Life & The Sunday Series

Find your why and find your way. Become more.

  • About Mark Brodinsky
  • Contact
  • The Higher Shelf!
  • Home

Need inspiration to find your why and your way?

Join the Tribe Today!

The Sunday Series (60), with Mark Brodinsky

March 8, 2015 By markbrodinsky 7 Comments

We all have something to say. Everyone has a story. Yours might just change someone’s life. The secret to making that happen? Speak from the heart…

I am Mark Brodinsky and this is The Sunday Series.

————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————-

The Sunday Series (60): A Single Tear

ken orange crush

In nearly a quarter-of-a-century together, it was the first time Cecilia had ever seen Ken cry. She told her husband she loved him and that she knew he loved her too. Unable to speak, Ken nodded in agreement, and a single tear slowly rolled down his cheek.

It was all going to be OK now.

Up until that time it was OK.  Ken and Cecilia Volkman were living in the dream home they bought just four years earlier, a house they gutted and rebuilt together and now were enjoying their lives, along with their 14-year-old son Mason, in Timonium, Maryland. Ken, a truck driver for Durrett Sheppard Steel Direct, was well-respected, a great family man, always the calm, confident man of the house as husband and father. And at 50 years of age, Ken was in great health.

But back in September Ken said he was having some sinus issues and asked his wife to make an appointment with the doctor. The doc told Ken his sinuses were clear, he was just having some cluster headaches, common in middle-aged men, but it couldn’t hurt to have an MRI. The test was scheduled on a Thursday and the following Friday morning Ken’s phone was ringing – he should make an appointment with a specialist as soon as possible, the MRI showed something wasn’t right. Cecilia made an appointment the following Monday with a neurosurgeon and as soon as the doctor put Ken’s MRI picture in front of the light, Cecilia’s heart went dark.

ken tumor

The mass in his brain was huge. The doctor said it was so large he couldn’t believe Ken was even walking, he should be having seizures by now. Surgery would be scheduled by Thursday, the mass had to be removed. The surgery, supposed to take about four hours, went on for more than double that time. The tumor, described as sticky, was a challenge for the surgeons, literally having to be scraped away from Ken’s brain. Because of the intense nature of the surgery, the doctors left Ken in a medically induced coma until Sunday.

ken in surgery

On Sunday morning Cecilia was by Ken’s bedside, as the doctors dialed down the sedation – waiting – hoping that Ken would be Ken – that he would know who he was – who she was – that he would remember their son Mason. “He saw me and I could tell he knew who I was”, says Cecilia. “I just started crying. I told him what happened. He tried to say something but he was intubated and couldn’t speak. That’s when I told him I loved him, and I said you love me too. He nodded yes and a single tear rolled down his cheek. I never saw him cry in his life.”

The follow-up tests were good news. Ken’s nerves were intact, the surgeons had done a fantastic job, nothing was damaged. As Cecilia says, “Ken was perfect.” The road ahead was clear, some physical therapy for Ken and a daily changing of the dressing on Ken’s skull, which Cecilia watched the doctors do on Monday morning, since it would be her responsibility once Ken was home to make that happen. On that same Monday the couple finally let their son Mason visit Ken in the hospital – Cecilia had shielded Mason from seeing his father in a coma – but now Ken was awake and the reunion was a great one, all fist-bumps and father-son bonding.

Cecilia called the hospital late Monday night to check in and the nurses told her all was good… “really, really good”, says Cecilia. The following Tuesday morning Cecilia checked in again, being told Ken had a good night sleep and was going to be moved into the step-down unit, with a goal of being released from the hospital by Friday. Cecilia, an agent for Erie Insurance, had work to do that morning, helping a customer with a homeowner’s policy and so she decided she would go to see Ken in the early afternoon.

During her work appointment Cecilia’s phone started lighting up. Not one to normally let the personal life interfere with her work, Cecilia told her client her husband was in the hospital and it looked like she had missed a call. When Cecilia called back – she could hear the urgency in the nurses voice – “they started yelling”, says Cecilia, “Mrs. Volkman, you need to hurry up and get here we think your husband threw a blood clot and we are putting him on life support.”

A good 30 minutes from the hospital, Cecilia was in a panic. Though saying she could drive, her customer insisted he would take Cecilia to the hospital. It turns out she needed the help, since on the way to the car Cecilia collapsed, her customer lifting her up and putting her in his car. As soon as the car made it to the hospital front door, Cecilia jumped out. “I ran in screaming”, says Cecilia. “They gave me a pass immediately and I ran up to Ken’s unit, running, yelling, ‘my husband is dying. I ran right through security and then I could hear the nurses say, ‘here she comes'”.  A team of doctors forcibly grabbed Cecilia and stopped her from running into Ken’s room. They sat her in a chair. “Is my husband alive?”, she asked. “The doctors told me no, Ken didn’t make it. I just fell apart…” Once allowed in to the room, Cecilia just held on to Ken for hours. If not for her friend Jamie, who Cecilia says she could spend a year explaining what Jamie has meant to her in this tragic period of her life, she might never have been able to leave the hospital that day, she just couldn’t bare to let Ken go.

Cecilia's Best Friend Jamie

Cecilia’s Best Friend Jamie

Cecilia says as hard as it is to keep re-telling the story, “every time I do I take a piece of the pain and get rid of it”, she says.  Now nearly six months after losing her husband, just talking about it and the passage of time are helping her to heal. When someone you love becomes a memory, that memory becomes a treasure. It’s the memories of what she and Ken and Mason shared, the celebration of their lives together that is helping make her stronger every day.

ken family pic

And Cecilia is doing what she can to keep Ken’s memory alive. This past January she visited Ken’s former co-workers at Durrett Sheppard Steel. She was there for their quarterly safety meeting at 4:30 am, to tell the men how much they meant to Ken and offer them a Tree of Life Charm which holds pieces of Ken’s ashes. The charm can hang from the rear view mirror – and the men lined up to get one and to give Cecilia a hug, including the driver who had taken Ken’s place at the company.  Ken’s boss later told Cecilia how much her gesture meant to the guys and how now they have an “extra piece of safety with them”, since Ken was all about safety first, at work and at home.

tree of life charm

Cecilia says Ken was such a great family man. “He never wanted to go out with the guys after work”, she says. “He always wanted to come home to be with his family.” And he took care of his family as well. “Ken had life insurance”, says Cecilia. “Because of that life insurance I can keep my house. Can you imagine losing your dream home four years after you bought and rebuilt it because there was no life insurance? I went on a grief message board after Ken’s death and half the posts were about people losing their homes. I have enough to worry about and I really didn’t want to worry about losing my house, or not being able to pay the bills. The day Ken died and they told me they were taking me home I couldn’t imagine walking into the house without him there, now I can’t imagine selling it because it meant so much to him.”

ken's dream house

The importance and meaning of Ken’s life is also being launched toward the heavens now and then. Shortly after Ken died a friend of Cecilia’s attended the Rise Festival in Arizona and learned about a Chinese Wish Lantern. She immediately told Cecilia about it and Cecilia ordered a dozen of them. On these lanterns you can write your personal message to your loved one and then launch it into the sky. The lanterns float in the sky for miles, heading toward the heavens, with messages of love. “You are basically writing on the lantern and then in a way letting your loved one go” says Cecilia. “They are very cool. It’s like going to heaven. I need this.”

chinese wish lantern chinese wish lanterns

Cecilia says right after Ken died she thought there was no way she was going to make it. “There was no way I could carry on, move on, or breathe”, she says. “And it actually scared me because I have a son to raise, but I really never thought I would be able to breathe again. And it was a good two months before I didn’t cry every single day. When people ask me now I tell them when someone asks to help you, take it, because they really mean it. If not for the help from others I wouldn’t have made it. But you get stronger every day. I am stable now, I have to do it. I’m stronger than I want to be, but you have to tap into it and trust yourself.”

Up until that moment in the hospital Cecilia had never seen Ken cry. But then he shed that single tear, the one Cecilia will hold in her heart, forever.

ken and family ravens

Until next time, thanks for taking the time.

Mark

Mark Brodinsky, Author, Blogger, Speaker, Emmy-Award Winner, Financial Services

Author: The #1 Amazon Best-Seller: It Takes 2. Surviving Breast Cancer: A Spouse’s Story
(http://www.spouses-story.com/)

Sign up for free to receive posts from It’s Just About… Life & The Sunday Series by entering your name and e-mail on the blog. Posts will be sent directly to your inbox.

For ideas, feedback or comments on The Sunday Series, e-mail markbrodinsky@gmail.com, leave a comment on the blog, or contact me on social media.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Related

{total}Tweet
{total}+1
{total}Like
{total}Share
{total}Pin

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Top Posts & Pages

  • The Sunday Series (37), with Mark Brodinsky
  • The Sunday Series (122), with Mark Brodinsky
  • Time vs Money: It's Just About... Life
  • The Sunday Series (143), with Mark Brodinsky
  • Great, Scott: It's Just About... Life
  • The Sunday Series (58), with Mark Brodinsky
  • A Rose Is A Rose: It's Just About... Life
  • The Sunday Series (66), with Mark Brodinsky
  • The Sunday Series (100), with Mark Brodinsky
  • Once I Was 7 Years Old: It's Just About... Life

Comments

  1. Beth Ritter says

    March 8, 2015 at 10:03 am

    And a tear is rolling down my cheek now. Speaks to the strength of am amazing woman and to the strength and necessity for life insurance. I can’t imagine losing my husband and then losing our home.

    Reply
  2. cecilia volkman says

    March 8, 2015 at 11:55 am

    Mark, THANK YOU SO MUCH for telling the story so beautifully. I can’t stop crying. Sometimes I can’t believe this is my life, but it is. Everyone has the strength in them to handle adversity, but it can seem so hard to find it in yourself to trust yourself. This has taught me to trust in myself and know I can handle anything. Thank you for putting my thoughts into a story I can hang on to. Ken would have loved it too! Thank you again from the bottom of my heart.

    Reply
    • markbrodinsky says

      March 8, 2015 at 12:10 pm

      You are welcome Cecilia. Thanks for having the courage to tell your story. You are an inspiration.

      Reply
  3. Heather Seibel says

    March 8, 2015 at 12:59 pm

    What a wonderful tribute to a wonderful man. I still think of Ken and if I had to describe him, it was just that he was such a nice guy. It also happens he married the best girl. Still thinking of you too Cecilia, we all love you.

    Reply
  4. Jamie Howard-Sears says

    March 8, 2015 at 2:18 pm

    Fantastic story and amazing strength from Cecilia and Mason. May the sadness from that day be replaced each day by a better memory of the fun and love you shared.

    Reply
  5. Jonathan williams says

    March 8, 2015 at 2:41 pm

    Mark, I’ve known Cecilia and Ken for many years. Ken was a very humble man, who was so full of life. That picture of Ken with the Orange Crush in his hand sums it up. Always smiling! In this business we get to meet so many wonderful people, I am honored to have known Ken, and continue to know Cecilia.

    Reply
  6. Bonnie Blas Kashnow says

    March 8, 2015 at 6:16 pm

    You told the story beautifully Mark. Cecilia you are such a brave woman. I know you have so many memories to cherish. You were so lucky to have such a wonderful husband and father to your son. We should all remember to do even small kindnesses for someone whenever we can. Little things mean so much.

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Search over 500 posts, including The Sunday Series

Get all My Latest News & Offers
Introduce yourself with your name and email below

#1 Best Seller on Amazon

Click to order your copy today!

The Book Trailer

Mark Brodinsky
Emmy Award Winner, 1996

Ever thought about writing a book? check this out!

Blog Reviews

Love seeing new blogs hit the ground running like this one (by a dad no less), but I also urge anyone vaguely interested in blogging to stay tuned, I am. Good luck on your journey – glad that I am along for the ride.

Rachel Blaufeld

Great blog Mark! I always appreciate reading what you have to say. You are very gifted and talented and hopefully someday you’ll not just blog, but write a book.

 Stephen Koncurat

I’m definitely along for the ride. We’ve all seen how much damage the written word can inflict. More positive writers are needed. And I love how you are using your personal experiences – those with your wife and children – and your gift of writing to open eyes and to inspire others.

Victoria Endicott

Absolutely beautifully written! The girls in your life must be very proud of you. Thanks for sharing Mark, I look forward to reading more!

Gina Glick Jolson

Very shortly this site will be famous amid all blogging and site-building users, due to it’s pleasant posts.

Leila Galloway

Absolutely beautiful! Are you at all thinking of penning a book? You’ve got a fan base out there that really thinks you should Mark. You write so eloquently. Glad that I got onto this site.

Marilyn Lefkowitz

Mark, You are truly a gifted writer and obviously, a special father and husband . Always a delight to read your words.

I’m speechless…beautiful words flow from your heart just like a gentle waterfall into a tranquil stream… thank you so much for the friend request I was blessed the day I clicked confirm.

Lynne Turner Dorsey

From your first writing in 4th grade entitled “People” which was published in the school newspaper, you have always been able to write. Never more so than when you started “Caringbridge” and now your blog, everyone who reads says what a wonderful writer you are. Our DREAM for you is to become an author and encourage people every day. You are by the far the best and we hope and pray you reach your dream.

Bonnie Brodinsky

I know you always thank us for reading but I would like to say thanks for writing.

Stuart Abell

Great piece. You are an inspiration!

Rob Commodari

Mark I just wanted to let you know that you are succeeding in your “ultimate goal”. I have gained so much from your blogs. I look forward to reading them for the special lift that they give me. Thank you.

Amy F.

I love waking up and starting my day with my coffee and your blog! It a great way to start my day with positive uplifting thoughts!! It puts me in a positive frame of mind throughout the day and allows me to reflect on my personal life, make changes, and grow !!!

Gayle Blank

You are quite talented Mark. Thanks for sharing!

Cynthia

I always look forward to your Blog Mark. Thanks for sharing and as you always do, make it a great / remarkable Day!

Chuck Connolly

Thanks for your Blog Mark. It is fun, encouraging and a nice break from a day full of ups and downs.

Jackie Hetrick

With my busy schedule, there is (sadly) little time for reading. But I have two must-reads every time I come across them, the sports section and your blogs. Keep inspiring and following your dream!

Ed Nemec

Mark, you are a truly remarkable individual. You do speak from your heart, I can’t wait to read your book. You are an incredible writer.

Debbie Press

Mark, I am glad I clicked on your post this morning, which lead me to your writing, your goal.
Would like to connect. This speaks to me.

Aileen Braverman

I can’t wait to read the book. I have followed all the blogs and feel so good that I know u guys. You make me cry but you make me laugh too. All the very best to you!

Beverlee Rendelman

Connect with Mark!

  • Facebook
  • LinkedIn
  • Twitter

WOW!!! It Takes 2 is a must read for anyone who has known someone diagnosed with cancer or other life threatening disease. This is the real story of a family lead by an incredible woman, Debbie Brodinsky, who took radical steps to beat the breast cancer beast. The story is told by her husband, Mark Brodinsky, through journal entries he kept starting with diagnosis through one year cancer free. This author's unique ability to pour his heart out onto the page draws you in from the beginning and holds you until the very end.

Thanks to Mark and Debbie Brodinsky for this gift...I have a new perspective on what it means to be a breast cancer survivor. You are a hero, Debbie Brodinsky!

TeeBThree
September 25, 2013

ittakes2_reviews_2

This book gives a heartfelt, in depth description of what it is like to go through breast cancer with the one you love. It is beautifully written and I felt as though I was living it with them! I highly recommend this book!

Jgs17
September 24, 2013

ittakes2_reviews_2

In It Takes 2, Mark Brodinsky windows us into his world where his wife, the cancer patient, is not the only victim. Part journal, part roadmap, It Takes 2 goes to the real humanity of facing the mortality of one's better half. Mark's candid perspective, love, and fierce intention resonate with hope in a story which is about much more than cancer. Mark himself is perhaps the most heroic character for the way he appreciates this life and so many of us in it...as he says, "thanks for caring."

Réné Pallace
September 24, 2013

ittakes2_reviews_2

It Takes Two: A Spouse's Story by Mark Brodinsky should be read by every person who is experiencing serious illness or injury or by a loved one of someone who is experiencing either of those situations. The book is an eloquent testament to the power of love and the healing energy derived from the belief that things will get better. There is not one word of "poor me" from the author or his wife who suffered breast cancer and the radical surgery she elected to have to beat the cancer. Rather, the book is a celebration of the courage displayed by them both in seeing it through.

The book also encourages readers to speak and write down their true feelings and be validated in them. John Mackovic writing in the Palm Springs, CA Desert Sun on November 2, 2013 quoted author and artist Doe Zantamata who said, " To be happy, you don't have to do anything new. You just have to remember how to believe again...Believe everything good is possible. Believe in your dreams. Believe in people. Believe in love. But most of all...believe in yourself." The author, his wife, their family and extended family and friends never stopped believing in his wife's recovery, and I think, in themselves. Read this book and believe.

Paul A. Riecks
November 4, 2013

ittakes2_reviews_2

This book is a must read for anyone with a family member with breast cancer. It takes you through the spouse's perspective from diagnosis to recovery. Mark journaled his wife's journey and put all of his emotions out there. It is beautifully written and inspiring to anyone going through breast cancer. Thank you, Mark for sharing Debbie's story.

Jmu1109
October 23, 2013

ittakes2_reviews_2

A friend recommended this book. This was a great perspective of a man standing beside his partner and passing along to the reader fear, hope, useful information and a broader story than his own. I loved Vinnie the tattoo artist. This is a great book. Thanks for sharing, Mark and "thanks for caring"

Blahsan

ittakes2_reviews_2

This book is a must read. What sets this book apart from other books about surviving breast cancer is that it is told by the husband and his point of view, not from the survivor. At times sad, at times poignant but even through the worst of it you can always feel the love he has for his wife, her strength and the strength of their extended family and friends. The posts that are included from their friends and family lets you really into the heart and strength of the family. I would recommend this book to anyone who is currently going through this, whether you are the person or the caregiver. I also recommend this book to anyone who has a friend that has been or is currently going through their fight now. It was an eye opener for me.

L. Bogash
Seven Valleys, PA

ittakes2_reviews_2

There isn't a shortage of books about breast cancer, but most are written from the perspective of the person who has battled cancer or a physician or other expert. What an enlightening experience to read about breast cancer from a husband and caregiver's perspective! Not only does the author give us insight into his wife's experience and emotions, but he openly shares and reveals his love, compassion, support, and, yes, sometimes anger at the disease as he stands by his wife's side during their journey to beat the beast. Your story may not be the same, but I guarantee if you have a loved one battling cancer, you won't go wrong reading It Takes 2.

 PattiM
September 25, 2013

 

ittakes2_reviews_2

From the moment I opened this book I never stopped reading. Mark invites the reader to come along on this journey that his family went through. I cried, laughed and learned so much. This book will give comfort and knowledge to those going through similar situations. Most importantly, Mark and his family never give up. They get knocked down and get right back up. They fought cancer together and with their strength, determination and will to prevail... They do!

 Jenny Schloss 

Recent Comments

  • Patricia Storey on The Sunday Series (152), with Mark Brodinsky
  • markbrodinsky on The Sunday Series (152), with Mark Brodinsky
  • markbrodinsky on The Sunday Series (152), with Mark Brodinsky
  • Abby Scherr on The Sunday Series (152), with Mark Brodinsky
  • Sheila Hyman on The Sunday Series (152), with Mark Brodinsky

Your Best Day: It’s Just About… Life.

“The two most important days of your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.” – Mark Twain This is one that made me stop and say, “wow”. I’ve read a number of books and seen and heard some great quotes recently, but that one is a show-stopper, because […]

Super Sunday: It’s Just About… Life.

The Sunday Series takes a week off to witness some inspiration, as we are immersed in a day-long event which brings athletes from all over for some intense compeition. The opening ceremonies begin in just one hour (7:30am). The Sunday Series returns next week with more stories of inspiration, courage and hope. Hope you take […]

Categories

  • Life
  • Sunday Series
  • Uncategorized

Pages

  • About Mark Brodinsky
  • Contact
  • Resources
  • Storytelling
  • The Higher Shelf!

Connect With Mark!

  • Facebook
  • LinkedIn
  • Twitter

Categories

© 2019 Life and The Sunday Series. All Rights Reserved.

Built Masterfully on WordPress and Maintained by the Blogging Experts