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#6, Man Was I Wrong: It’s Just About… Life.

May 5, 2013 By markbrodinsky Leave a Comment

I thought this would be it. I thought after they finally pulled the damn drains out of Debbie’s sides about three weeks after surgery that it would be smooth sailing…

I thought I would wrap up the journal and we would move on with life. I mean how much could happen now? Man was I wrong.

It was just another stop on the journey, not a destination. I also quickly realized I needed the journal to survive, as much as it couldn’t survive without me. And it wasn’t fair to cut our story short. But for one day I thought it just might be. Below is what I thought would be the final post.

Winners. The Final Post.
Written May 29, 2012 10:47pm

Winners. Goes without saying we feel like that now. The good day had two great “bookends”, Deb getting her drains removed and then Emily’s team, the one I co-manage, winning their softball game with the storm clouds rolling in and just one of the best damn double plays you’ll ever see to finish a game.

Deb first. She was scared this morning, scared pulling out the drains was going to hurt. From what she had read, it was time to double-up on the pain pills. But it wasn’t so bad. At our appointment, Meg, our PA, warned her it would feel a little “wormy”, but that would be about it. She was dead on. Deb said it felt like a worm being pulled out of her side. No pain… just gain. The gain I could see was the sense of relief on her face, dramatic relief, that this part was over. I could feel it too. I said it before, the drains were like the umbilical cord that kept you tethered to the hospital – tethered to the surgery – tethered to the memory of that day – tethered to the remnants of what cancer did to her. Watching them get thrown in the trash was nirvana. Goodbye. Adios. Get the f–k out.

The ride home was like a new day. Though, just like this journey, there’s always something that steals a little bit of the joy. Deb took that pain pill before the appointment, just in case. And now as we stopped at Santoni’s for some food, she felt dizzy and had to get back in the car. We went home, and she got in bed for a nap. I was going to go to work. But my place was here, until she was ready to get up, or our friends came by to bring her lunch. By noontime, when I was ready to go, lunch and the girls arrived and Debbie was much better. Much, much better. And why shouldn’t she be… a chapter closes and now a new one begins. It’s the other reason I need to stop the daily postings. Time. More on that in a moment.

I forgot to mention that after they pulled the drains, they also filled the breasts with 50cc of saline, each side. Meg said it would start to round them out a bit at the bottom, and it did. I can already see when all is complete (and not that they weren’t before), but these will be some spectacular Ta-Ta’s. Ba ba booey.

Debbie will get injected every week for the next two months, until she gives the doctors the sign – “No Mas”. By the end of July that part will be over. We then wait two months more and in October, October 3rd to be exact, will be the second surgery to pull out the expanders and put in the implants. Game, set, match. It will be outpatient surgery, but still a 1-2 week recovery. We leave for Vancouver on October 28th on a trip I earned through work, so we wanted it wrapped up by then. It will all be good. Taking Deb and her new “friends” international, baby. As Charlie Sheen would say, “Winning”.

We’re all winners. All of us. Every day you get up and breathe fresh air, you’re winning. Every day a gift. Every day an adventure. Every day something unexpected. Good. Bad. Ugly. Funny. Heart-stopping. Breathtaking. It’s just life. Life threw us a curveball and we managed a big hit. We didn’t strike out, not this time. Our at-bat was a courageous one. Much more so for the hitter, my wife, who stood in the batter’s box and fouled off pitch, after pitch, after pitch, til she finally decided to lay down a bunt. A sacrifice. Debbie’s sacrifice. She took one for the team. Man it hurts to say that . But it’s true. I couldn’t do it for her, though so many times I wished I could. All I could do was coach – offer support, offer encouragement, show love, compassion and tell her we’re gonna win this game. We did. This time.

I’m not stupid enough to think that everything in life will be smooth sailing here on out. It’s life. How does that saying go — if it was easy everyone would do it. And everything would be perfect. It’s not. Life ain’t always beautiful. It wasn’t meant to be. But what can be as close to perfect as possible is the way you choose to view what happens. Always expect the best, be positive, have a great attitude, smile, laugh, dream, plan and be damn ready so if the worst happens, you don’t let it beat you down. And don’t worry how you fell, focus on how you are going to get back up.

Winners. We feel like winners because everyone around us made us feel that way and we can’t thank you enough. There would never be enough room on this website to express how we truly feel about everyone who has been there for us. Simply saying “thank you” falls short, but it’s all we’ve got. Just know, we’ll be there for you, in thought, in prayer, in action.

It’s time to turn the page. Time to get back to life’s most important job full-time – raising our daughters, Sophie and Emily. We gave life to them and they are life’s ultimate gift. Every day you get to keep unwrapping them and see what’s inside that box. They never cease to amaze me. And why shouldn’t they, they were born from the most amazing woman I have ever met, Debbie, my wife.

There’s a new country song by Josh Turner that pretty much sums up why these postings need to stop. It’s called “Time is Love”. I’m posting a link to the page below from You Tube. Give it a look and a listen. And from the bottom of my heart, thanks for listening to me.

Thanks for caring, Mark

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Mark Brodinsky
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Blog Reviews

Love seeing new blogs hit the ground running like this one (by a dad no less), but I also urge anyone vaguely interested in blogging to stay tuned, I am. Good luck on your journey – glad that I am along for the ride.

Rachel Blaufeld

Great blog Mark! I always appreciate reading what you have to say. You are very gifted and talented and hopefully someday you’ll not just blog, but write a book.

 Stephen Koncurat

I’m definitely along for the ride. We’ve all seen how much damage the written word can inflict. More positive writers are needed. And I love how you are using your personal experiences – those with your wife and children – and your gift of writing to open eyes and to inspire others.

Victoria Endicott

Absolutely beautifully written! The girls in your life must be very proud of you. Thanks for sharing Mark, I look forward to reading more!

Gina Glick Jolson

Very shortly this site will be famous amid all blogging and site-building users, due to it’s pleasant posts.

Leila Galloway

Absolutely beautiful! Are you at all thinking of penning a book? You’ve got a fan base out there that really thinks you should Mark. You write so eloquently. Glad that I got onto this site.

Marilyn Lefkowitz

Mark, You are truly a gifted writer and obviously, a special father and husband . Always a delight to read your words.

I’m speechless…beautiful words flow from your heart just like a gentle waterfall into a tranquil stream… thank you so much for the friend request I was blessed the day I clicked confirm.

Lynne Turner Dorsey

From your first writing in 4th grade entitled “People” which was published in the school newspaper, you have always been able to write. Never more so than when you started “Caringbridge” and now your blog, everyone who reads says what a wonderful writer you are. Our DREAM for you is to become an author and encourage people every day. You are by the far the best and we hope and pray you reach your dream.

Bonnie Brodinsky

I know you always thank us for reading but I would like to say thanks for writing.

Stuart Abell

Great piece. You are an inspiration!

Rob Commodari

Mark I just wanted to let you know that you are succeeding in your “ultimate goal”. I have gained so much from your blogs. I look forward to reading them for the special lift that they give me. Thank you.

Amy F.

I love waking up and starting my day with my coffee and your blog! It a great way to start my day with positive uplifting thoughts!! It puts me in a positive frame of mind throughout the day and allows me to reflect on my personal life, make changes, and grow !!!

Gayle Blank

You are quite talented Mark. Thanks for sharing!

Cynthia

I always look forward to your Blog Mark. Thanks for sharing and as you always do, make it a great / remarkable Day!

Chuck Connolly

Thanks for your Blog Mark. It is fun, encouraging and a nice break from a day full of ups and downs.

Jackie Hetrick

With my busy schedule, there is (sadly) little time for reading. But I have two must-reads every time I come across them, the sports section and your blogs. Keep inspiring and following your dream!

Ed Nemec

Mark, you are a truly remarkable individual. You do speak from your heart, I can’t wait to read your book. You are an incredible writer.

Debbie Press

Mark, I am glad I clicked on your post this morning, which lead me to your writing, your goal.
Would like to connect. This speaks to me.

Aileen Braverman

I can’t wait to read the book. I have followed all the blogs and feel so good that I know u guys. You make me cry but you make me laugh too. All the very best to you!

Beverlee Rendelman

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WOW!!! It Takes 2 is a must read for anyone who has known someone diagnosed with cancer or other life threatening disease. This is the real story of a family lead by an incredible woman, Debbie Brodinsky, who took radical steps to beat the breast cancer beast. The story is told by her husband, Mark Brodinsky, through journal entries he kept starting with diagnosis through one year cancer free. This author's unique ability to pour his heart out onto the page draws you in from the beginning and holds you until the very end.

Thanks to Mark and Debbie Brodinsky for this gift...I have a new perspective on what it means to be a breast cancer survivor. You are a hero, Debbie Brodinsky!

TeeBThree
September 25, 2013

ittakes2_reviews_2

This book gives a heartfelt, in depth description of what it is like to go through breast cancer with the one you love. It is beautifully written and I felt as though I was living it with them! I highly recommend this book!

Jgs17
September 24, 2013

ittakes2_reviews_2

In It Takes 2, Mark Brodinsky windows us into his world where his wife, the cancer patient, is not the only victim. Part journal, part roadmap, It Takes 2 goes to the real humanity of facing the mortality of one's better half. Mark's candid perspective, love, and fierce intention resonate with hope in a story which is about much more than cancer. Mark himself is perhaps the most heroic character for the way he appreciates this life and so many of us in it...as he says, "thanks for caring."

Réné Pallace
September 24, 2013

ittakes2_reviews_2

It Takes Two: A Spouse's Story by Mark Brodinsky should be read by every person who is experiencing serious illness or injury or by a loved one of someone who is experiencing either of those situations. The book is an eloquent testament to the power of love and the healing energy derived from the belief that things will get better. There is not one word of "poor me" from the author or his wife who suffered breast cancer and the radical surgery she elected to have to beat the cancer. Rather, the book is a celebration of the courage displayed by them both in seeing it through.

The book also encourages readers to speak and write down their true feelings and be validated in them. John Mackovic writing in the Palm Springs, CA Desert Sun on November 2, 2013 quoted author and artist Doe Zantamata who said, " To be happy, you don't have to do anything new. You just have to remember how to believe again...Believe everything good is possible. Believe in your dreams. Believe in people. Believe in love. But most of all...believe in yourself." The author, his wife, their family and extended family and friends never stopped believing in his wife's recovery, and I think, in themselves. Read this book and believe.

Paul A. Riecks
November 4, 2013

ittakes2_reviews_2

This book is a must read for anyone with a family member with breast cancer. It takes you through the spouse's perspective from diagnosis to recovery. Mark journaled his wife's journey and put all of his emotions out there. It is beautifully written and inspiring to anyone going through breast cancer. Thank you, Mark for sharing Debbie's story.

Jmu1109
October 23, 2013

ittakes2_reviews_2

A friend recommended this book. This was a great perspective of a man standing beside his partner and passing along to the reader fear, hope, useful information and a broader story than his own. I loved Vinnie the tattoo artist. This is a great book. Thanks for sharing, Mark and "thanks for caring"

Blahsan

ittakes2_reviews_2

This book is a must read. What sets this book apart from other books about surviving breast cancer is that it is told by the husband and his point of view, not from the survivor. At times sad, at times poignant but even through the worst of it you can always feel the love he has for his wife, her strength and the strength of their extended family and friends. The posts that are included from their friends and family lets you really into the heart and strength of the family. I would recommend this book to anyone who is currently going through this, whether you are the person or the caregiver. I also recommend this book to anyone who has a friend that has been or is currently going through their fight now. It was an eye opener for me.

L. Bogash
Seven Valleys, PA

ittakes2_reviews_2

There isn't a shortage of books about breast cancer, but most are written from the perspective of the person who has battled cancer or a physician or other expert. What an enlightening experience to read about breast cancer from a husband and caregiver's perspective! Not only does the author give us insight into his wife's experience and emotions, but he openly shares and reveals his love, compassion, support, and, yes, sometimes anger at the disease as he stands by his wife's side during their journey to beat the beast. Your story may not be the same, but I guarantee if you have a loved one battling cancer, you won't go wrong reading It Takes 2.

 PattiM
September 25, 2013

 

ittakes2_reviews_2

From the moment I opened this book I never stopped reading. Mark invites the reader to come along on this journey that his family went through. I cried, laughed and learned so much. This book will give comfort and knowledge to those going through similar situations. Most importantly, Mark and his family never give up. They get knocked down and get right back up. They fought cancer together and with their strength, determination and will to prevail... They do!

 Jenny Schloss 

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