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The Sunday Series (11), with Mark Brodinsky

January 5, 2014 By markbrodinsky 8 Comments

fink family

Courage, inspiration, hope, strength, love. It’s Sunday and the theme of The Sunday Series is to share a story which should make you think, gain perspective, perhaps bring a smile,or a tear, but with every story to speak from the heart.

The Sunday Series (11): All in for Life

You’ve heard the expression what are you willing to die for? Well what are you willing to live for? Debbie Fink can tell you because she’s going all in to try and do just that… to simply live.

Debbie’s story was first brought to my attention by her stepmom Becky, who sent me an e-mail a few weeks ago:
“Your blog has motivated me to bring my stepdaughter’s plight to the attention of your readers. My stepdaughter, Debbie has been struggling for almost three years with the life changes of having appendix cancer and the uncertainty of one’s life expectancy. The reason I am submitting my stepdaughter’s blog is to educate the public of some of the rare types of cancers that fortunately do not affect a vast number of innocent people, but unfortunately impacts the availability of funds for any clinical trials to begin to find a cure. As Debbie’s stepmother I equate her cancer as the step-cancer not always getting the attention it truly deserves. Debbie deals with this misfortunate roll of the dice with strength, which by the way is tattooed on the side of her foot, in that she gets up every day to live for today and not dwell on tomorrow.”

Debbie Fink deserves attention, as does her fight and her strength. It’s true, her cancer is rare, only 1,000 people a year are diagnosed with appendiceal cancer. In Debbie’s case it also comes along with poorly differentiated signet ring cells. They say G-d doesn’t deal you more than you can handle, so maybe a rare cancer happens only to certain people… those who have the incredible strength and fortitude greater than many could muster. Debbie is proving to be a rare individual indeed.

Her journey began just a short time after her marriage to David Green.

debbie fink and david

David and Debbie met at a Camp Saginaw reunion in 2008. They didn’t remember each other from the camp days, but at the reunion they connected and it wasn’t too long before they were ready to make new memories they would remember, together. Debbie and David were married at the same camp site in May of 2011. But the honeymoon didn’t last long. Three months after the wedding, Debbie went to the doctor to get checked for an enlarged ovary. Her goal was to get pregnant in the near future and the gynecologist assured her she could do that with just one ovary, but what was supposed to be a 45-minute laprascopic procedure took a nasty turn, because two hours later Debbie’s right ovary and her appendix were removed. Both had questionable masses on them.

Questionable soon turned to devastating.

Tests on the masses showed stage-4 appendiceal cancer. Debbie says she was, “overwhelmed and sad”. Treatment options were few. But Debbie decided to get aggressive. “When it’s your own life, you do anything it takes to keep going.” Her first surgery was January 2012, a controversial procedure called HIPEC, (Hyperthermic Intraperitoneal Chemotherapy). “I was on the operating table for almost 10 hours”, says Debbie. “Basically once they cut me open my organs were given a heated chemotherapy bath for 90 minutes.” I had a full hysterectomy and minor resections of my bladder, rectum and vagina. My surgery was deemed a success, and it was determined that I was cancer-free.”

Debbie says that diagnosis did not quell her fear. “Fear ruled my life for a year after the surgery and it’s not healthy, it put a strain on my marriage and my friends didn’t want to be around me.” Unfortunately those fears were not unwarranted. This past summer the cancer returned and tomorrow, January 6th, Debbie will undergo a massive operation at MD Anderson Hospital in Houston, Texas which might be her only shot at survival. “I was told my best chance for the longest possible life would be a full pelvic exenteration, which would leave me with no bladder, rectum or vagina. At least, the doctor rationalized, it will buy me a few years before the cancer returns again.”

Debbie says the cancer, her cancer-free days and the eventual return of the beast has made her understand you can’t control everything, but you can control your reactions to everything and you really do have to count your blessings. She says her husband David has been her rock and her two stepdaughters, Zoe and Alex are taking it in stride, though not too much is spoken in their presence. Social media is also making a difference. Sometimes an internet connection can be a life-saver. Debbie says she feels like she has the support of thousands, not just her close family and friends. There is a closed Facebook group of about a thousand people who share the same cancer diagnosis and offer mental and emotional support and hope. There are stories of many in that group with 12-15 year survival rates.

Debbie has shared her journey in a few blog posts which have been picked up by Huffington Post (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/debbie-fink/) and she has a Caringbridge page where she shares updates and thoughts on the journey, (http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/debbiefinkgreen). She says post surgery she would love to get back in shape, run a 10-K, write a memoir, maybe do some more traveling. But there is no big bucket list.

“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”, those are the words from the Kelly Clarkson song Debbie says she finds inspiring. The lyrics ring true. She is scared and there are still a ton of questions about post-surgery prognosis because of the rarity of the cancer, but she appreciates everyone’s thoughts and prayers as she battles back from one of life’s greatest challenges.

dave and debbie

Life and survival – being there for David and the girls is the ultimate goal. The challenge Debbie is facing puts life in perspective for all of us. We all face challenges, if there isn’t a road bump or obstacle in your journey through this life you probably aren’t really living. But some road blocks are bigger than others, they simply take your breath away, they try to take you down for the count. That’s when you show what you are really made of. How do you rise up and fight? How do you show what you are willing to live for? Debbie Fink is facing the challenge head on, by choosing to sacrifice to save her life. The outcome is not in her hands, perhaps not really in the hands of the doctors and surgeons, though they will do all they can to get this right and to prolong Debbie’s days on this earth. Maybe there could even be another miracle on the horizon…cancer-free. But like Debbie says she has learned you can’t focus on what you can’t control. Cancer, any type of cancer has its own agenda, its own plan and the focus needs to be on how you will react, not on the outcome.

As author of this blog I can control one thing as well. With surgery set for tomorrow, I would make a simple request. Keep Debbie in your thoughts and prayers. She is a warrior on the front lines and sometimes the positive thoughts of many can create the good karma Debbie deserves to see this through.

After all Debbie is all in… for life.

Until next time thanks for taking the time,

Mark Brodinsky

Mark Brodinsky: Author, Blogger, Speaker, Emmy Winner, Financial Services
It Takes 2. Surviving Breast Cancer: A Spouse’s Story
#1 Amazon Best-Seller
markbrodinsky@gmail.com

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Comments

  1. Rich Polt says

    January 5, 2014 at 9:50 am

    Mark … small world. Debbie is my first cousin. Thank you for telling sharing her story with your readers and for crowd-sourcing everyone’s positive thoughts.

    Reply
    • Mark Brodinsky says

      January 5, 2014 at 10:22 am

      Sure Rich. I think you mentioned it some time ago. Quite the story. Makes us all appreciate life a bit more and recognize courage when you see it.

      Reply
  2. morgainele (@morgainele) says

    January 5, 2014 at 6:17 pm

    Wow… I imagine its been tried already or considered but just in case, there is more and more solid peer reviewed (NIH etc) evidence that cannabis oil cures many cancers. There is a protocol….Have a friend who was in stage 4 breast cancer – told to go home and get affairs in order. Did the protocol and she is fine.

    Reply
  3. Sharon Shown says

    January 5, 2014 at 6:53 pm

    Thoughts and prayers for Debbie..she sounds like a remarkable and courageous woman!

    Reply
    • Mark Brodinsky says

      January 5, 2014 at 7:23 pm

      That she is. We will all be thinking of her.
      Thanks, Sharon

      Reply
  4. Blake says

    January 5, 2014 at 7:37 pm

    Wow I was friends with Debbie when we were young kids. I’m praying for here and want to say she is a true inspiration strong brave women. My thoughts are with her tomorrow and always.

    Reply
    • Mark Brodinsky says

      January 5, 2014 at 10:52 pm

      We all wish her the best. Thanks Blake.

      Reply

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Mark Brodinsky
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Blog Reviews

Love seeing new blogs hit the ground running like this one (by a dad no less), but I also urge anyone vaguely interested in blogging to stay tuned, I am. Good luck on your journey – glad that I am along for the ride.

Rachel Blaufeld

Great blog Mark! I always appreciate reading what you have to say. You are very gifted and talented and hopefully someday you’ll not just blog, but write a book.

 Stephen Koncurat

I’m definitely along for the ride. We’ve all seen how much damage the written word can inflict. More positive writers are needed. And I love how you are using your personal experiences – those with your wife and children – and your gift of writing to open eyes and to inspire others.

Victoria Endicott

Absolutely beautifully written! The girls in your life must be very proud of you. Thanks for sharing Mark, I look forward to reading more!

Gina Glick Jolson

Very shortly this site will be famous amid all blogging and site-building users, due to it’s pleasant posts.

Leila Galloway

Absolutely beautiful! Are you at all thinking of penning a book? You’ve got a fan base out there that really thinks you should Mark. You write so eloquently. Glad that I got onto this site.

Marilyn Lefkowitz

Mark, You are truly a gifted writer and obviously, a special father and husband . Always a delight to read your words.

I’m speechless…beautiful words flow from your heart just like a gentle waterfall into a tranquil stream… thank you so much for the friend request I was blessed the day I clicked confirm.

Lynne Turner Dorsey

From your first writing in 4th grade entitled “People” which was published in the school newspaper, you have always been able to write. Never more so than when you started “Caringbridge” and now your blog, everyone who reads says what a wonderful writer you are. Our DREAM for you is to become an author and encourage people every day. You are by the far the best and we hope and pray you reach your dream.

Bonnie Brodinsky

I know you always thank us for reading but I would like to say thanks for writing.

Stuart Abell

Great piece. You are an inspiration!

Rob Commodari

Mark I just wanted to let you know that you are succeeding in your “ultimate goal”. I have gained so much from your blogs. I look forward to reading them for the special lift that they give me. Thank you.

Amy F.

I love waking up and starting my day with my coffee and your blog! It a great way to start my day with positive uplifting thoughts!! It puts me in a positive frame of mind throughout the day and allows me to reflect on my personal life, make changes, and grow !!!

Gayle Blank

You are quite talented Mark. Thanks for sharing!

Cynthia

I always look forward to your Blog Mark. Thanks for sharing and as you always do, make it a great / remarkable Day!

Chuck Connolly

Thanks for your Blog Mark. It is fun, encouraging and a nice break from a day full of ups and downs.

Jackie Hetrick

With my busy schedule, there is (sadly) little time for reading. But I have two must-reads every time I come across them, the sports section and your blogs. Keep inspiring and following your dream!

Ed Nemec

Mark, you are a truly remarkable individual. You do speak from your heart, I can’t wait to read your book. You are an incredible writer.

Debbie Press

Mark, I am glad I clicked on your post this morning, which lead me to your writing, your goal.
Would like to connect. This speaks to me.

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I can’t wait to read the book. I have followed all the blogs and feel so good that I know u guys. You make me cry but you make me laugh too. All the very best to you!

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WOW!!! It Takes 2 is a must read for anyone who has known someone diagnosed with cancer or other life threatening disease. This is the real story of a family lead by an incredible woman, Debbie Brodinsky, who took radical steps to beat the breast cancer beast. The story is told by her husband, Mark Brodinsky, through journal entries he kept starting with diagnosis through one year cancer free. This author's unique ability to pour his heart out onto the page draws you in from the beginning and holds you until the very end.

Thanks to Mark and Debbie Brodinsky for this gift...I have a new perspective on what it means to be a breast cancer survivor. You are a hero, Debbie Brodinsky!

TeeBThree
September 25, 2013

ittakes2_reviews_2

This book gives a heartfelt, in depth description of what it is like to go through breast cancer with the one you love. It is beautifully written and I felt as though I was living it with them! I highly recommend this book!

Jgs17
September 24, 2013

ittakes2_reviews_2

In It Takes 2, Mark Brodinsky windows us into his world where his wife, the cancer patient, is not the only victim. Part journal, part roadmap, It Takes 2 goes to the real humanity of facing the mortality of one's better half. Mark's candid perspective, love, and fierce intention resonate with hope in a story which is about much more than cancer. Mark himself is perhaps the most heroic character for the way he appreciates this life and so many of us in it...as he says, "thanks for caring."

Réné Pallace
September 24, 2013

ittakes2_reviews_2

It Takes Two: A Spouse's Story by Mark Brodinsky should be read by every person who is experiencing serious illness or injury or by a loved one of someone who is experiencing either of those situations. The book is an eloquent testament to the power of love and the healing energy derived from the belief that things will get better. There is not one word of "poor me" from the author or his wife who suffered breast cancer and the radical surgery she elected to have to beat the cancer. Rather, the book is a celebration of the courage displayed by them both in seeing it through.

The book also encourages readers to speak and write down their true feelings and be validated in them. John Mackovic writing in the Palm Springs, CA Desert Sun on November 2, 2013 quoted author and artist Doe Zantamata who said, " To be happy, you don't have to do anything new. You just have to remember how to believe again...Believe everything good is possible. Believe in your dreams. Believe in people. Believe in love. But most of all...believe in yourself." The author, his wife, their family and extended family and friends never stopped believing in his wife's recovery, and I think, in themselves. Read this book and believe.

Paul A. Riecks
November 4, 2013

ittakes2_reviews_2

This book is a must read for anyone with a family member with breast cancer. It takes you through the spouse's perspective from diagnosis to recovery. Mark journaled his wife's journey and put all of his emotions out there. It is beautifully written and inspiring to anyone going through breast cancer. Thank you, Mark for sharing Debbie's story.

Jmu1109
October 23, 2013

ittakes2_reviews_2

A friend recommended this book. This was a great perspective of a man standing beside his partner and passing along to the reader fear, hope, useful information and a broader story than his own. I loved Vinnie the tattoo artist. This is a great book. Thanks for sharing, Mark and "thanks for caring"

Blahsan

ittakes2_reviews_2

This book is a must read. What sets this book apart from other books about surviving breast cancer is that it is told by the husband and his point of view, not from the survivor. At times sad, at times poignant but even through the worst of it you can always feel the love he has for his wife, her strength and the strength of their extended family and friends. The posts that are included from their friends and family lets you really into the heart and strength of the family. I would recommend this book to anyone who is currently going through this, whether you are the person or the caregiver. I also recommend this book to anyone who has a friend that has been or is currently going through their fight now. It was an eye opener for me.

L. Bogash
Seven Valleys, PA

ittakes2_reviews_2

There isn't a shortage of books about breast cancer, but most are written from the perspective of the person who has battled cancer or a physician or other expert. What an enlightening experience to read about breast cancer from a husband and caregiver's perspective! Not only does the author give us insight into his wife's experience and emotions, but he openly shares and reveals his love, compassion, support, and, yes, sometimes anger at the disease as he stands by his wife's side during their journey to beat the beast. Your story may not be the same, but I guarantee if you have a loved one battling cancer, you won't go wrong reading It Takes 2.

 PattiM
September 25, 2013

 

ittakes2_reviews_2

From the moment I opened this book I never stopped reading. Mark invites the reader to come along on this journey that his family went through. I cried, laughed and learned so much. This book will give comfort and knowledge to those going through similar situations. Most importantly, Mark and his family never give up. They get knocked down and get right back up. They fought cancer together and with their strength, determination and will to prevail... They do!

 Jenny Schloss 

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