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The Sunday Series 2: It’s Just About… Life.

October 20, 2013 By markbrodinsky 3 Comments

Zola the face
You have taken this to community and beyond. The first Sunday Series was the most viewed/shared blog ever posted on this site, like nothing I have ever seen. And we are only scratching the surface of what is possible. I ask you to remember the mission of this series: to tell YOUR story. Stories about people who overcome great obstacles, show tremendous courage or sacrifice, those who live their lives in a way we can all emulate, and those who are not working to live, but living their work, their dream, doing the one thing they were born to do.

My purpose here…to give back.

The Sunday Series (2): Soul Purpose

No one else will ever know the strength of my love for you. After all, you’re the only one who knows what my heart sounds like from the inside.
– A quote from any Mother

Traci Kodeck yearned to feel that love. She always wanted to be a Mom. But by the time she neared her 39th birthday, the right man had still not come along to help make Traci’s dream come true. Or maybe he had, but the right man to Traci was someone who wanted to have children and her last relationship ended for just that reason. No kids, no marriage, no deal. Time to move on.

Traci and friend
On a trip to Utah to celebrate her 39th birthday with a good friend, Traci made the decision to go it alone. The desire was too strong, and in human hours, months and years, the clock was ticking. The right man was nowhere in sight. So Traci decided to experience life’s greatest miracle on her own and become a single mother. What she didn’t know at the time; God had other plans.

As she began her journey an immediate road block surfaced, Traci’s doctor ran some tests to check for any structural damage, turns out there was an abnormality in the uterus. A laparoscopic surgery was scheduled for September of 2010 and the issue was corrected. By November of that year, Traci took her first steps toward motherhood by purchasing sperm, and having an insemination.

Her first try was unsuccessful. No go, no pregnancy. Time to get ready for round two.

Even the average woman has only about a 20% chance of actually getting pregnant during each cycle. But for Traci, her second time around she beat the odds. The insemination worked, she was pregnant, but it was short lived. At ten weeks in Traci had a miscarriage. As anyone who has ever experienced one knows miscarriages are common, but it was still disappointing. Don’t forget Traci was making this journey alone. She said her family and friends were incredibly supportive, but it was her dream, her desire, her destiny and she wanted it more than anything else.

A third try, then a fourth, but with no success. But on the fifth insemination, it took hold, and Traci was pregnant again. It was pure joy that lasted less than two months. At seven weeks the baby’s heart stopped beating. The summer of 2011 was now one of discontent and disappointment. In the midst of all these attempts, the doctors, including a high risk OB, were busy running all sorts of tests. One theory for all the trouble was possible chromosomal conflict. But nothing conclusive. The only thing anyone knew for sure, Traci’s dream was on hold again, but her desire for that feeling of unconditional love kept her fight going. Sometimes to witness a miracle you need a little help along the way.

During this period Traci found a place of refuge, reflection and community, http://www.singlemothersbychoice.org/, there she could communicate with others going through the same challenges, setbacks and stories of success, which kept her inspired. She needed it, especially after her sixth and seventh tries were still unsuccessful. Pregnancy seemed like a distant dream and one that was drifting further and further away.
tryingmothering

But as Traci soon discovered the global community created by the internet might just be the greatest single invention in recorded history to bring humans together. Traci was flying solo, but was always just one click away from a friend fighting for the same dream, and if lucky, soaring high and living that dream as well.

By her eighth attempt at pregnancy a long-time friend had come to Traci’s rescue, offering to be a sperm donor. But the end result was the same…a miscarriage. Another try, now number nine, ended the same as all the others. The road to a dream was getting rough, but sometimes pursuit of that dream and failure after failure leads you to look for another path, a different light, a new way. Through the single mother online support group Traci found the Colorado Center for Reproductive Medicine (CCRM). A phone consult, a plane ride out west, meetings with social workers, financial counselors and a complete range of new testing and finally the doctors were ready for a recommendation: IVF with genetic testing. This time the process would start outside Traci’s body – in a petri dish in Denver – and if the embryo was healthy it would then be placed inside, for Traci to carry the baby to term.
CCRM

The process was a success, six embryos were created, and each one had a cell removed for genetic testing. Two weeks after those tests began, the doctors called. Only one of the six embryos was healthy, the other five had chromosomal abnormalities. Traci’s chances were down to a single embryo. If this didn’t work, she was out of options AND out of money. Her best and only chance was this single embryo, a $30,000 roll of the dice. There were no more dollars for another go-round and after nine other tries if Traci had to call it quits, who could blame her. She had given it everything she had, her time, her money, her heart. If this was to be her higher calling, then this was her time.

August 24th, 2012, Traci flew back to Denver for the frozen embryo transfer. Two weeks later and now back home, Traci had confirmation… she was pregnant. Her local OB kept close watch, checkups every two weeks, and this time she made it to the end of the first trimester. And because of the genetic testing, Traci got some bonus news, the doctors could tell her the baby’s sex, Traci now knew she was having a girl. She was three months in now; her longest pregnancy to date.

The days passed. Fall became Winter. Winter turned to Spring. It was almost time.

traci pregnant

If you want to learn what humility is, create life. If you want to know what love is, hold a child in your arms. If you want to know what a miracle is, talk to Traci. She knows and she can tell you the moment: May 6th 2013, 11:37AM. She can tell you the size of that miracle, 7 pounds, 3 ounces. And she can tell you the name of that miracle: Zola.

In all of human history there is no greater gift than that of life. To hold a child, your child, and to feel two hearts beat as one. Traci Kodeck made the choice and took that journey alone. She fought for and found her soul purpose.

And now Traci will never be alone again.

traci and zola

Until next time thanks for taking the time,

Mark

(If you have an idea for the Sunday Series, please contact me: markbrodinsky@gmail.com)

Mark Brodinsky
Author: It Takes 2. Surviving Breast Cancer: A Spouse’s Story
Amazon #1 Best Seller
www.markbrodinsky.com

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Comments

  1. Jill Alperstein says

    October 20, 2013 at 6:35 am

    Another inspirational Story

    Sent from my iPhone

    >

    Reply
    • Mark Brodinsky says

      October 20, 2013 at 7:03 am

      Thanks.

      Reply
  2. mama jilly says

    October 20, 2013 at 10:24 am

    we are grateful for our beautiful Zola, she fills us with joy and love. Traci has completed her journey and is a Mother. We are so proud of her and how she fought to be a Mom.

    Reply

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Mark Brodinsky
Emmy Award Winner, 1996

Ever thought about writing a book? check this out!

Blog Reviews

Love seeing new blogs hit the ground running like this one (by a dad no less), but I also urge anyone vaguely interested in blogging to stay tuned, I am. Good luck on your journey – glad that I am along for the ride.

Rachel Blaufeld

Great blog Mark! I always appreciate reading what you have to say. You are very gifted and talented and hopefully someday you’ll not just blog, but write a book.

 Stephen Koncurat

I’m definitely along for the ride. We’ve all seen how much damage the written word can inflict. More positive writers are needed. And I love how you are using your personal experiences – those with your wife and children – and your gift of writing to open eyes and to inspire others.

Victoria Endicott

Absolutely beautifully written! The girls in your life must be very proud of you. Thanks for sharing Mark, I look forward to reading more!

Gina Glick Jolson

Very shortly this site will be famous amid all blogging and site-building users, due to it’s pleasant posts.

Leila Galloway

Absolutely beautiful! Are you at all thinking of penning a book? You’ve got a fan base out there that really thinks you should Mark. You write so eloquently. Glad that I got onto this site.

Marilyn Lefkowitz

Mark, You are truly a gifted writer and obviously, a special father and husband . Always a delight to read your words.

I’m speechless…beautiful words flow from your heart just like a gentle waterfall into a tranquil stream… thank you so much for the friend request I was blessed the day I clicked confirm.

Lynne Turner Dorsey

From your first writing in 4th grade entitled “People” which was published in the school newspaper, you have always been able to write. Never more so than when you started “Caringbridge” and now your blog, everyone who reads says what a wonderful writer you are. Our DREAM for you is to become an author and encourage people every day. You are by the far the best and we hope and pray you reach your dream.

Bonnie Brodinsky

I know you always thank us for reading but I would like to say thanks for writing.

Stuart Abell

Great piece. You are an inspiration!

Rob Commodari

Mark I just wanted to let you know that you are succeeding in your “ultimate goal”. I have gained so much from your blogs. I look forward to reading them for the special lift that they give me. Thank you.

Amy F.

I love waking up and starting my day with my coffee and your blog! It a great way to start my day with positive uplifting thoughts!! It puts me in a positive frame of mind throughout the day and allows me to reflect on my personal life, make changes, and grow !!!

Gayle Blank

You are quite talented Mark. Thanks for sharing!

Cynthia

I always look forward to your Blog Mark. Thanks for sharing and as you always do, make it a great / remarkable Day!

Chuck Connolly

Thanks for your Blog Mark. It is fun, encouraging and a nice break from a day full of ups and downs.

Jackie Hetrick

With my busy schedule, there is (sadly) little time for reading. But I have two must-reads every time I come across them, the sports section and your blogs. Keep inspiring and following your dream!

Ed Nemec

Mark, you are a truly remarkable individual. You do speak from your heart, I can’t wait to read your book. You are an incredible writer.

Debbie Press

Mark, I am glad I clicked on your post this morning, which lead me to your writing, your goal.
Would like to connect. This speaks to me.

Aileen Braverman

I can’t wait to read the book. I have followed all the blogs and feel so good that I know u guys. You make me cry but you make me laugh too. All the very best to you!

Beverlee Rendelman

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WOW!!! It Takes 2 is a must read for anyone who has known someone diagnosed with cancer or other life threatening disease. This is the real story of a family lead by an incredible woman, Debbie Brodinsky, who took radical steps to beat the breast cancer beast. The story is told by her husband, Mark Brodinsky, through journal entries he kept starting with diagnosis through one year cancer free. This author's unique ability to pour his heart out onto the page draws you in from the beginning and holds you until the very end.

Thanks to Mark and Debbie Brodinsky for this gift...I have a new perspective on what it means to be a breast cancer survivor. You are a hero, Debbie Brodinsky!

TeeBThree
September 25, 2013

ittakes2_reviews_2

This book gives a heartfelt, in depth description of what it is like to go through breast cancer with the one you love. It is beautifully written and I felt as though I was living it with them! I highly recommend this book!

Jgs17
September 24, 2013

ittakes2_reviews_2

In It Takes 2, Mark Brodinsky windows us into his world where his wife, the cancer patient, is not the only victim. Part journal, part roadmap, It Takes 2 goes to the real humanity of facing the mortality of one's better half. Mark's candid perspective, love, and fierce intention resonate with hope in a story which is about much more than cancer. Mark himself is perhaps the most heroic character for the way he appreciates this life and so many of us in it...as he says, "thanks for caring."

Réné Pallace
September 24, 2013

ittakes2_reviews_2

It Takes Two: A Spouse's Story by Mark Brodinsky should be read by every person who is experiencing serious illness or injury or by a loved one of someone who is experiencing either of those situations. The book is an eloquent testament to the power of love and the healing energy derived from the belief that things will get better. There is not one word of "poor me" from the author or his wife who suffered breast cancer and the radical surgery she elected to have to beat the cancer. Rather, the book is a celebration of the courage displayed by them both in seeing it through.

The book also encourages readers to speak and write down their true feelings and be validated in them. John Mackovic writing in the Palm Springs, CA Desert Sun on November 2, 2013 quoted author and artist Doe Zantamata who said, " To be happy, you don't have to do anything new. You just have to remember how to believe again...Believe everything good is possible. Believe in your dreams. Believe in people. Believe in love. But most of all...believe in yourself." The author, his wife, their family and extended family and friends never stopped believing in his wife's recovery, and I think, in themselves. Read this book and believe.

Paul A. Riecks
November 4, 2013

ittakes2_reviews_2

This book is a must read for anyone with a family member with breast cancer. It takes you through the spouse's perspective from diagnosis to recovery. Mark journaled his wife's journey and put all of his emotions out there. It is beautifully written and inspiring to anyone going through breast cancer. Thank you, Mark for sharing Debbie's story.

Jmu1109
October 23, 2013

ittakes2_reviews_2

A friend recommended this book. This was a great perspective of a man standing beside his partner and passing along to the reader fear, hope, useful information and a broader story than his own. I loved Vinnie the tattoo artist. This is a great book. Thanks for sharing, Mark and "thanks for caring"

Blahsan

ittakes2_reviews_2

This book is a must read. What sets this book apart from other books about surviving breast cancer is that it is told by the husband and his point of view, not from the survivor. At times sad, at times poignant but even through the worst of it you can always feel the love he has for his wife, her strength and the strength of their extended family and friends. The posts that are included from their friends and family lets you really into the heart and strength of the family. I would recommend this book to anyone who is currently going through this, whether you are the person or the caregiver. I also recommend this book to anyone who has a friend that has been or is currently going through their fight now. It was an eye opener for me.

L. Bogash
Seven Valleys, PA

ittakes2_reviews_2

There isn't a shortage of books about breast cancer, but most are written from the perspective of the person who has battled cancer or a physician or other expert. What an enlightening experience to read about breast cancer from a husband and caregiver's perspective! Not only does the author give us insight into his wife's experience and emotions, but he openly shares and reveals his love, compassion, support, and, yes, sometimes anger at the disease as he stands by his wife's side during their journey to beat the beast. Your story may not be the same, but I guarantee if you have a loved one battling cancer, you won't go wrong reading It Takes 2.

 PattiM
September 25, 2013

 

ittakes2_reviews_2

From the moment I opened this book I never stopped reading. Mark invites the reader to come along on this journey that his family went through. I cried, laughed and learned so much. This book will give comfort and knowledge to those going through similar situations. Most importantly, Mark and his family never give up. They get knocked down and get right back up. They fought cancer together and with their strength, determination and will to prevail... They do!

 Jenny Schloss 

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