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#10, My (Our) Story: It’s Just About… Life.

May 1, 2013 By markbrodinsky Leave a Comment

our storyWhen you speak from the heart, everyone who has one buys in. I’m hoping I’m right.

On April 13th, 2012, my wife Debbie was diagnosed with breast cancer. On the pages of Caringbridge.org, (search debbiebrodinsky), I started a journal documenting the journey, which three surgeries, multiple recoveries, and plenty of emotional moments later, will lead to the One Year Cancer Free moment on May 10th, 2013.

Today is May 1st. Over at the Caringbridge.org site I have elected to share the Top Ten most significant moments of that journey, posting them one day at a time, leading up to May 10th.

But I’ve decided to mirror that message here on this blog. And instead of just posting the link, I am posting the journal entries. I hope you will choose to take part. Although I open myself up on these pages on a daily basis, I am offering up a deeper view into my world, into my heart, but more importantly if you choose to follow, you will get to know the woman I am incredibly fortunate elected to accept my hand in marriage more than 15 years ago.

So here it goes, #10. And we start at the beginning, with what was titled, My Story, about what was happening to Debbie, but which I quickly learned was Our Story. So if you will take my take my hand and share my heart, we’ll begin:

And so another journey begins. However, this time it will end differently. I’ll say it again, this time there will be a different ending.

Two-and-a-half years ago we lost our father/father-in-law, Jerry Gross, after a battle with and surgery to remove esophageal cancer. We didn’t think it would end that way, but it did. We were just beginning to get on with our lives… and now we learn the love of my life, the mother of my two beautiful daughters, Debbie, has been diagnosed with breast cancer.

It all started with a mammogram back in March that showed something was “a little different” from another mammogram about a year ago. And after an MRI, an Ultra-Sound and eventually an MRI needle-guided biopsy, we had an answer. After the biopsy, the radiologist told us he believed at first glance there was a 1-in-10 chance the tissue sample was malignant.

Unfortunately he was wrong. The pathology report showed the tissue was not benign. It is DCIS, Ductal Carcinoma In-Situ. Thousands of cases are diagnosed ever year. But there is also an invasive tumor outside the duct, the real area of concern… and a few other areas of “suspicion”.

On Thursday, April 19th, we met with one of the best, Dr Neil Friedman, head of the Hoffberger Breast Center at Mercy Medical Center. After an examination and a review of the films he confirmed, cancer.

The options: a lumpectomy (not easy because of the cystic nature of the breast) or a mastectomy. Debbie has opted for the latter. But being the young mother of two, the decision is to go with a double mastectomy. The goal is to stop looking over our shoulders, always worrying about the next mammogram, the next irregularity, the next “follow-up”, the next round of testing. Its time for all that to end. Its time to move forward, without fear.

We just learned this evening, that the mastectomy and the reconstructive surgery will be scheduled for Thursday, May 10th. Dr Bernard Chang from Mercy will do the reconstructive surgery and implants. In the end, this will be OK and Debbie will be one of the survivors.

Never thought we would be going through anything like this… but who does? It is simply another avenue on the journey of life. Country singer Gary Allan has a song, “Life ain’t always beautiful”. But my wife is, my girls are, our family is, our incredible friends are… and that ‘s what it is all about. With all your love and support how can we lose? Debbie will need all of it as she begins the next chapter of her life… and our lives together. Already we need to say thanks to so many for reaching out and letting us know you are there. It is a true blessing.

My wife is a fighter. No doubt about that. She will come out of this on the other side, better than she went in. The struggle of life does not beat you, it only makes you stronger. I am married to the most beautiful, funny, smart incredible woman.. who happens to be an outstanding mother to boot. No cancer is going to take that away and it will not defeat us.

Deb gets her strength from our girls, Sophie and Emily, from her sister Alisa and maybe most of all from her mom and my mother-in-law, Sharon, who herself is a 20-year-breast-cancer -survivor. She is leading by example. You fight back, you don’t get beat, you ride the emotional rollercoaster and when the ride ends, you get up and look back and realize you were scared, but you made it. That’s all that matters.

All of those who survive every day give us strength: “The journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step. To know the road ahead, ask those coming back”.

Those who have made the journey before Debbie give us strength.

Those who love us give us hope and light.

Those who we have never met, but are living the same challenge…. you have our support.

Thanks for being there. We couldn’t ask for more.

Mark

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Mark Brodinsky
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Blog Reviews

Love seeing new blogs hit the ground running like this one (by a dad no less), but I also urge anyone vaguely interested in blogging to stay tuned, I am. Good luck on your journey – glad that I am along for the ride.

Rachel Blaufeld

Great blog Mark! I always appreciate reading what you have to say. You are very gifted and talented and hopefully someday you’ll not just blog, but write a book.

 Stephen Koncurat

I’m definitely along for the ride. We’ve all seen how much damage the written word can inflict. More positive writers are needed. And I love how you are using your personal experiences – those with your wife and children – and your gift of writing to open eyes and to inspire others.

Victoria Endicott

Absolutely beautifully written! The girls in your life must be very proud of you. Thanks for sharing Mark, I look forward to reading more!

Gina Glick Jolson

Very shortly this site will be famous amid all blogging and site-building users, due to it’s pleasant posts.

Leila Galloway

Absolutely beautiful! Are you at all thinking of penning a book? You’ve got a fan base out there that really thinks you should Mark. You write so eloquently. Glad that I got onto this site.

Marilyn Lefkowitz

Mark, You are truly a gifted writer and obviously, a special father and husband . Always a delight to read your words.

I’m speechless…beautiful words flow from your heart just like a gentle waterfall into a tranquil stream… thank you so much for the friend request I was blessed the day I clicked confirm.

Lynne Turner Dorsey

From your first writing in 4th grade entitled “People” which was published in the school newspaper, you have always been able to write. Never more so than when you started “Caringbridge” and now your blog, everyone who reads says what a wonderful writer you are. Our DREAM for you is to become an author and encourage people every day. You are by the far the best and we hope and pray you reach your dream.

Bonnie Brodinsky

I know you always thank us for reading but I would like to say thanks for writing.

Stuart Abell

Great piece. You are an inspiration!

Rob Commodari

Mark I just wanted to let you know that you are succeeding in your “ultimate goal”. I have gained so much from your blogs. I look forward to reading them for the special lift that they give me. Thank you.

Amy F.

I love waking up and starting my day with my coffee and your blog! It a great way to start my day with positive uplifting thoughts!! It puts me in a positive frame of mind throughout the day and allows me to reflect on my personal life, make changes, and grow !!!

Gayle Blank

You are quite talented Mark. Thanks for sharing!

Cynthia

I always look forward to your Blog Mark. Thanks for sharing and as you always do, make it a great / remarkable Day!

Chuck Connolly

Thanks for your Blog Mark. It is fun, encouraging and a nice break from a day full of ups and downs.

Jackie Hetrick

With my busy schedule, there is (sadly) little time for reading. But I have two must-reads every time I come across them, the sports section and your blogs. Keep inspiring and following your dream!

Ed Nemec

Mark, you are a truly remarkable individual. You do speak from your heart, I can’t wait to read your book. You are an incredible writer.

Debbie Press

Mark, I am glad I clicked on your post this morning, which lead me to your writing, your goal.
Would like to connect. This speaks to me.

Aileen Braverman

I can’t wait to read the book. I have followed all the blogs and feel so good that I know u guys. You make me cry but you make me laugh too. All the very best to you!

Beverlee Rendelman

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WOW!!! It Takes 2 is a must read for anyone who has known someone diagnosed with cancer or other life threatening disease. This is the real story of a family lead by an incredible woman, Debbie Brodinsky, who took radical steps to beat the breast cancer beast. The story is told by her husband, Mark Brodinsky, through journal entries he kept starting with diagnosis through one year cancer free. This author's unique ability to pour his heart out onto the page draws you in from the beginning and holds you until the very end.

Thanks to Mark and Debbie Brodinsky for this gift...I have a new perspective on what it means to be a breast cancer survivor. You are a hero, Debbie Brodinsky!

TeeBThree
September 25, 2013

ittakes2_reviews_2

This book gives a heartfelt, in depth description of what it is like to go through breast cancer with the one you love. It is beautifully written and I felt as though I was living it with them! I highly recommend this book!

Jgs17
September 24, 2013

ittakes2_reviews_2

In It Takes 2, Mark Brodinsky windows us into his world where his wife, the cancer patient, is not the only victim. Part journal, part roadmap, It Takes 2 goes to the real humanity of facing the mortality of one's better half. Mark's candid perspective, love, and fierce intention resonate with hope in a story which is about much more than cancer. Mark himself is perhaps the most heroic character for the way he appreciates this life and so many of us in it...as he says, "thanks for caring."

Réné Pallace
September 24, 2013

ittakes2_reviews_2

It Takes Two: A Spouse's Story by Mark Brodinsky should be read by every person who is experiencing serious illness or injury or by a loved one of someone who is experiencing either of those situations. The book is an eloquent testament to the power of love and the healing energy derived from the belief that things will get better. There is not one word of "poor me" from the author or his wife who suffered breast cancer and the radical surgery she elected to have to beat the cancer. Rather, the book is a celebration of the courage displayed by them both in seeing it through.

The book also encourages readers to speak and write down their true feelings and be validated in them. John Mackovic writing in the Palm Springs, CA Desert Sun on November 2, 2013 quoted author and artist Doe Zantamata who said, " To be happy, you don't have to do anything new. You just have to remember how to believe again...Believe everything good is possible. Believe in your dreams. Believe in people. Believe in love. But most of all...believe in yourself." The author, his wife, their family and extended family and friends never stopped believing in his wife's recovery, and I think, in themselves. Read this book and believe.

Paul A. Riecks
November 4, 2013

ittakes2_reviews_2

This book is a must read for anyone with a family member with breast cancer. It takes you through the spouse's perspective from diagnosis to recovery. Mark journaled his wife's journey and put all of his emotions out there. It is beautifully written and inspiring to anyone going through breast cancer. Thank you, Mark for sharing Debbie's story.

Jmu1109
October 23, 2013

ittakes2_reviews_2

A friend recommended this book. This was a great perspective of a man standing beside his partner and passing along to the reader fear, hope, useful information and a broader story than his own. I loved Vinnie the tattoo artist. This is a great book. Thanks for sharing, Mark and "thanks for caring"

Blahsan

ittakes2_reviews_2

This book is a must read. What sets this book apart from other books about surviving breast cancer is that it is told by the husband and his point of view, not from the survivor. At times sad, at times poignant but even through the worst of it you can always feel the love he has for his wife, her strength and the strength of their extended family and friends. The posts that are included from their friends and family lets you really into the heart and strength of the family. I would recommend this book to anyone who is currently going through this, whether you are the person or the caregiver. I also recommend this book to anyone who has a friend that has been or is currently going through their fight now. It was an eye opener for me.

L. Bogash
Seven Valleys, PA

ittakes2_reviews_2

There isn't a shortage of books about breast cancer, but most are written from the perspective of the person who has battled cancer or a physician or other expert. What an enlightening experience to read about breast cancer from a husband and caregiver's perspective! Not only does the author give us insight into his wife's experience and emotions, but he openly shares and reveals his love, compassion, support, and, yes, sometimes anger at the disease as he stands by his wife's side during their journey to beat the beast. Your story may not be the same, but I guarantee if you have a loved one battling cancer, you won't go wrong reading It Takes 2.

 PattiM
September 25, 2013

 

ittakes2_reviews_2

From the moment I opened this book I never stopped reading. Mark invites the reader to come along on this journey that his family went through. I cried, laughed and learned so much. This book will give comfort and knowledge to those going through similar situations. Most importantly, Mark and his family never give up. They get knocked down and get right back up. They fought cancer together and with their strength, determination and will to prevail... They do!

 Jenny Schloss 

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