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The Sunday Series (50), with Mark Brodinsky

December 7, 2014 By markbrodinsky 3 Comments

We’ve reached #50. Fifty Sundays of stories, a milestone on this blog and hopefully for how the world is affected by stories of courage, hope and inspiration.

I thank you for the opportunity. I love to write, I love to blog, and I love to share stories which connect us all in this human experience. Sunday belongs to you.

The Sunday Series (50): The Rain, The Pain… The Gain

They say in the world of real estate it’s all about location, location, location. For realtor Tim Kenney, the place where his crash happened saved his life.

kenney bmw

The Rain

It was raining so hard, just so hard on that Friday night, December 6th, 2013.  When Tim completed his real estate settlement with his client at a Remax Real Estate office in Arbutus, Maryland, the two said a quick goodbye and then ran to their cars. The heavens had opened, the rain was coming down in buckets, and Tim’s wipers were on high, as he struggled to see out of the windshield of his car. He pulled out of the parking lot and drove up a short hill, where he could see the blinking light. Tim had one desire on this Friday evening, he wanted to get home to his wife and two young children. But sometimes your greatest desire is thwarted by fate.

The flashing light at the top of the hill blinked red for Tim, and apparently yellow, as a caution light for cars coming from a different direction. That light is the last thing Tim Kenney remembers. The next details are those that have been told to him by family and the firefighters on the scene. No one still knows who was really at fault on that rain-drenched December night, but the reality of physics cannot be denied – a woman driving a Chevy Malibu, and traveling at a speed in excess of 50 mph plowed into Tim’s BMW. In that single moment his life changed forever.

The location of Tim’s accident most assuredly saved his life. The crash happened within 400 feet of the Arbutus Volunteer Fire Department. Several firefighters heard the crash and ran to assist. The firefighters were at the scene within minutes of impact and within 15 minutes they used the jaws of life to extract Tim through the roof of his car. Within 45 minutes he was at University of Maryland Shock Trauma.

kenney car close up

From the picture above the next details I’m about to list for Tim’s injuries almost make sense, the fact that he’s even alive doesn’t… it’s nothing short of a miracle.

Tim’s list of injuries: his left femur completely snapped in half, his pelvis broken on both sides, all of his ribs, crushed, the vertebrae in his back, broken, his left lung completely collapsed, his right lung at half its capacity, both kidneys failed, and the most serious injury –  which a CAT scan confirmed at the hospital – the path to Tim’s heart, his aorta, was torn and he was bleeding internally. From impact to Shock Trauma it had been a less than an hour, the next few hours would decide Tim’s fate.

Tim’s wife Paige was contacted by police, yet all they knew at the time was that her husband had a broken leg. But when she arrived the tests had been completed and the doctors shared the news. They told her Tim’s condition was critical, they needed to arrange for emergency surgery to get a stint where the tear was in the aorta valve and stop the bleeding. Paige nearly passed out. The couple had two children at home, 3-year-old Taylor and 1-year-old Eloise. When news of the accident broke, Paige’s mom rushed over to watch her grandchildren. Now Paige was at Shock Trauma and there lie her husband, basically on life support and the doctors telling her they “expected” he’d pull through. But they told Paige to go home to her young children, the team was being prepared and surgery wouldn’t be until very early in the morning. When she arrived back home it was her son Taylor, for some reason standing at the top of the stairs. In her mind Paige was thinking the worst, there was a possibility Taylor and Eloise might grow up without their daddy, that’s when she broke down.

Back at the hospital it was now early morning and the surgeons were busy. Two operations at the same time – one to get the stint into Tim’s aorta, the other to put his left leg back together. The heart surgery was a success, the bleeding stopped and at the same time the doctors inserted a 22-inch rod into Tim’s left leg. His femur had broken perfectly into two pieces, so the rod would do the trick. Every other part of his body, the kidneys, the pelvis, the lungs, they would all have to heal on their own.

Tim’s next memory is about a day later when he awoke in the hospital and saw Paige. He was still intubated, unable to talk or breathe on his own, but his arms and hands had been spared and with the dry erase board the nurses had given him he wrote down three letters and showed them to his wife: WTF.

Paige was just happy to see Tim’s brain and hands working. In fact all of his motor functions and brain functions were in good order, the doctors determined there was no paralysis. Later that same evening the tube was removed from Tim’s throat and he was able to breathe on his own, an early celebration in what would be a long recovery. Tim was now stable, and although badly hurt, his mind was in good shape – he was aware. As he would soon learn it was a blessing…and a curse.

The Pain

Tim’s body was simply crushed by the accident. “The first week in Shock Trauma it was all about the pain”, says Tim. “I don’t think anyone has experienced pain at this level. My whole body was broken, and when the nurses would come into to move me, to clean me, or to change clothes, I had to stick a towel between my teeth so I could scream at the top of my lungs every time they turned me. Even with the morphine and the Oxycontin they gave me 15-to-20 minutes before they came back to change the dressing, the pain was so extreme. The next five or six days it was all about trying to get through the pain.”

https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=10151885745558800

There was a clock with a second-hand on the wall that Tim could see and it marked the excruciatingly slow passage of time. They say that time heals all wounds, but in this case time was Tim’s greatest enemy. Medication to fight the pain could only be given every three hours. The vicious cycle, repeated over and over, went something like this: the nurses would give Tim his pain meds and he would fall asleep, more like a drug-induced coma, for about an hour. He would awake in the second hour as the pain returned, in a pool of sweat and desperately wanting more meds. By the third hour the pain became so intense Tim would just stare at the clock, the second-hand ticking every so slowly, until he could push the call button and at exactly the third hour, and not one minute later, to receive his medication.

Then the cycle would begin again.

After about a week in Shock Trauma, the physical therapist arrived. It was time to get out of bed. Just six months prior to this moment Tim Kenney had finished a 600 mile trip on his road bike, The Ride the Rockies Bike Tour. Climbing the mountains on his road bike he thought there is no way a human can do this, ride uphill for three hours at a clip. For Tim that feeling was about to be surpassed by somehow getting his crushed body into an upright position and out of bed to walk, with the aid of a walker, over to a chair in the room. Tim says he first thought, “there is now way I can do this, it’s going to hurt so bad.” But he quickly used the mind over matter lessons he had learned in his ride through the Rockies – “you can do this, you have to do this. If you don’t stand up today when are you going to stand? If the doctor says you can, then you must.”

Tim did what he had to do. As a matter of fact he kept working at it and within another week he was out of Shock Trauma and transferred to the Kernan Rehab Hospital. Tim says the pain was still a “10 out of 10”, but he was so determined to get out and get back home to his family that in a three-day period of time – doing hours of rehab on his own, outside of what was required by the physical therapist – he accomplished the three goals which could secure his release: walk the 150 foot track at the rehab hospital three times, lift his damaged leg 6 inches off the ground and walk a set of stairs with his walker. Tim remembers calling Paige when the nurse signed off for him to go home. “I passed the test, I was crying, I called my wife and I could barely talk because I was so filled with emotion. It was December 18th, I thought I would be here through Christmas, but I was getting out!” With nearly a week to go before Christmas, Tim was back home.

kenney kids

“I don’t know if I realized what was coming in terms of the real recovery”, says Tim. “You go from trauma center, to surgery to post-surgery and a little bit of rehab progress to get home, then realize you still have a long way to go to be pain-free.” While being home helped with the emotional pain of being away from his young family, the physical pain continued in its intensity. Tim could not sleep in his bed, the pain from his still-broken body was just too much. So for weeks the only place he could bear to sit was on a love seat in his home, as the cycle of excruciating pain, pills, drug-filled sleep, (maybe 90 minutes at a clip), and more pain continued. Eventually by mid January Tim says he started to feel better. The watershed moment came later that month when the doctor told Tim he could now use a cane and put 70% pressure on his left leg, and even drive.

… The Gain

Tim said he threw away the powerful pain pills, he didn’t want to deal with them anymore. The day he got home from the doctor he told Paige he was heading out. She couldn’t believe it. It had been snowing that day, so Tim switched from his cane to his snow shoes, even though it took him 40 minutes to get them on and even longer to stand up… and he headed out to go snowshoeing. “I was never so empowered”, says Tim. “I felt like Superman. It was a turning point, the one where I knew I was in the process of healing and I can walk again. It made me feel like I was going to be OK.”

tim kenney in snow

Prior to that moment Tim had proven himself to his family and friends by attending his kids Christmas show at their school, albeit with his walker, and even attended the holiday work party for his real estate team. At every event those in attendance who had heard about the accident were astonished to see him out and about. But that’s Tim Kenney – going above and beyond.

Tim says his goal for this summer is to heal to the point he can Ride the Rockies once again, 600 miles in seven days. Few doubt he won’t make it there, certainly not his wife Paige. Tim says the support from his wife has been unbelievable. The couple has been married for eight years, but been together for nearly a decade-and-a-half. “She’s my best friend”, says Tim. “She is my everything. She is my partner, the mother of my children, she is incredible.” He also says his parents, his family, aunts, uncles and the support of his closest friends has been amazing. Day after day during his 14-day stay at Shock Trauma, those who know him the best and love him the most would come by to see him. When a “bring a meal” opportunity was announced on social media, within the first hour the two-month calendar was completely filled.

tim and paige

Tim says he exercises and does rehab seven days a week now, trying to get all his body strength to return. He had lost 35 pounds after the accident but he is doing a lot of strength training, cross training, hiking, cycling, snowshoeing and his goal is to be in the best shape of his life. Tim says he realized that exercise also helps his mind to heal. “I’m really focused on thinking”, says Tim. “I think when I hike and I think about building up my business too. My real estate business actually grew while I was out of work. I have really good people working with me and we are preparing to have astronomical growth in 2015. Resiliency is one thing I really learned about myself. I don’t know if I was ever really tested. I don’t know in life if people really want to be tested.”

Tim continues, “the one thing I learned is life throws you curves, you never know what is going to happen. You’ve got to pick yourself back up and get yourself back together, brush yourself off and do everything you can to get back to normal.”

Words to live by, especially when you are simply grateful to live another day.

kenney extended family

Until next time, thanks for taking the time.
Mark Brodinsky

Mark Brodinsky, Author, Blogger, Speaker

 

Author & Publisher of the #1 Amazon Best-Seller: It Takes 2. Surviving Breast Cancer: A Spouse’s Story
(https://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=mark+brodinsky)

For ideas, comments and feedback on The Sunday Series: markbrodinsky@gmail.com

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Comments

  1. Jeremy Walsh says

    December 7, 2014 at 1:54 pm

    Incredible piece Mark. Thanks for sharing Tim’s story. It truly is an Inspiring story!

    Reply
  2. Barrie Euga says

    December 8, 2014 at 9:28 am

    Beautifully written, I’m Paige’s mom and Tim’s mother-in-law. There’s is so much to be thankful for in this life, including life itself, we all lose focus on, thank you for sharing Tim’s journey.

    Reply
    • markbrodinsky says

      December 8, 2014 at 9:30 am

      You are very welcome Barrie. Thanks for your comments and I too am inspired by their story.

      Reply

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Blog Reviews

Love seeing new blogs hit the ground running like this one (by a dad no less), but I also urge anyone vaguely interested in blogging to stay tuned, I am. Good luck on your journey – glad that I am along for the ride.

Rachel Blaufeld

Great blog Mark! I always appreciate reading what you have to say. You are very gifted and talented and hopefully someday you’ll not just blog, but write a book.

 Stephen Koncurat

I’m definitely along for the ride. We’ve all seen how much damage the written word can inflict. More positive writers are needed. And I love how you are using your personal experiences – those with your wife and children – and your gift of writing to open eyes and to inspire others.

Victoria Endicott

Absolutely beautifully written! The girls in your life must be very proud of you. Thanks for sharing Mark, I look forward to reading more!

Gina Glick Jolson

Very shortly this site will be famous amid all blogging and site-building users, due to it’s pleasant posts.

Leila Galloway

Absolutely beautiful! Are you at all thinking of penning a book? You’ve got a fan base out there that really thinks you should Mark. You write so eloquently. Glad that I got onto this site.

Marilyn Lefkowitz

Mark, You are truly a gifted writer and obviously, a special father and husband . Always a delight to read your words.

I’m speechless…beautiful words flow from your heart just like a gentle waterfall into a tranquil stream… thank you so much for the friend request I was blessed the day I clicked confirm.

Lynne Turner Dorsey

From your first writing in 4th grade entitled “People” which was published in the school newspaper, you have always been able to write. Never more so than when you started “Caringbridge” and now your blog, everyone who reads says what a wonderful writer you are. Our DREAM for you is to become an author and encourage people every day. You are by the far the best and we hope and pray you reach your dream.

Bonnie Brodinsky

I know you always thank us for reading but I would like to say thanks for writing.

Stuart Abell

Great piece. You are an inspiration!

Rob Commodari

Mark I just wanted to let you know that you are succeeding in your “ultimate goal”. I have gained so much from your blogs. I look forward to reading them for the special lift that they give me. Thank you.

Amy F.

I love waking up and starting my day with my coffee and your blog! It a great way to start my day with positive uplifting thoughts!! It puts me in a positive frame of mind throughout the day and allows me to reflect on my personal life, make changes, and grow !!!

Gayle Blank

You are quite talented Mark. Thanks for sharing!

Cynthia

I always look forward to your Blog Mark. Thanks for sharing and as you always do, make it a great / remarkable Day!

Chuck Connolly

Thanks for your Blog Mark. It is fun, encouraging and a nice break from a day full of ups and downs.

Jackie Hetrick

With my busy schedule, there is (sadly) little time for reading. But I have two must-reads every time I come across them, the sports section and your blogs. Keep inspiring and following your dream!

Ed Nemec

Mark, you are a truly remarkable individual. You do speak from your heart, I can’t wait to read your book. You are an incredible writer.

Debbie Press

Mark, I am glad I clicked on your post this morning, which lead me to your writing, your goal.
Would like to connect. This speaks to me.

Aileen Braverman

I can’t wait to read the book. I have followed all the blogs and feel so good that I know u guys. You make me cry but you make me laugh too. All the very best to you!

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WOW!!! It Takes 2 is a must read for anyone who has known someone diagnosed with cancer or other life threatening disease. This is the real story of a family lead by an incredible woman, Debbie Brodinsky, who took radical steps to beat the breast cancer beast. The story is told by her husband, Mark Brodinsky, through journal entries he kept starting with diagnosis through one year cancer free. This author's unique ability to pour his heart out onto the page draws you in from the beginning and holds you until the very end.

Thanks to Mark and Debbie Brodinsky for this gift...I have a new perspective on what it means to be a breast cancer survivor. You are a hero, Debbie Brodinsky!

TeeBThree
September 25, 2013

ittakes2_reviews_2

This book gives a heartfelt, in depth description of what it is like to go through breast cancer with the one you love. It is beautifully written and I felt as though I was living it with them! I highly recommend this book!

Jgs17
September 24, 2013

ittakes2_reviews_2

In It Takes 2, Mark Brodinsky windows us into his world where his wife, the cancer patient, is not the only victim. Part journal, part roadmap, It Takes 2 goes to the real humanity of facing the mortality of one's better half. Mark's candid perspective, love, and fierce intention resonate with hope in a story which is about much more than cancer. Mark himself is perhaps the most heroic character for the way he appreciates this life and so many of us in it...as he says, "thanks for caring."

Réné Pallace
September 24, 2013

ittakes2_reviews_2

It Takes Two: A Spouse's Story by Mark Brodinsky should be read by every person who is experiencing serious illness or injury or by a loved one of someone who is experiencing either of those situations. The book is an eloquent testament to the power of love and the healing energy derived from the belief that things will get better. There is not one word of "poor me" from the author or his wife who suffered breast cancer and the radical surgery she elected to have to beat the cancer. Rather, the book is a celebration of the courage displayed by them both in seeing it through.

The book also encourages readers to speak and write down their true feelings and be validated in them. John Mackovic writing in the Palm Springs, CA Desert Sun on November 2, 2013 quoted author and artist Doe Zantamata who said, " To be happy, you don't have to do anything new. You just have to remember how to believe again...Believe everything good is possible. Believe in your dreams. Believe in people. Believe in love. But most of all...believe in yourself." The author, his wife, their family and extended family and friends never stopped believing in his wife's recovery, and I think, in themselves. Read this book and believe.

Paul A. Riecks
November 4, 2013

ittakes2_reviews_2

This book is a must read for anyone with a family member with breast cancer. It takes you through the spouse's perspective from diagnosis to recovery. Mark journaled his wife's journey and put all of his emotions out there. It is beautifully written and inspiring to anyone going through breast cancer. Thank you, Mark for sharing Debbie's story.

Jmu1109
October 23, 2013

ittakes2_reviews_2

A friend recommended this book. This was a great perspective of a man standing beside his partner and passing along to the reader fear, hope, useful information and a broader story than his own. I loved Vinnie the tattoo artist. This is a great book. Thanks for sharing, Mark and "thanks for caring"

Blahsan

ittakes2_reviews_2

This book is a must read. What sets this book apart from other books about surviving breast cancer is that it is told by the husband and his point of view, not from the survivor. At times sad, at times poignant but even through the worst of it you can always feel the love he has for his wife, her strength and the strength of their extended family and friends. The posts that are included from their friends and family lets you really into the heart and strength of the family. I would recommend this book to anyone who is currently going through this, whether you are the person or the caregiver. I also recommend this book to anyone who has a friend that has been or is currently going through their fight now. It was an eye opener for me.

L. Bogash
Seven Valleys, PA

ittakes2_reviews_2

There isn't a shortage of books about breast cancer, but most are written from the perspective of the person who has battled cancer or a physician or other expert. What an enlightening experience to read about breast cancer from a husband and caregiver's perspective! Not only does the author give us insight into his wife's experience and emotions, but he openly shares and reveals his love, compassion, support, and, yes, sometimes anger at the disease as he stands by his wife's side during their journey to beat the beast. Your story may not be the same, but I guarantee if you have a loved one battling cancer, you won't go wrong reading It Takes 2.

 PattiM
September 25, 2013

 

ittakes2_reviews_2

From the moment I opened this book I never stopped reading. Mark invites the reader to come along on this journey that his family went through. I cried, laughed and learned so much. This book will give comfort and knowledge to those going through similar situations. Most importantly, Mark and his family never give up. They get knocked down and get right back up. They fought cancer together and with their strength, determination and will to prevail... They do!

 Jenny Schloss 

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