series (76): Borrowed Life

“Hi I’m Mia. I,m 45 years old and currently living in Maryland. I have a beautiful daughter (Alhea) and am loving every second of my life. Everyday is beautiful to me.” Those are the first few sentences of Mia McDonald’s website. Life is beautiful, because Mia lives it in gratitude, awareness and appreciation that each of us, as she believes, is on borrowed time.

Mia was looking, as she says in her own words, “extra pretty” on the morning of February 7th, 2007. She was wearing a brand new sweater she had just purchased, and a new heavy coat. A native of the Philippines, Mia had come to America just a few years earlier and only six months ago she had earned the right to drive, having obtained her license from the MVA in Maryland. But Mia was still restricted from driving downtown to work at her job at TransAmerica, so she drove instead to a light rail stop at BWI airport near her home and caught the train into Baltimore.

Mia says the light rail stop was rarely crowded and on this day there might have been only one or two people waiting for the train. She got out of her car with her coffee and her pocketbook and was talking to her sister on the phone. Mia’s sister called her every morning to make sure Mia made it to the train stop safely, just checking in as any loving sibling might do. The train arrived around 7am each work day, and on this day Mia could see the train in the distance so she told her sister she had to end the call and get to the other side of the tracks so she could hop on the light rail.

Usually Mia did hop, right over the tracks, ignoring the pedestrian walkway to get to the side where the riders stood to wait for the light rail train to arrive. But on this cold February morning, following a snowfall the previous night, Mia decided to do it right and take the approved “safe” path to cross the tracks. Carrying her coffee and her bag Mia made her way to the walkway. She could still see the train far approaching, but it was still far enough away in the distance for her to cross the tracks – it’s the last thing Mia remembers before waking up in the ambulance.

“When I woke up I thought I was just taking a nap on the train, but why was it not stopping? I looked up and realized someone was cutting off my new clothes.  I asked the woman sitting next to me why and she told me, ‘you got hit by the light rail train’. That’s all she said. Then I passed out again.”

mia injured 2

Lucky for Mia the train was slowing down and approaching the station when it hit her. Although for Mia the details are still sketchy she knows she was dragged by the train a short distance, her right foot caught underneath. For five days the doctors at University of Maryland Shock Trauma did the best they could to save the toes on that foot, doing multiple surgeries and skin graphs. But in the end even the doctors had to admit there would be no way to save them all. They told Mia two or three of her toes were so badly damaged there was only a 50/50 chance the others could survive without the risk of severe infection.

The decision was made to amputate half of Mia’s right foot. Her broken pelvis, fractured ribs and the rest of her bruised and battered body would have to heal on its own.

A few weeks at Shock Trauma, a week in intensive rehab and then home for more than a month of in-home rehabilitation, it would be up to Mia to accept her new fate and to walk again.

mia foot

“I never realized it would be so difficult to walk without my toes”, says Mia. All my weight depended on my left foot, my right foot was almost useless, I couldn’t do anything without my left foot. It was really hard to accept at the time. I can’t believe I lost my toes, and realize my whole life was affected. When I started trying to walk I had so much trouble, leaning on the wall, not wanting to try. The nurse came to help me in my home and at first I was scared of her because she was tough, but it turns out in a good way. She said to me, ‘If you don’t want to walk you will be classified as disabled, but you are NOT disabled.’ She encouraged me to walk, pushed me to do it, she was excellent.”

Mia needed the encouragement. She still had an 11-year-old daughter to help raise. Mia had moved in with her sister, not far from her home. Her daughter Alhea was still living back at the house with her father, so she could stay in school while her mom went through rehab. Mia says when Alhea came to visit she hid her emotions from her, wanting her daughter to be OK. “I didn’t show her how I felt most of the time”, Mia said. “So if I cried I cried in the bathroom, making sure Alhea couldn’t see.”

mia and daughter

Mia was given eight months of partial disability time (and checks) from her job at TransAmerica and knowing she had a deadline to get back to work she worked hard on her comeback.  After a few months in a wheelchair, she learned to walk again with a special boot and she took a course to learn to drive with her left foot, passing a special test which qualified her as a partially disabled driver. She wanted to make sure she retained her freedom and NOT rely on others to transport her around.

During this time Mia also realized she needed to give back. She applied and was accepted to serve as a volunteer for Habitat for Humanity, to help rebuild, or build homes for the less fortunate. Mia also did some work with her mother who served as a caregiver for Sunrise Assisted Living. Mia realized from her own experience how important it is to have someone to help you when you are in need – and loved caring for others – especially the seniors trying to make their way through the late stages of life.

habitat mia and senior

Mia applied to open her own home care business but was eventually turned down, not having the resources to make it happen. But her spirit and her desire to do more than simply live out life without making a difference was not to be deterred. She was upset with her setback to open the home care business but still felt like she could “make something happen.”

Then something did. Sometimes it’s the simplest thing, an awareness of what is around you, the desire in your heart, the quest and thirst to become more which makes you take notice of something which has been there all along. For Mia it was the article on her wall at work. Mia says: “I came to work (at Transamerica) that day with my boot on and that morning I was really tired after I delivered the mail all over the building. My leg is hurting so bad. I sat down and looked up at the article on the wall that said life is borrowed. I was feeling sorry for myself. I wish my toes had not been cut off, I wish I was not working this type of job and going through all of this and when I read that title again that life is borrowed it touched my heart and my head – why am I complaining? I am still alive!”

I took the phrase and I simply reversed it to Borrowed Life. I had some shirts embroidered with that phrase and people started taking notice and asking where they could get one. I enrolled in a course for women entrepreneurs in Baltimore and after three months of extensive training I graduated with a business entity: Borrowed Life.

borrowed life shirts

The phrase has meaning to Mia of course, but she tells a story which validates its deep meaning to others as well.

On the last day of her class each student was required to give a presentation about their business with a trio of visitors in attendance. On this day it was the Vice-President of Sun Trust Bank (where Mia has her car loan), a higher-up at State Farm Insurance (where Mia has her car and home insurance) and one of the directors of the Maryland Transportation Authority (the same state organization that oversees operation of the light rail trains, it was one of those trains which changed Mia’s life!).  For Mia the coincidence was almost surreal. She says despite her challenge with the English language to explain her story and her business idea,  she could tell each person was interested, except for the VP of Sun Trust Bank who paid little attention.

After the final day of class Mia reached out to all three individuals by e-mail to thank them for coming. All replied back to her, except for the VP from Sun Trust Bank. But after a few months Mia got an e-mail from the gentleman. The reason he had not responded – he had been rushed to the hospital where doctors found a blood clot in is brain, they had to open him up and remove it. Suddenly the same person who had ignored Mia’s Borrowed Life business thought it was a great idea, he said he could relate to it and offered her the opportunity for funding.

Another borrowed life coming full circle.

borrowed life apparel

While Mia continues to work her job at a pharmaceutical company and continues her volunteer work at Habitat for Humanity she is actively pushing to get Borrowed Life, her mission and her message out to the masses. There is apparel and accessories which can be purchased starting this October at (http://www.borrowedlife.org/) and Mia hopes this could become a worldwide business. But whatever the outcome the lesson learned is clear.

www.borrowedlife.org

www.borrowedlife.org

“I learned we don’t have any protection in life”, says Mia. “Anything you can see, or touch, or feel, even our own lives are not ours – it is crystal clear that anything can be taken from you in a second. My hope for the business is that this phrase really gets people to pay attention to learn and realize what are the most important things in their lives. Look in the mirror and you can sense it. Life is not perfect, we all have obstacles and challenges, but everything is temporary.”

So take Mia’s advice, borrow the best you can from your own life and then go out and make a difference.

mia profile

Until next time, thanks for taking the time

Mark

Mark Brodinsky, Author, Blogger, Speaker, Emmy Award Winner, Field Sales Leader for USHEALTH Advisors
(http://www.prweb.com/releases/markbrodinsky/072015/prweb12862708.htm)

Author: The #1 Amazon Best-Seller: It Takes 2. Surviving Breast Cancer: A Spouse’s Story
(http://www.spouses-story.com/)

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Mark Brodinsky
Emmy Award Winner, 1996

Ever thought about writing a book? check this out!

Blog Reviews

Love seeing new blogs hit the ground running like this one (by a dad no less), but I also urge anyone vaguely interested in blogging to stay tuned, I am. Good luck on your journey – glad that I am along for the ride.

Rachel Blaufeld

Great blog Mark! I always appreciate reading what you have to say. You are very gifted and talented and hopefully someday you’ll not just blog, but write a book.

 Stephen Koncurat

I’m definitely along for the ride. We’ve all seen how much damage the written word can inflict. More positive writers are needed. And I love how you are using your personal experiences – those with your wife and children – and your gift of writing to open eyes and to inspire others.

Victoria Endicott

Absolutely beautifully written! The girls in your life must be very proud of you. Thanks for sharing Mark, I look forward to reading more!

Gina Glick Jolson

Very shortly this site will be famous amid all blogging and site-building users, due to it’s pleasant posts.

Leila Galloway

Absolutely beautiful! Are you at all thinking of penning a book? You’ve got a fan base out there that really thinks you should Mark. You write so eloquently. Glad that I got onto this site.

Marilyn Lefkowitz

Mark, You are truly a gifted writer and obviously, a special father and husband . Always a delight to read your words.

I’m speechless…beautiful words flow from your heart just like a gentle waterfall into a tranquil stream… thank you so much for the friend request I was blessed the day I clicked confirm.

Lynne Turner Dorsey

From your first writing in 4th grade entitled “People” which was published in the school newspaper, you have always been able to write. Never more so than when you started “Caringbridge” and now your blog, everyone who reads says what a wonderful writer you are. Our DREAM for you is to become an author and encourage people every day. You are by the far the best and we hope and pray you reach your dream.

Bonnie Brodinsky

I know you always thank us for reading but I would like to say thanks for writing.

Stuart Abell

Great piece. You are an inspiration!

Rob Commodari

Mark I just wanted to let you know that you are succeeding in your “ultimate goal”. I have gained so much from your blogs. I look forward to reading them for the special lift that they give me. Thank you.

Amy F.

I love waking up and starting my day with my coffee and your blog! It a great way to start my day with positive uplifting thoughts!! It puts me in a positive frame of mind throughout the day and allows me to reflect on my personal life, make changes, and grow !!!

Gayle Blank

You are quite talented Mark. Thanks for sharing!

Cynthia

I always look forward to your Blog Mark. Thanks for sharing and as you always do, make it a great / remarkable Day!

Chuck Connolly

Thanks for your Blog Mark. It is fun, encouraging and a nice break from a day full of ups and downs.

Jackie Hetrick

With my busy schedule, there is (sadly) little time for reading. But I have two must-reads every time I come across them, the sports section and your blogs. Keep inspiring and following your dream!

Ed Nemec

Mark, you are a truly remarkable individual. You do speak from your heart, I can’t wait to read your book. You are an incredible writer.

Debbie Press

Mark, I am glad I clicked on your post this morning, which lead me to your writing, your goal.
Would like to connect. This speaks to me.

Aileen Braverman

I can’t wait to read the book. I have followed all the blogs and feel so good that I know u guys. You make me cry but you make me laugh too. All the very best to you!

Beverlee Rendelman

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WOW!!! It Takes 2 is a must read for anyone who has known someone diagnosed with cancer or other life threatening disease. This is the real story of a family lead by an incredible woman, Debbie Brodinsky, who took radical steps to beat the breast cancer beast. The story is told by her husband, Mark Brodinsky, through journal entries he kept starting with diagnosis through one year cancer free. This author's unique ability to pour his heart out onto the page draws you in from the beginning and holds you until the very end.

Thanks to Mark and Debbie Brodinsky for this gift...I have a new perspective on what it means to be a breast cancer survivor. You are a hero, Debbie Brodinsky!

TeeBThree
September 25, 2013

ittakes2_reviews_2

This book gives a heartfelt, in depth description of what it is like to go through breast cancer with the one you love. It is beautifully written and I felt as though I was living it with them! I highly recommend this book!

Jgs17
September 24, 2013

ittakes2_reviews_2

In It Takes 2, Mark Brodinsky windows us into his world where his wife, the cancer patient, is not the only victim. Part journal, part roadmap, It Takes 2 goes to the real humanity of facing the mortality of one's better half. Mark's candid perspective, love, and fierce intention resonate with hope in a story which is about much more than cancer. Mark himself is perhaps the most heroic character for the way he appreciates this life and so many of us in it...as he says, "thanks for caring."

Réné Pallace
September 24, 2013

ittakes2_reviews_2

It Takes Two: A Spouse's Story by Mark Brodinsky should be read by every person who is experiencing serious illness or injury or by a loved one of someone who is experiencing either of those situations. The book is an eloquent testament to the power of love and the healing energy derived from the belief that things will get better. There is not one word of "poor me" from the author or his wife who suffered breast cancer and the radical surgery she elected to have to beat the cancer. Rather, the book is a celebration of the courage displayed by them both in seeing it through.

The book also encourages readers to speak and write down their true feelings and be validated in them. John Mackovic writing in the Palm Springs, CA Desert Sun on November 2, 2013 quoted author and artist Doe Zantamata who said, " To be happy, you don't have to do anything new. You just have to remember how to believe again...Believe everything good is possible. Believe in your dreams. Believe in people. Believe in love. But most of all...believe in yourself." The author, his wife, their family and extended family and friends never stopped believing in his wife's recovery, and I think, in themselves. Read this book and believe.

Paul A. Riecks
November 4, 2013

ittakes2_reviews_2

This book is a must read for anyone with a family member with breast cancer. It takes you through the spouse's perspective from diagnosis to recovery. Mark journaled his wife's journey and put all of his emotions out there. It is beautifully written and inspiring to anyone going through breast cancer. Thank you, Mark for sharing Debbie's story.

Jmu1109
October 23, 2013

ittakes2_reviews_2

A friend recommended this book. This was a great perspective of a man standing beside his partner and passing along to the reader fear, hope, useful information and a broader story than his own. I loved Vinnie the tattoo artist. This is a great book. Thanks for sharing, Mark and "thanks for caring"

Blahsan

ittakes2_reviews_2

This book is a must read. What sets this book apart from other books about surviving breast cancer is that it is told by the husband and his point of view, not from the survivor. At times sad, at times poignant but even through the worst of it you can always feel the love he has for his wife, her strength and the strength of their extended family and friends. The posts that are included from their friends and family lets you really into the heart and strength of the family. I would recommend this book to anyone who is currently going through this, whether you are the person or the caregiver. I also recommend this book to anyone who has a friend that has been or is currently going through their fight now. It was an eye opener for me.

L. Bogash
Seven Valleys, PA

ittakes2_reviews_2

There isn't a shortage of books about breast cancer, but most are written from the perspective of the person who has battled cancer or a physician or other expert. What an enlightening experience to read about breast cancer from a husband and caregiver's perspective! Not only does the author give us insight into his wife's experience and emotions, but he openly shares and reveals his love, compassion, support, and, yes, sometimes anger at the disease as he stands by his wife's side during their journey to beat the beast. Your story may not be the same, but I guarantee if you have a loved one battling cancer, you won't go wrong reading It Takes 2.

 PattiM
September 25, 2013

 

ittakes2_reviews_2

From the moment I opened this book I never stopped reading. Mark invites the reader to come along on this journey that his family went through. I cried, laughed and learned so much. This book will give comfort and knowledge to those going through similar situations. Most importantly, Mark and his family never give up. They get knocked down and get right back up. They fought cancer together and with their strength, determination and will to prevail... They do!

 Jenny Schloss 

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