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The Sunday Series (151), with Mark Brodinsky

June 4, 2017 By markbrodinsky 1 Comment

In this life one of the greatest keys to happiness is to realize one simple fact: you are who you are and unlike anyone else. Yet the great challenge of this existence is to live up to that responsibility, to simply be YOU.

Much of the drama in the journey of life is to stay on that path – and open to its possibilities, with every distraction and diversion we are apt to face.

If we strive to be the best version of ourselves, with the many failures and successes we will encounter, we will have quite a story to tell.

Everyone has a story.

I am Mark Brodinsky and this is The Sunday Series.


The Sunday Series (151): Finding Me

“Life isn’t about finding yourself; it’s about creating yourself. So live the life you imagined.” – Henry David Thoreau

Balance. For Nicole Zimmerman that single word was missing from her vocabulary. The world seemed to be on full-tilt. Working to complete her doctorate in physical therapy, starting a new job and watching a 3-year relationship dissolve before her eyes. It was a lot to juggle, emotionally, physically, mentally.

For a young woman in her mid-20’s, the weight of the world was laying heavy. She found herself feeding her body and starving her self-esteem. Nicole says she needed a new beginning.

“I was feeling really low,” says Nicole. “It was a three-year relationship and a bad breakup. Plus I had to take my boards for my physical therapy doctorate, I was newly employed and eating about a pound of pasta every two days, it was ridiculous.”

For Nicole she knew she needed a change, and it was a call to a friend and a conversation that turned things around.

“If you can change your mind you change your life.” – William James

“I contacted my friend Tisana Downing,” says Nicole. “We were talking about getting in shape and she said ‘why don’t you start training with my husband Steve.’ I had no idea what I was in for. I started training three times a week and it was Steve who suggested that I compete in a body building competition. I didn’t know if I was ready to see myself up on stage in a bathing suit, so I went to check it out. One of my friends, Kelly Quinn was competing and she told me, ‘you could totally do this.’ So I decided to give it a shot.”

Nicole turned up the volume and started training harder and more often with Steve and with a nutritionist, Bernie Centrella. Before she knew it, Nicole was training four-days-a-week, then five, then on certain days, twice in a single day, including the early bird special. “On one of the two-a-days I would wake up and meet Steve at the gym at six in the morning,” says Nicole. “It was called fasted cardio. I would do the stepper, or run, or push a sled with weights on it. All with the goal of increasing my heart rate and burning fat. All of this done on an empty stomach to burn the most I could.”

 

Then there was the food aspect of the training, something called IIFYM, If it fits Your Macros. IIFYM is a method of dieting that revolves around meeting daily macro-nutritional intake targets. That is, you plan your daily meals to provide you with so much protein, carbohydrate, and fat, based on your goal. It’s not easy. Nicole was measuring every portion and eating just the right kinds of meals. “It was a lot of oatmeal, fish, especially cod, which I ate nearly every night for dinner,” says Nicole. “Extra lean turkey, chicken very low in fat, rice cakes, egg whites and my favorite snack, almond butter. It was easier for me then for some people because I have IBS and some other food sensitivities.”

Building muscle, burning fat, eating just the right amounts. Nicole said she was learning a great deal about herself and in the process of transforming her body she was molding her mind, healing her heart and finding she was more than the sum of her parts.

“This type of training has so much more of a mental component,” Nicole says. “People think it’s physical, but you really have to be dedicated and have a steady mindset. My dad and I always talk about not getting too high or too low, about not getting too competitive, doing it for yourself and seeing your own gains. I had to stay consistent to see results.”

“Mind is everything. Muscles – pieces of rubber. All that I am, I am, because of my mind.” – Paavo Nurmi, Olympic Legend

The social scene for a woman in her mid-20’s can be quite active and a training regimen like this presented plenty of opportunities to take Nicole off track. “I went to weddings, bachelorette parties, baseball games and didn’t drink and stuck to my diet. If I went out with friends to dinner I couldn’t succumb to the stressors, I had to do what I needed to do for me. It’s a hard battle every competitor faces.”

   

Nicole is no stranger to battles in her life. Her parents divorced when she was only two, her mom ended up remarrying, bringing two brothers into Nicole’s life and then her dad gave her a scare that nearly rocked her world. “My dad came over to aunt’s house,” recalls Nicole. “I still remember it, I can still see the whole scene. I was sitting there watching Moulin Rouge – my dad looked at me and told me he just came back from the doctor and he started crying, he said he had a brain tumor. It ended up being an AVM, (arteriovenous malformation, a tangle of blood vessels in the brain), but it led to serious anxiety for him and some other scary moments. I was only 10 and I thought I might lose him. I’m 28 now, and I’m so grateful to still have him around.”

 

Then there was Nicole’s own health scare, just as she was embarking on her college career. “I was diagnosed with fibroadenoma, basically a lump in my breast. I was only 19 at the time. I had no idea what was going on, they simply said to me do you want to biopsy it, or have surgery. I ended up having the surgery to remove it and all was OK. It reminded me of how things could be taken away from you in a second, it reminded me of the importance of life and of what you need to do in this life.”

“Some steps need to be taken alone. It’s the only way to figure out where you really need to be.” – Mandy Hall

Fast forward to August of 2016.  The training, the fasting, the hard work, battling back from the mental lows. Nicole challenged herself with all of it and in August of last year found herself standing on stage, competing with other women in a body building competition, the Mid-Atlantic OCB, (Organization of Competitive Body Builders),  Battle for the Belt. Nicole took 3rd place in the Bikini Novice and the Bikini Open in Class A. (The classes are set by the height of the competitors).

Buoyed by her success and with a renewed mindset to boot, Nicole decided to give training and competition another shot. Just because she had been here before, didn’t make it any easier. In fact this time around the challenges were more pronounced. “The second time around the mental part was the hardest,” says Nicole. “The first go-round I had a scale and I could weigh myself to monitor my progress. When that training ended I would still weigh myself and I wasn’t happy with the results of gaining a few pounds at a time. This time around Steve took the scale away, I had no idea, I had to rely on Steve simply telling me I was on the right track, without knowing my numbers at all. He also took away my favorite snack. The day he took away my almond butter I choked up with tears,” laughs Nicole.

Although facing tougher mental struggles, it was increased support from her family, friends and the other gym-mates that made the difference. Nicole says: “there were people at the gym I really don’t talk too much, but who would come up to me in the middle of my prep, and say, ‘you look great. I can tell you are going to do this, keep pushing.’ This really affected me and gave me inspiration, especially on those mental low days.”

“Sometimes what you think you know gets in the way of what’s possible. If you believe you can do something you can figure it out.”– Jack Canfield, Chicken Soup for the Soul

  

The inspiration worked and it goes both ways. On May 20th, in the OCB Jersey Natural Open, Nicole earned second place in the Bikini Open and this time around she took the top spot in the Bikini Novice, Class A.

   

Her first-place finish brought her mom, Sherry, to tears and filled her dad, Brian, with tremendous pride. Brian knows all about the results of putting in the hard work to reach a goal. A top-producing salesman and sales leader for most of his adult life, Nicole says her dad taught her to be strong and independent. Now here she was, showing-off her physical muscles and mental fortitude. Nicole says it’s always been her goal to make her parents proud and to set the bar high for both of her brothers, Liam and Jack.

 

She’s also learned through her tough training and triumphs, that she’s having impact above and beyond what she even imagined when this challenge began. “A lot of people have been coming out of nowhere to see me and ask me for help,” says Nicole.”They are telling me what an inspiration I have been for them. This has helped me 100%. I feel like I’m more comfortable with my daily life, my family, friends and self-esteem. I’ve affected my family in how they eat, exercise and live. But also there’s also this renewed sense of you really can accomplish anything you want to if you put your mind to it. I would tell others not to limit themselves because of fear. Don’t let so-and-so tell you that you can’t, or doubt yourself, because you will fail before you even try. You can surprise yourself. When you really go for it you will get the results you want. Like my dad taught me, you will fail ten times before you succeed even once.  You can dictate your life. You have the choice of what you want to do with your life, if it’s not going right you can make the choice to change it.”

For Nicole so much of this journey was about answering the question – who am I?  As she engaged in the process of transforming her body and her mind the answer came to light. “This journey helped me to find out who I am,” says Nicole. I’m not there yet, you never really get there because the day you stop learning is the day you stop living. I got my old self back. I tell people think back to when you were a little child, like 5-years-old, when you are really not influenced by anything yet. You are genuine. Go back into that space of being a child to see who you were and you’ll find again who you really are now.

Until next time thanks for taking the time,

Mark Brodinsky

Author: The Sunday Series. Real Stories of Courage, Hope & Inspiration, Volume I (https://www.amazon.com/Sunday-Mark-Brodinsky-Stories-Inspiration-ebook/dp/B0722MJL55/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1494160949&sr=8-2&keywords=the+sunday+series)

Author: The #1 Amazon Best Seller: It Takes 2. Surviving Breast Cancer: A Spouse’s Story
(http://www.amazon.com/Mark-Brodinsky/e/B00FI6R3U6)

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Comments

  1. Brian Zimmerman says

    June 4, 2017 at 9:49 am

    Mark,
    Great article. Nicole will continue to inspire and grow. There is no limit on what she will accomplish.
    Thank You,
    Brian

    Reply

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Mark Brodinsky
Emmy Award Winner, 1996

Ever thought about writing a book? check this out!

Blog Reviews

Love seeing new blogs hit the ground running like this one (by a dad no less), but I also urge anyone vaguely interested in blogging to stay tuned, I am. Good luck on your journey – glad that I am along for the ride.

Rachel Blaufeld

Great blog Mark! I always appreciate reading what you have to say. You are very gifted and talented and hopefully someday you’ll not just blog, but write a book.

 Stephen Koncurat

I’m definitely along for the ride. We’ve all seen how much damage the written word can inflict. More positive writers are needed. And I love how you are using your personal experiences – those with your wife and children – and your gift of writing to open eyes and to inspire others.

Victoria Endicott

Absolutely beautifully written! The girls in your life must be very proud of you. Thanks for sharing Mark, I look forward to reading more!

Gina Glick Jolson

Very shortly this site will be famous amid all blogging and site-building users, due to it’s pleasant posts.

Leila Galloway

Absolutely beautiful! Are you at all thinking of penning a book? You’ve got a fan base out there that really thinks you should Mark. You write so eloquently. Glad that I got onto this site.

Marilyn Lefkowitz

Mark, You are truly a gifted writer and obviously, a special father and husband . Always a delight to read your words.

I’m speechless…beautiful words flow from your heart just like a gentle waterfall into a tranquil stream… thank you so much for the friend request I was blessed the day I clicked confirm.

Lynne Turner Dorsey

From your first writing in 4th grade entitled “People” which was published in the school newspaper, you have always been able to write. Never more so than when you started “Caringbridge” and now your blog, everyone who reads says what a wonderful writer you are. Our DREAM for you is to become an author and encourage people every day. You are by the far the best and we hope and pray you reach your dream.

Bonnie Brodinsky

I know you always thank us for reading but I would like to say thanks for writing.

Stuart Abell

Great piece. You are an inspiration!

Rob Commodari

Mark I just wanted to let you know that you are succeeding in your “ultimate goal”. I have gained so much from your blogs. I look forward to reading them for the special lift that they give me. Thank you.

Amy F.

I love waking up and starting my day with my coffee and your blog! It a great way to start my day with positive uplifting thoughts!! It puts me in a positive frame of mind throughout the day and allows me to reflect on my personal life, make changes, and grow !!!

Gayle Blank

You are quite talented Mark. Thanks for sharing!

Cynthia

I always look forward to your Blog Mark. Thanks for sharing and as you always do, make it a great / remarkable Day!

Chuck Connolly

Thanks for your Blog Mark. It is fun, encouraging and a nice break from a day full of ups and downs.

Jackie Hetrick

With my busy schedule, there is (sadly) little time for reading. But I have two must-reads every time I come across them, the sports section and your blogs. Keep inspiring and following your dream!

Ed Nemec

Mark, you are a truly remarkable individual. You do speak from your heart, I can’t wait to read your book. You are an incredible writer.

Debbie Press

Mark, I am glad I clicked on your post this morning, which lead me to your writing, your goal.
Would like to connect. This speaks to me.

Aileen Braverman

I can’t wait to read the book. I have followed all the blogs and feel so good that I know u guys. You make me cry but you make me laugh too. All the very best to you!

Beverlee Rendelman

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WOW!!! It Takes 2 is a must read for anyone who has known someone diagnosed with cancer or other life threatening disease. This is the real story of a family lead by an incredible woman, Debbie Brodinsky, who took radical steps to beat the breast cancer beast. The story is told by her husband, Mark Brodinsky, through journal entries he kept starting with diagnosis through one year cancer free. This author's unique ability to pour his heart out onto the page draws you in from the beginning and holds you until the very end.

Thanks to Mark and Debbie Brodinsky for this gift...I have a new perspective on what it means to be a breast cancer survivor. You are a hero, Debbie Brodinsky!

TeeBThree
September 25, 2013

ittakes2_reviews_2

This book gives a heartfelt, in depth description of what it is like to go through breast cancer with the one you love. It is beautifully written and I felt as though I was living it with them! I highly recommend this book!

Jgs17
September 24, 2013

ittakes2_reviews_2

In It Takes 2, Mark Brodinsky windows us into his world where his wife, the cancer patient, is not the only victim. Part journal, part roadmap, It Takes 2 goes to the real humanity of facing the mortality of one's better half. Mark's candid perspective, love, and fierce intention resonate with hope in a story which is about much more than cancer. Mark himself is perhaps the most heroic character for the way he appreciates this life and so many of us in it...as he says, "thanks for caring."

Réné Pallace
September 24, 2013

ittakes2_reviews_2

It Takes Two: A Spouse's Story by Mark Brodinsky should be read by every person who is experiencing serious illness or injury or by a loved one of someone who is experiencing either of those situations. The book is an eloquent testament to the power of love and the healing energy derived from the belief that things will get better. There is not one word of "poor me" from the author or his wife who suffered breast cancer and the radical surgery she elected to have to beat the cancer. Rather, the book is a celebration of the courage displayed by them both in seeing it through.

The book also encourages readers to speak and write down their true feelings and be validated in them. John Mackovic writing in the Palm Springs, CA Desert Sun on November 2, 2013 quoted author and artist Doe Zantamata who said, " To be happy, you don't have to do anything new. You just have to remember how to believe again...Believe everything good is possible. Believe in your dreams. Believe in people. Believe in love. But most of all...believe in yourself." The author, his wife, their family and extended family and friends never stopped believing in his wife's recovery, and I think, in themselves. Read this book and believe.

Paul A. Riecks
November 4, 2013

ittakes2_reviews_2

This book is a must read for anyone with a family member with breast cancer. It takes you through the spouse's perspective from diagnosis to recovery. Mark journaled his wife's journey and put all of his emotions out there. It is beautifully written and inspiring to anyone going through breast cancer. Thank you, Mark for sharing Debbie's story.

Jmu1109
October 23, 2013

ittakes2_reviews_2

A friend recommended this book. This was a great perspective of a man standing beside his partner and passing along to the reader fear, hope, useful information and a broader story than his own. I loved Vinnie the tattoo artist. This is a great book. Thanks for sharing, Mark and "thanks for caring"

Blahsan

ittakes2_reviews_2

This book is a must read. What sets this book apart from other books about surviving breast cancer is that it is told by the husband and his point of view, not from the survivor. At times sad, at times poignant but even through the worst of it you can always feel the love he has for his wife, her strength and the strength of their extended family and friends. The posts that are included from their friends and family lets you really into the heart and strength of the family. I would recommend this book to anyone who is currently going through this, whether you are the person or the caregiver. I also recommend this book to anyone who has a friend that has been or is currently going through their fight now. It was an eye opener for me.

L. Bogash
Seven Valleys, PA

ittakes2_reviews_2

There isn't a shortage of books about breast cancer, but most are written from the perspective of the person who has battled cancer or a physician or other expert. What an enlightening experience to read about breast cancer from a husband and caregiver's perspective! Not only does the author give us insight into his wife's experience and emotions, but he openly shares and reveals his love, compassion, support, and, yes, sometimes anger at the disease as he stands by his wife's side during their journey to beat the beast. Your story may not be the same, but I guarantee if you have a loved one battling cancer, you won't go wrong reading It Takes 2.

 PattiM
September 25, 2013

 

ittakes2_reviews_2

From the moment I opened this book I never stopped reading. Mark invites the reader to come along on this journey that his family went through. I cried, laughed and learned so much. This book will give comfort and knowledge to those going through similar situations. Most importantly, Mark and his family never give up. They get knocked down and get right back up. They fought cancer together and with their strength, determination and will to prevail... They do!

 Jenny Schloss 

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